When Will My Life Begin

Lana Condor for Harper’s Bazaar Vietnam August 2019.

Is that something that has changed? I know it’s not ideal, but is going back to school an option for you?

Anything I can do to help.

I’d just be going through the motions again. I’m a good student. I like studying. I just never found a focus. Going back wouldn’t help. 

Eittie smiled a little and took a sip of her drink. ‘It sounds like you’re in a bit of a jam then. I suppose find a job, any job, that lets you have a life that you enjoy and has purpose… work to live, as they say. Surely there’s things you want to do like travel?’

“That’s the thing. When I sit down to think about it my head just goes blank. It’s a super depressing concept being totally without direction or purpose.” Olivia just shrugged. “I’m trying though. It’s why I’m here. To find a job and give myself a little purpose even if it’s just earning money.”

Ah, I see. Was there just nothing that caught your interest while you were in school? I can understand how it would be difficult to just choose something that is supposed to define your identity in a way.

Of course, I would be happy to send along the e-mail. If there is anything else you are curious about, please let me know.

I was just more focused on having good grades. That’s all that mattered to me.

‘Sometimes I think the contemporary push to ‘do what you love’ and ‘a job should be your passion’ is only putting more pressure on people to have the perfect career. The truth of the matter is, no job is going to be 100% perfect.’ Eittie thought of her own accidental path to her job, sure it was in her field but it wasn’t what she wanted to be doing long term, still it paid her well. ‘What do you want to do with your life? The one thing you want to achieve? Whatever you do should be in service of that goal.’

“That’s where I struggle. For the longest time the only goal I had was to have the best grades and be the top of my class. I wanted to be the example that having two dads changes nothing in a childs development. When I got to college everyone was shaping their experience to fit their career goals and I didn’t know what to do. I graduated with top marks and I still don’t know what I want to do. I have no goals outside of the basic get a job and move out.”

Jett had a good night sleep for once. He had woken up early as usual and gotten ready for the day. It was going to be an adjustment having a PA, but he knew he needed it. Hearing the knock at the door, he opened it up and smile. “You made it. Hope it wasn’t too difficult getting here.” He said gesturing for her to come inside. “So this is the Chicago home. There are more, but I won’t confuse you with those yet. Uh..” He looked around. It had been so long he had forgotten how to even train someone on what he wanted. “Um. Do you have any questions before we start?”

“Your instructions were fairly easy to follow. I had to commute from DC today but I’m currently looking for somewhere near here since you mentioned it was your main home.” Olivia walked in and looked around thinking how it certainly looked like the hope of a billionaire bachelor. “Do you live here alone?” She asked noticing a couple of things that would indicate there was a woman but it still very much screamed single man. As she looked around she god distracted by large abstract painting up on one of the walls. It was vibrant and colourful and really stood out against the rest of the penthouse. “Wow.”

You just might be.

It’s quite alright. I think that we’ve all forgotten to introduce ourselves at one point or another. There’s nothing wrong with being an openly friendly personality who gets excited to talk about things with people.

I’ve done it like five times recently. I just figure no one really cares what my name is. 

I hate seeing someone having such a difficult time of it. Sometimes the job market can be a complete nightmare. I’ve seen it happen with plenty of my friends.

It’s worse when people always ask you “Well what do you want to do?” and all you can do is shrug.

What is it that you would like to do most? Was there something on your mind when you chose your focus? I do know that there is an opening for a secretary in the school I work at if Italy is in on your radar. I believe they just opened accepting applications and I’d be more than happy to forward you information.

I don’t really have hobbies. I read. Watch youtube videos. All I thought when I chose my focus was that I needed to chose a major to graduate. Could you send me the details of that? That would be great.

‘I suppose I meant more that so many people have immigrated now, that accents are no longer a signifier of home. Many people I work with live in the UK but come from all over the world, yet they consider the UK home now.’ Eittie’s eyebrows raised a little before she smiled softly and shook her head. ‘That is a complete myth, it only looks like people know what they want to do. Everyone is just trying to make it by. What did you study in college?’

“Ohhh. Yeah that makes sense. I mean I’m pretty much an example of that. My dad is Vietnamese.” It was actually kinda nice to hear that not everyone had their life sorted. From where she was it seemed like she was so behind but maybe that wasn’t the case. “I did english but I kinda only really went to college because I thought I had to. I didn’t know what I wanted to do so I settled on a major and just went from there.”