Trashcan't

a car you used to drive can also be a kind of dead wife

i would trust weird al with my drink at a party. granted he may put one of those capsules that expands into a sponge animal in it,

you were born in 2006? what are you? a Honda Civic?

can i fucking help you?

So glad at least one guy realizes there is a distinction 💋.

no i’m not obsessed with that character because of romantic or sexual attraction. I am obsessed because they’re my little silly. my best friend. my pal.

TRAGEDY: every member of a once-flourishing group chat is now employed

There’s an emotion only unlocked when you live in a house with multiple stories. I call it “the stair emotion” and it’s when you realize the object you need is on the other side of yet another trip up and down those goddamn stairs. It’s the closest I get to transcending the desire for material goods. Maybe I don’t need that notebook. Maybe I don’t need anything.

every time i search where a movie is streaming and it’s not on like one of the big streamers i whisper to myself ‘poob has it for you’

and punishments. more punishments. surely that will help

project hail mary is a touching and poignant film that leaves you asking questions about humanity like, "wow what if all mainstream media was genuinely good" and "what if book adaptions actually gave a shit about the book in question" and "what if studios hired actors that could actually act, and then let them get a lil wacky with it"

what a beautiful day to not be in high school

This is the like those “remember to be grateful you don’t have a sore throat right now” posts. It IS a beautiful day to not be in high school! Thank you!

not my circus not my monkeys but thanks to my mutuals i know some of the lore