Your form dances at my fingertips

*stopping random people at the mall* look out, ok, because today was a friday thursday

Its cute when peoples understanding of Tumblr comes from screenshots of our best posts. They come here and post with a Screenshot Accent

Hey if you're feeling anxious because of this post I just want you to know you're being watched like a hawk and everyone is making fun of you and every time you ever make a mistake we go out to the woods and write it down in excruciating detail upon a big ancient oak tree that has a record of all your mistakes and we are all beautiful with aesthetically pleasing cocks and holes and breasts and we make out and what flaws we have are romanticize-able-- unlike yours-- and we are all deft cooks who produce sensual meals while we think of your lesser actions and activities.

deft cocks

around the world aropund the world

Occasionally forget people genuinely think capitalism is thousands of years old

One time I was talking about Robin Hood with some coworkers and one guy was like “he was bad because the people he helped learned to expect handouts” and I wanted to be like… okay can you explain how that flawed capitalist propaganda applies to feudalism

reminder that capitalism was literally invented in the 16th century

That’s an exaggeration. What was invented in the 16th century was mercantilism. Capitalism really dates for the beginning of the nineteenth century, with the rise of industry and cash crops over artisans and merchants. Vulture capitalism, with the notion that companies have no duties other than generating profit, is even younger.

Capitalism is only 200 years old and I have to say, they have not been an impressive 200 years

I shall prepare a stew for the wedding! Extra salt!

wait wait wait stew goblin wait

I had a dream that people started using the 🪷 emoji as a reaction and it was universally understood to mean “kill [] and you will be reincarnated as a lotus blossom.” Like someone would talk about going to the White House and people would spam 🪷🪷🪷 in the replies, and everyone just knew without having to be told that that meant “hey you should assassinate the president.”