May you forever be a... @thefancytomato - Tumblr Blog

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chinesewednesday

luidilovins

my couchsona

seananmcguire

I would buy this and cover it in weird plush and sleep on it every night.

batbetbitbotbut

"focaccia, serves 4" yes all 4 me

batbetbitbotbut

"tiramisu, serves 2" yes all 2 myself

introvertia

Pizza, serves 8, yes I 8 it all.

2-point-5

i like being a lesbian and all, but holy shit, men are so cool. i hope all men reading this have a wonderful day.

basilpaste

i like being gay and all, but holy shit, women are so cool!!!! i hope all women reading this have a wonderful day as well!!!!!!!!!

2-point-5

[image description: the epic handshake meme. one arm is labelled gay people and the other is labelled lesbians. in the middle it says "fuck yeah bro". end id]

2-point-5

hey guys, quick reminder! this post is about uplifting other people!!! tags like 'ugh, but men are gross lol' or 'op has never met a man' are not welcome and will recieve an insta block! men are cool! women are cool! thank you for coming to my fucking ted talk! :-)

hungwy

Another reason why trains would be good is that most people are not good at driving

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hungwy

Another reason why trains would be good is that most people are not good at driving

royalhandmaidens

sometimes i think about the history of coffee culture in islam and how it spread like it’s so funny

discovered by sufis who decided it was a miracle from Allah since it allowed them to stay up late into the night for night worship

miracle beans = UNLIMITED DHIKR

cue scholars debating for years about whether it’s haram or halal and if it should be classified as an ‘intoxicant’ or not

fast forward to 16th century ottoman empire, where a woman had the legal right to divorce her husband if he failed to provide her with enough coffee

europeans called it the “mohammaden gruel” or “devil’s drink” bc they believed it to be a “bitter invention of satan and his followers”

fast forward to pope clement viii finally giving in and tasting it to see what the hype is about and then stating: “This Satan’s drink is so delicious that it would be a pity to let the infidels have exclusive use of it.”

pope clement viii then proceeds to BAPTIZE THE COFFEE BEANS

royalhandmaidens

the tags on this post are some of the funniest i’ve ever seen in my notifications but this one made me choke on my Mohammedan Gruel

royalhandmaidens

GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE

carmarthenfan

The coffee divorce thing seemed too funny to be true and it is in fact not true BUT there is a potential loophole in that if an Ottoman woman convinced her husband to conditionally swear that he would divorce her if he failed to provide sufficient coffee, it could theoretically happen in a specific case, although she'd have to provide proof in court of the lack of coffee, which seems tricky.

But IMO a conditional divorce pledge based on coffee is actually a funnier basis for a romcom than a generalized law.

cryptotheism

If staff reformed the ban system to stop banning trans women and used the resulting good will to re-introduce pornography, this site would become a juggernaut. It would swallow Twitter whole.

glazeliights

sapphotron

when you and a friend join a fandom together

sometimesthingsareweird

This is 100% accurate

catchymemes

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sunderwight

Mulan AU where she does get caught by the other fresh recruits while she's bathing but Mushu helps her spin it like the lake is cursed by an evil lizard demon and will turn men into women if they stay in it for too long.

From there it's not actually difficult to get the other soldiers onboard with covering up the fact that poor Ping took one for the team and got afflicted by the vagina curse, especially since it would have been all of them if they hadn't gotten the warning ahead of time. So they agree to help him cover it up, because obviously the army's not going to understand.

Shang is... tentatively glad that the men are bonding and getting along, even if they continue to be deeply weird about it.

great-art-and-a-purple-tongue

Ling: Hey man, what's up— you've got boobs?!?!

Mulan: Uh, what boobs? Huh? Where did these come from?

Mushu: *facepalms and thinks quickly* (speaks from the shadows) I AM THE SPIRIT OF THE LAKE! BEWARE MY CURSED WATERS FOR THEY WILL TURN MEN INTO WOMEN!

Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: Oh no! The spirit of the cursed waters!

metazanni

I love tumblr's dedication to solving problems in the funniest way possible.

wilted

gloomsday

sent this message to my coworker today and he sent me this screenshot with microsoft teams's suggested replies... incredible 10/10 no notes.

leolaroot

mx-misty-eyed

rb to give a snout-out to the gays

grawly

every time I think about Dilbert I think about this comic and how the question being asked is Not Stupid and its answer is genuinely interesting and arguably very important information anyone using a computer should know

officecyborg

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homunculus-argument

"I learned a lot from making this" is artist talk for "making this sucked ass and I'm not entirely happy with the result."

msburgundy-but-worser-deactivat

whoever said diamonds are a girl's best friend clearly has never met ibuprofen

luimnigh

Actually literally accurate. The song originates in the 1949 musical Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, while ibuprofen was invented in 1961.

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