Hurtling towards the future, bone second at a time. she/her; early 40s; video games, snails, poetry, silliness, occasional fanfic, occasionally nsfw smallercomfort.bsky.social
my name is v. if i forget to tag or warn for something please just whack me with a cardboard tube. I will try to tag things appropriately; please be responsible about the content you interact with.
I should probably make some disclaimer here like, "may contain trace amounts of tentacle porn". Except that's a little like the bag of mixed nuts that says "may contain peanuts." I write porn and occasionally reblog nsfw things.
I have a cooking/food blog: @disaster-kitchen. You can find me on ao3: solaciolum.
important tags:
#snails (i just think they're neat)
#about me (vibes)
#nattering/#my fic/#literacy was a mistake (posts that are mine/fanfic that is mine/talking about writing)
#poetry (poems that are not mine, mostly)
#music (stuff I'm listening to, sometimes)
#i should calligraphy that (maybe someday i will)
#sea of stars (current fixation)
#philosopher's bone(r)/#musical theorems/#out of time (sea of stars pairing tags: aephorul/resh'an, b'st/resh'an, and resh'an/specter knight (from shovel knight))
#warhams/#necrons/#snecrons (warhammer 40k, the silly metal skeleton men, and all posts dealing with love dart/snail sex xenobiology)
#monster boyfriends/#orizyn (wh40k pairing tags: oltyx/yenekh and sometimes lysikor; orikan/trazyn)
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Honestly, I could probably post this on my main since it isn't really that explicit, but whatever, here it is, just in case. Boobage censored per guidelines from this dang blog site. I don't know, I was drinking when I drew this, so I wanted to draw these two going on their own bender, but also being both horny and scrungly about it. Couple of all time.
yknow I'm feeling a bit brave so I will venture to say what this blighted essay's pitch actually is: reading project hail mary (novel and film) as a ravishment fantasy. in both main threads of the narrative grace is brought wildly out of his element and pulled into the orbit of a mysterious foreign stranger who is significantly stronger / richer / more powerful than him, forced to accept unsolicited lavish gifts and personal praise despite protests and discomfort, and made to live in isolated locations in extremely close proximity to these people with no say in the matter, all of which are common motifs in ravishment fantasies. on her own, stratt also brings in other common motifs of restraints, drugging, being above the law, multiple kidnappings (I'm doing crazy things with the classical definition of "rape" as in "abduction" and its shared etymology with "rapture" as in "being taken to the heavens"), and the very specific yet still common motif of "otherwise trustworthy partner goes too far and doesn't take 'no' for an answer." rocky on his own brings in the overprotective flavor common to a lot of dark romance novel heroes, i.e. "I make sure you sleep and I like to watch you while you do it, I make sure you eat enough even if you've got baggage about it, I make inhuman displays of strength when you're injured, and as long as I'm around I'll make sure nothing bad ever happens to you ever again."
the issue I was running into with researching this a few weeks ago is that almost all of the scholarly writing on the content of people's forced-sex fantasies focuses solely on women's fantasies and starts with the research question of "why would women enjoy imagining such a horrible misogynistic thing?" despite surveys often showing that men have force-fantasies (where they are the one being forced) at very comparable rates to women. my hypothesis for a bit was "either men's fantasies are exactly the same as women's or they're completely different in [x] way," which was disproven interestingly when I did finally find something about men's force-fantasies: in content they are almost exactly the same as women's fantasies but the emotional motivations are often different in [y] way, which I hadn't expected. and [y] also super applies to my buddy ryland, perhaps even more than my original [x] hypothesis.
my hopes for writing this are twofold: a) to address the question I sometimes see phm audience members come away with of "if grace likes his life by the end and doesn't seem that mad about all of that, is the message supposed to be 'violation of bodily autonomy is good, actually?'", and b) to lightly resist one of the prevailing notions in the study of forced-sex fantasies, that ravishment fantasies are solely abstracted and fantastical and pleasurable and are completely 100% separate from fearful paranoid imaginings of / flashbacks to realistic sexual violence.
oh also: the most common interpretation of why people have ravishment fantasies is that it allows the fantasist to disavow a desire they feel ashamed of because, in the fiction of the forcing, they don't *want* it at all, they're being made to do whatever it is and can't be considered at fault. as I allude to in my final paragraph of the original post, I think it's a tad more nuanced, but there's definitely a lot of truth to that. grace can tell stratt that he's not smart or important or capable or brave or selfless enough to do what she wants, but she'll ignore it, make him do it anyway, and kit him out with skilled staff members and expensive lab equipment and coffee just the way he likes it. it's a fantasy of being respected and heroic and good whether he likes it or not.
with rocky, the fantasy is of being forced to be loved and protected. rocky decides to initiate contact, he decides that he's moving into the hail mary, he decides that he's always going to watch grace sleep even if grace says he doesn't need it, he decides to gift grace the fuel to get home even when grace pretends he doesn't want it, and he decides he's not going to let grace die to save him even when grace says he's made his choice. the two scenarios allow grace to experience the rewards of being selfless without needing to be so gauche as to ever say he thinks he's that good of a person AND to experience the rewards of being selfish without saying he thinks he deserves to be cared for.
something something extremely sexy when magic users resort to physical violence. yeah i have the power of god and anime on my side but i also have THESE HANDS. i cast Punch You In The Face. i take my magic staff through which i channel the vast energies of the elements and the cosmos and i cast Severe Concussion And Skull Fracture. casting time for xenoglossy too long, chose the quicker route of Stab You In The Throat.
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Nana Visitor said that whenever they would try to renegotiate contracts between seasons for Deep Space Nine, Paramount would threaten to kill their characters in a shuttle craft accident and refused them.
No need to support Paramount, watch it all here!!!
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I think it would be fun to go full out with â1001 Arabian Nightsâ orientalized fictional New York setting. Itâs somehow always the 20s, and 80s and also contemporary. Thereâs depression era gangsters and Wall Street finance bros. Spider-man or the Teen Aged Mutant Ninja Turtles might show up. The Mayor is never named but is a constantly felt presence. Sometimes the World Trade Centres are there, sometimes theyâre not.
Pages 40 - 50 of my The Holy Gosh Darn long-form fancomic, "You Don't Need a Lonely Night."
This was originally 20 pages long, but I did not want to overwhelm people with 20 damn pages, so I'm uploading the first 10, so if you're wondering why it kind of ends abruptly, that's why.
More notes under the "Keep Reading."
Given the amount of mortal lives the Angels in THGD took (most of which were specifically in the Bible), I portrayed them as beings who, especially in millennia past, uninterested or outright dismissive of Earth and its living creatures. It's not that they don't admire God (allegedly) creating everything, but that Angels are tasked to essentially watch over and babysit these lowly creatures. So they do see Earth's creatures as lesser beings and beneath them. They're only trying to be better about not behaving this way in present time period.
By contrast, prior to Death being recruited by God into Heaven as one of his Archangels, all he really had was himself and his sister, Life. The latter is officially portrayed in the comic as a being who fertilizes and appreciates every living being on Earth. Why would she not? She's Life! She served as something of a contrast to how God raised his Angels, someone who is vastly accepting and especially empathic; lessons she passed down to her brother and one Azrael has been trying to implement to Cass (with mixed results.)
It'll be important later down the comic why Azrael has gotten cynical in his role that he's become a con artist who willingly messes with the very souls he was taught to treat as sacred and instead see them as easy victims to scam from.
Originally the taxi driver was going to be one of the Elders, specifically the one who loans cars. It was going to be a running gag that he spend the entire car ride unaware of Azrael and Cassiel's problems because he's senile, instead just rambling about nonsense. I ended up using the Badger instead due to him canonically having 74 jobs. Plus, his abrasive personality just worked a lot better to counter some of Azrael and Cass' bullshit.
Azrael's playing Animal Crossing, BTW. He probably also has the Tony Hawk Pro Skater remakes in there, too.
I cut out a scene at the beginning where Satan and Metatron instruct Azrael and Cass right before the taxi arrives. In particularly, there would have been a mildly comical scene where Satan tells Azrael to keep himself clean because the mission was important and told him to fork over his weed that he packed. ALL the weeds. Cue Azrael taking out, like, five bags worth in his person.
Again, I'm being ambiguous about when this takes place other than sometime after 2016. so War could be using Hell Twitter (or is that a redundant title? ;D) or Hellsky for all I care. If I purposely use dated or recent slang at any point in the comic regardless of when they first went viral, that's on purpose.
War is very amused with Gabe. She thinks he's dorkiness is endearing. She's surprisingly not that enthused over his impulsive need that end in violence. Not that she can't understand (because she's gotten angry over minor shit that caused her to break out machine guns), but she's also War, and has the know-how to strategize and properly engage and understand the field in which she both works and is. She would be admonishing Gabe for screwing up and not getting his goddamn laser beams under control because he got frustrated again.
Gabe is just terrified of War.
Puriel, by contrast, is utterly fascinated with Pesto. I've liken Puriel to be very good at logistics and management. She was in the Scholar Class of Angels when she was first created (Cass was, of course, in the Warrior Class), which she took to like duck to a pond. I imagine she's bothering the hell out of Pesto, reciting historical events of plagues and other viral infections Pesto has spread back in her glory days. And all Pesto wants is for someone to talk about her bass guitar, is that so wrong?
Cass isn't that oblivious, she knows what Puriel is doing. She just refuses to play her game.
Death and War have a specific way of flirting that one can deem highly inappropriate from an outsider's perspective. War's been the one keeping the two in somewhat of a stalemate, one where she likes doing out on dates with Death, but hasn't desired to take it any further yet, let alone sleep with him. Death thinks he has a shot.
But seriously, any cis dudes out there dating other gals? Don't Do What Death Don't Does: don't flirt like he does. Please be a lot more classy than Azrael.
Cass has a history of dating "bad boys" types (not necessarily people who only uses he/him pronouns, mind, Angels do not have any hang-ups on gender or sexuality) because as much of a no-nonsense, will not suffer fools greatly person she is, she's also the type to need to fix things. And she'll often take it upon herself to do it when people ask because she thinks she's the only one who can because god forbid anyone else do the work. And that unfortunately includes the people she dates, specifically drawn to folks who have "issues" she wants to fix. Which leads to bad break-ups which in turn leads her to date other people with similar backgrounds and it's a vicious cycle all over again.
Death back in the days was a major contrast, before he turned con artist. If anything, he was kinda Cass' Manic Pixie Dream Boy. Which is why Cass did not see him as a romantic option... at first.
I had Azrael say something nastier to Cass in page 49, hence why her reaction on panel 4 looks disproportionate. I altered it to what it is now because the original dialogue was just too damn crass and makes him come off as gross. It's a delicate balance I'm trying to maintain where Azrael is both a petty criminal with a douchebag personality, but also capable and goodhearted deep inside, willing to fix his fuck-ups and maintain a friendly persona when he isn't grifting anyone. And one of the things I want to come across is that he really tries not to say anything too vulgar directly in relation to her as a person because of their shared history.
1) do this even if you're under 40. seriously. I definitely should have been doing something like this for years and I only turned 40 a month and a half ago
2) if you're like me just now trying this going "oh god i've only done 15 and i think my hands are cramping" start lower than 30 and increase by 5 once whatever number you're doing no longer makes your hand cramp up. I can manage about 15 per exercise at the moment.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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There Stands The Grass, by Togi Kayako (ĺĺŽčĺ)
Kindling, by Iron Eater *
Casting Pearls, by Greta Jia-Kang Cabrel
Landscape with Oak and Irritated Traveler, by shukyou *
Lakeshore Delights, by Rey Rider *
Big Girl Words, by Etienne Telling
I shelter you with my branches. I taste my fruit on your tongue., by Devin Ambrosia *
Summer Skin, by ChibiSaboten
This New Season, by Rowan York
On the Wall, by Shirozubon Saruko
*illustrated
â
The Fisherwomanâs Prize, by serenity_winner
~*~
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Instead, here in our pages, youâll encounter majestic work-unsafe sights featuring a vibrant array of genders, bodies, identities, relationships, genitals, and kinks, all in their natural habitats. We encourage you to start at the beginning of the issue and follow the path as you venture through its contents, taking things as they come and letting yourself be surprised by what you might encounter. Of course, some guests may choose to curate their own experiences, and thatâs fine too! What matters is the relationship you cultivate with what you find here.
Supported by an army of volunteers, SSBB has managed to keep its doors open and admission completely free for over two decades now. If youâd like to know what it takes to be an SSBB Rainbow Ranger, check out our upcoming themes and dates or visit our Discord to chat with other volunteers! Weâre always looking for new recruits as we continue our living out our mission by giving writers and artists a space to share original works featuring queer love stories and happy endings!
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Take nothing but inspiration
Leave nothing but comments
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(For summaries, creatorsâ notes, and more, please visit the relevant Google Doc of contributor commentary.)
There's over 120,000 words and several artworks of handcrafted, artisanal, guaranteed human-made original queer erotica right here! This is the content you've been waiting for! Read and share and fight back against the forces trying to turn the internet into marketable slop for extremely sheltered six-year-olds!
That Time a Published Author Told Me to Un-Queer My Novel
So, I don't think I ever shared this story on Tumblr before.
As you may know I've spent the past ten years turning my old Welcome to Night Vale fanfic into a stand alone novel called Echo of the Larkspur. Now, I haven't been working on it ten years straight. I'd pick it up, do a bunch of editing and rewriting, submit it to agents/publishers, get turned down, put the book away, wait 2-3 years, dust off the book, re-edit and rewrite, etc etc. A cycle that repeated itself far too many times that I would like.
Well, during one of these cycles when I was in the 'get rejected by every agent and publisher I submit to' stage I asked the writing group I was in what I was doing wrong. Because at this point I had reached a hundred total rejections and I was starting to suspect that the issue was with me.
One of the members of this writing group, a male author who was traditionally published, offered to read my first chapter and give his advice on how to fix it. This was, in retrospect, a mistake. But I was desperate. I sent him the first chapter and waited for his response.
Folks. The email he sent me changed my life.
First he said that agents wouldn't publish my novel because it was Sci-fi with hardcore gay erotica in it. This is curious because while the book certainly is queer, at no point in the conversation with this man did I say it was hardcore erotica. Nor did the first chapter feature any. It's almost as if he assumed that just because something was gay, it had to be hardcore erotica. Interesting.
He went on to say that a Human/Robot pairing was weird and that there was "No Way" my story could seriously address the issues of a relationship like that. Once again, he only read the first chapter. He just...assumed I wouldn't think of that? And that my book wouldn't cover it?
The author then said âI also felt that the LGBTQ inclusion really seems to cloud things.â Direct Quote.
And then this is when he said my favorite quote of them all:
The idea of a book being a sci-fi with romance AND a mystery is a Modern Art Marzipan Owl. It's just too confusing! No one can handle a story that is a mystery in a sci-fi enviroment AND has a romantic subplot! THEIR BRAINS WOULD LITERALLY EXPLODE!
Thankfully he had a solution to my book problem. His answer? Turn the book into an Action Spy Thriller and turn S.A.G.E., a robot that identies as a gay man, into a sexy lady robot who needs a MAN to teach her what it means to be human.
(I assume the male lead will teach the 'confused' female robot how to be human via his penis.)
Now my favorite part about this advice is that at no point did he outright say "Remove the gay part". No, instead he sneakily changed the robot love interest into a female robot as if I wouldn't notice. Just sort of swept away the gay bits as something totally unneeded and just mucking up the narrative. Also that's not the plot of my story, I have no idea where this virus thing came from.
(Also note that the female robot can't be robotic-like at all. Must preserve the average straight-man sex drive at all costs I guess)
He then finished his email basically saying that I should remove everything that 'traditional publishers' don't like (aka the queer parts) and make it easier for 'your average reader' to digest and my book will be good as published!
When I said this email changed my life I meant it. Because it made me realize I'd rather be self published and unknown than traditionally publish milquetoast trash like he suggested. Like holy fuck. If I removed all of the "Difficult" to digest stories out of Echo of the Larkspur then there wouldn't be a book left!
So here I am. Self publishing my Marzipan Modern Art Owl of a book. I know it'll never see the inside of a bookstore or top the charts on Goodreads but hey, I'd rather it speak to one person than have a thousand people get excited for the part where the male lead teaches the lady robot how to be human (via his penis).
If a Queer Sci-fi/Romance/Mystery novel sounds like your jam then consider preordering it!
Looking for something to read now? Can't afford the book? Willing to read in exchange for an honest review? You can join my ARC book readers here!
We need a bookstore that lets us filter with tags like on Ao3, because publishers are losing way too many multifaceted books because they canât advertise it with three tropes.
For reasons I cannot comprehend Amazon doesn't let you preorder physical copies. They'll be on sale July 23rd, the same day the digital version comes out.
And for those who don't do Amazon (totally fair) my book will be put up for sale on other websites like B&N, Kobo, and Itch.io 90 days after the Amazon release.
So uh it has been pointed out that I never actually said what the plot of the novel is in this post so LET ME FIX THAT REAL QUICK:
âThe sole survivor of a massacre, Dr. Ciro Kwakkenbos, has spent the last six years in intensive therapy. Heâs finally capable of working with Artificial Intelligence againâand comes to the Ceres colony determined to prevent robots from committing any future atrocities.
When he arrives, Ciro realizes the robot in charge of the colonyâs security, S.A.G.E. (Sentient Automated Geo-sentinel Engineer), is dangerously close to complete sentience. S.A.G.E. is more interested in observing the colonistsâ everyday lives (and matching them with appropriate musical soundtracks) than following its intended programming. Robots arenât supposed to be charming, kind, or compassionate, either.
But as Ciro investigates, he discovers S.A.G.E. has learned how to lie andâpossiblyâharm and kill humans. Worse, S.A.G.E.âs memories have been hacked, deleting a deadly secret.
Despite the danger S.A.G.E. poses, Ciro canât deny the feelings growing between them. Now Ciro must unravel the truth behind the missing memoriesâbefore S.A.G.E. and the colony are doomed.â
I hope y'all love Ciro and S.A.G.E. as much as I do.
And Huggabot. But Huggabot is a whole 'nother thing.
ATTENTION! Due to a slight hiccup the physical copies of Echo of the Larkspur will be released on July 26th! The ebook will still be available the 23rd! Mark your calendars! And if you want a signed copy drop me a line!
