Curly haired spinster

i wonder if i will still use tumblr in 5 years

after a lifetime of hearing about aragorn but not reading the books or watching the movies, genuinely nothing could have prepared me for his actual introduction. the hobbits picked this man out of a dumpster. he is a textbook softspoken angst prince and he is covered in dirt and he probably smells so bad. he’s the coolest man alive and is so casual about it. his number one skill is Knowing Where They Are and his number two skill is Having A Horrible Destiny That Torments Him. tolkien got it in one i’m afraid aragorn son of arathorn you are the guy of all time

One of my favorite things is tolkein emphasizing just how rough aragorn looks and that aragorn knows it. Tolkeins really like I don't think you understand just strange dirty and rundown this man looks

shout out to me in 5 years…hope shes doing something cool i’m rooting for her

and i know people mean well when they give employment advice but god damn some of them its like "did you try submitting your resume to a place that is hiring" fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck no kidding. shit. ive just been printing them out and eating them. yeah thanks i'll try that

"tumblr's the only social media without algorithms!" "you can still be anonymous on tumblr!" "tumblr's so nice because you don't have to show your face!" WRONG tumblr is special because you can have 3000 followers and still get an average of seven likes a post. i'm doing stand up comedy at a packed venue and one person is laughing

due to inflation you must answer my riddles five

due to budget cuts i will grant you two wishes

due to recent layoffs there is only one of me and I lie 50% of the time

due to shrinkflation the magic bean i can offer you is just the size of a regular bean with a regular beanstalk

having audio processing issues is so humiliating like yeah i heard you and yeah i was actively listening but the problem is i dont know what the fuck you sayed

i was paying attention, i was listening, but you see the problem is....it didnt work

Get in bitch we're going to total stab ceasar

Casual reminder that in the Narnia books it is canon that Lucy rides out to battle with her brothers as an adult in the golden age and Susan does not.

susan can’t even bear to beat trumpkin at an archery match, how do you expect this girl to do battle

“Susan the Gentle” and “Lucy, Catch these Hands”, Queens of Narnia

your honor i was just furthering the plot

Use "said" for dialogue unless you are writing a man talking, in which case use "whimpered"

Ain't my circus but I would know my monkeys anywhere.

witchblr make us a spell that will take all our pms symptoms and transfer them to the oligarchs of our choice

those coconut crabs shot amelia earhart’s plane down because they were misogynists.

Tumblr is the only place where i don't know the reference but it's still funny

its a reference to real life 1937 i guess