The Cat Farm, but Anxious and Nonbinary

I know what I am doing is wrong

I know there is an activity that looks similar that is not wrong

I think that the plan of life-imprisoning (or worse, killing) Epstein, is a bad, bad plan, if you are one of his powerful clients.

You are risking Epstein has a failsafe (with Gislaine or anyone else), set up to release direct incriminating evidence to the press and police upon his death or on his/gf's/confidant's request. Things like logs with client's names, preferences, and frequency of 'purchase', supplier contacts, the works.

Knowing he rehearsed blackmailing Gates, i am certain he had actual dirt catalogued for this exact purpose.

You are risking that the people involved on the supply side of the operation will turn on you.

You are risking a very rich family (Gislaine's) will retaliate because you got their kid in hot water and then murdered her life long lover.

Then there's the technical side.

To accomplish this stupid "murder Epstein in prison" plan, you'd need to get help from someone on the inside of the prison, to either let the killer in and out, or to do the deed themselves. Then whoever is in charge of surveillance needs to cover your tracks. Then someone in the morgue needs to confirm it's a suicide regardless of the evidence.

You need a bare minimum of 3 people, in wildly different positions, whom you can't guarantee you can control, to know you're about to murder someone, and to be willing to help you accomplish that.

You are risking that someone will witness this, or that someone in the chain will not be buyable, will decide to interfere, or will talk later.

You are risking you'll encounter a competent jailer/security guard/detective/doctor/mortician, who will unwittingly discover what you're doing and either stop you or spill the beans about it.

Worst of all (for you, the powerful creep) is that now, if you want to keep your 'lifestyle' going, you're gonna need to establish a new pedo network, which is a lot of work, and risky af.

It becomes exceptionally more risky, if you kill the person who was providing you with deluxe, custom tailored service, and who kept pleading all their available amendments to avoid incriminating their clientelle, even when imprisoned and on trial.

Twice.

Who is going to want to service you, if you reward this kind of exceptional loyalty with death?

No.

No, if I were going to get myself out of this mess, what I'd do is go to Epstein, my good pal, and say: "ok, bud, seems like people want to see heads roll, and unfortunately, police has reports against you going back decades, so they're comin for you.

But, my friend, don't worry.

What we'll do is, you'll get arrested -but you won't talk. You'll go to prison. You'll be treated with kids gloves, cuz they'll still hope to get info from you.

They'll even allow Steven Bannon to do ranty interviews with you, lol.

After a couple months, we stage your "death", remove you from prison, and usher you to a nice, semi-tropical island mansion of your choosing.

There, you'll simply get back to our regular 'buisiness', as a free man, with no record.

So. What say ye, old chap? You down?"

This makes everything easier.

If you do it this way, you don't even need to know a guy inside the prison, the police force, or the morgue.

You don't have to commit murder in a crowded building full of cops and cameras, stage it as a suicide, and get out unobserved. You don't have to find someone to erase your digital tracks.

If your 'victim' is in on it, it's easy to just stage a suicide scene. Have him throw some nooses around, then take curare or something simmilar before the morning check-ins -just enough to knock him out for a couple of hours, so the guards call an ambulance.

After that, all you need is two guys, who already do dirty work for you, to dress as EMTs, intercept the emergency dispatch comms after the "body" is found, waltz in, and take one guy on a stretcher out of the building.

In the 'ambulance', the giggling guy on the stretcher is switched with an already dead guy that looks like him, and you leave that body at the morgue.

Your 'dead' guy exits the vehicle dressed as one of the EMT crew and goes on his merry way, new name and paperwork in hand.

All your plan needs to suceed is: an anaesthetic/paralytic (oh, hmm, i wonder if the child rapist knows where to find something like that) two henchmen who are willing to do weird shit without asking questions (again, i wonder if the child trafficker knows any guys like that), three sets of EMT looking clothes, a vehicle that can pass for an ambulance, a hospital strecher, a radio intr (and maybe someone who can work it, an indian remote worker guy would be ideal), and a guy who forges passports (wow, again, a resource someone who trafficks people might be able to provide).

Lastly, you need the body of a (most probably homeless) dude who kinda looks like Epstein (depressingly, this is probably the least traceable of all of the items on this list).

By the time anyone notices there's something wrong with the body (if they even do!) your giggling friend already left the country, your henchmen are doing club secutity in a completely different state, the 'ambulance' is getting crushed in a compound lot, and Jeffrey Epstein has been declared dead.

Whether the death is actually ruled a suicide or not isn't of much concern to you -as long as the body is identified as Epstein, you're in the clear.

If you wanna be ultra thorough, you can forge Epstein's dental records to match your dead body beforehand (easy to do if Epstein is in on it), make sure most morgues around the jail are elected randos instead of doctors, so there's less chances they even check said records, and make sure the jail doesn't have a medic/doctor in residence, so nobody checks the body before your dudes collect it (both easy tasks to achieve if you're a loaded political donor, but this would require a few years planning ahead)

This way, there's no risk of mutual destruction failsafes, no blackmailing, no one ratting out others in panic, and there's no need to risk infiltration by trying to replace your top dog. The trafficking buisiness can continue without any real disruptions, under its original management.

Now, the operation's most important suppliers will now know, for a fact, that they will be protected, from the public and the law, by all means necessary.

Now, Gislaine knows she is safe, despite being incarcerated. That she need not talk. That she will get better accomodations, and contact with the outside world. And that when there's an opportunity, she will be afforded a pardon, or "home prison" privileges (the same priviledges her boyfriend got on his first time around, so he could keep trafficking while serving his sentence).

This way, Epstein owes you, the rich fuck who arranged this, his freedom -nay, his life -now YOU have cards you can use against HIM.

You are all one team again

Bonus -the entire dramedy around Epstein's imprisonment and suicide (or murder!?) would guarantee a delay in the release of any case files to the public, or further prosecutions.

That's enough time for you, the elite shareholder, to platform homegrown conspiracies about Epstein and the files, while astroturfing your own, crazier conspiracies, Beyonce's Bodyguard style.

It is much, much harder, to demand anyone face consequences for some files noone has seen, if it makes you sound like all the other wackos, you know?

It's enough time for you to go through the Epstein files, 'unintentionally' destroying some parts, while making the remaining less comprehensive (through selective censorship, by adding tons of 'filler' material from publicly available sources, or by "accidentally" misfiling/shuffling/duplicating files).

You can even be cheeky, and introduce a few obvious, riddiculous forgeries into the files, to cast doubt on any of the accusations/information in there.

Thus, if you are eventually forced to release the files, you have preemptively insulated 'your' people from public scrutiny.

"Lots of phoney stuff in there" the president will say. "So sad" he'll add.

And your 'save epstein' scheme can use that same conspiratorial flood you helped unleash as its own handy coverup.

Cuz, with people screaming that Hillary killed Epstein so she could keep eating babies to stay young, people ignoring victim testimony to "investigate" any politician ever saying the word pizza in any context, and "Epstein didn't kill himself" becoming a meme across the globe?

How are you, a journalist/investigator/etc going to be taken seriously, if you look into his death and find it fishy?

Even if you find some evidence, and get it published, the mocking commentary going "Oh yeah, you think the entire Ruling Class are pedos who orchestrated a pseudocide conspiracy? Are you high on pizzagate fumes? Is your source Alex Jones's gay frogs? lol" will drown your reporting out.

You might even end up ignoring obvious evidence, cuz what it points to is insane, and you are not a crazy conspiracy theorist, are you now.

Cuz, even if the Island Predators Incorporated band is actually very lousy at cover ups, it doesn't matter. Their mistakes get lost in the pile of conspiracies around them.

In this hellscape of sensationalist click bait, even if someone tries to report that they were approarched or trafficked by Epstein in 2026 -do you think they'd be believed?

Women aren't even believed under normal circumstances.

Best (worst) of all, if you do it this way, when eventually the authorities catch wind of your renewed activities, and IF they even decide to investigate (cuz acab), they're going to be looking for a new group of people. Best case scenario, they'll suspect that a couple former Epstein associates are restarting some operations.

The last thing they're going to assume is that it's the dead guy and his imprisoned girlfriend -again.

Anyway.

What i'm saying is; killing Epstein is hard, risky, costly, and it doesn't solve your 'i need to rape children regurarly" issue.

Pretending to kill Epstein is easy, cheap, low risk, and makes sure your gravy train is not only fully undisturbed, but safer for all of you to enjoy.

So, yea.

Me: yeah whatever. i dont feel shit.

1 hour and 5 minutes later: dude I swear it’s only been 5 minutes