Delightfully Unhinged

They should invent a person who is sexually attracted to you and also cares about you as a person

so blessed to have the latter but… I just want to be used as a toy sometimes

Oh okay bc we were all wondering

“never kill yourself” is such a funny phrase to me that i think it’s accidently started working. its like an affrimation. say ‘never kill yourself’ enough times as a joke and maybe you won’t try to kill yourself over minor inconviences anymore

I hate job interviewing "why are you interested in this job" I'm literally not? I do not want to do any of this.

"what can you bring to the company?" apprx. 40 hours a week of vague attempts at labor. maybe less if you guys suck.

it's simple really: october is for horror movies with highly stylized villains and iconic monsters because they make for good costumes. early november is for gothic horror because of the fog and decay etc. late november is for zombies (commentary on consumerist culture). december is for psychological horror and stuff where they're trapped in a room because that's when you have to go to holiday parties with your family.

january is for possession and body horror (the loss of control and transformation of a new year beginning plus toxic diet culture). february is valentine's day so you can do whatever as long as you're horny about it.

march is for religious/cult-themed horror because of lent and easter. obviously april is giallo because the blood splatter represents spring rainfall. needs no explanation

may is for cannibalism and horror comedy (taurus season)

all of summer is for urban legends and anything that features children with minimal adult supervision so kids can watch them and be scarred for life. september is slashers because it's back to school season and that shit always seems to happen to teenagers and college students

it only takes one really good day out with your friends and it doesn't even have to be a perfect day

just saw an x-ray of a horse skull. can’t say i’m too happy with it

That's okay, with teeth like those he looks happy enough for the both of you

used to be people would say things like "avast" or "hither and yon". nowadays folks mostly say stuff like "ethernet cable"