look at the fucking clouds

“It’s not about the Cheerios.”

This was in reference to a story about a kid flipping the HELL out into a full-blown panic about running out of their favorite cereal. Not a tantrum, not a whine-fest, but an all-hands-on-deck, code-red, world-is-ending blowup.

The kid had originally come from a very unstable situation and experienced food deprivation. The new adoptive parents were stumped, because look at all the other food! You’re safe! We can get the Cheerios tomorrow!

But it wasn’t really about the Cheerios, it was about that first flicker of unease triggering all the old trauma. From the outside, it looked ridiculous. To the trauma-trained reaction of the kid’s brain, it made perfect sense.

Human brains are weird, and we’re all out here trying to survive. Sometimes our brains do this in socially acceptable, convenient ways. But not often.

When i tell you i did not get a lick of sleep. i had a nightmare every time i closed my eyes nothing even to do with the movie mind you. my chest hurt and i kept waking up sweating and my anxiety was SPIKED

Mark i don't know what you did but i wish that Simon guy didn't die and I fully understand this bloodymary stuff now bc damn i want that boy to have a happier ending

Simon is in his "Final Girl" outfit (the one with his hair tied back and his bandages on, after he cleans himself up with the medkit) with both arms when he gets "blipped" by the Anomaly. He hasn't begun to mutate yet at this point, but he does fall on his ass and crack his brother's pendant, and he's throwing up blood:

I have seen many Bloodymary fics use the Anomaly as a "he got teleported to the PHM universe" plot point, and then proceed to make him half eel with one arm. If you want to be a stickler and keep that continuity going, this is the state Simon's in!

This doesn't count towards people who already know this and are just wanting some disability rep and/or monster!Simon tropes. Both are cool!

But I did want to put down a continuity note just for reference purposes! Here's some more images:

He is in extreme distress, crying, dirty, with the beginnings of the blood eating through his arm. He also has burns on his face, and he'd be mourning that pendant for a hot minute. I mean he sobs over it.

He also has the memory of seeing The Red-Eyed God burned behind his eyelids, and has pretty severe flashbacks of it at the mere thought. Note the thousand-yard-stare:

This is most likely the cause for his mental decline we see later on. Simon can also see the God staring at him through the reflection of the blood, which is mentioned in my PTSD masterpost as something he'd have an immediate severe aversion to (both blood and reflections).

See here for more on Simon's mental health after witnessing the God, if you want angsty whump ideas.

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Inventory time!

Missing- arm, sapling, large amounts of radioactive human blood

Accounted for -unmutated Simon, the iron lung black box, clothes and sheath

When I’m happy I forget my ex religion exists.

They spent so long telling you that you’ll only be miserable when you leave but Im the happiest when I forget about it. Because it was a point of pain for me and I strongly think it was painful for Simon too. For a little bit I was thinking of it when I didn’t have anywhere to go every morning before school or Sunday and Wednesdays. The freedom was foreign but Simon got out of Eden and stayed in the COI prison for a while. So he would think of how strange his freedom is as a convict not an Eden Survivor.

But often I see him turn to religion in moments of joy in fics but… I really don’t think he would. If the religion operates on shame and fear tactics, he would remember it when he’s scared, when he’s lonely, when he’s confused. When he’s trying to understand his trauma and he turns to guilt and repentance because Eden told him that would redeem him. Prayers to save him during and after nightmares. Reminders of the Father when he feels judged. Feeling controlled and contained like he was at Eden when Grace or the Eridians try to study him or keep him from danger.