Bitchy. Witchy. Up to no good.

my house is scary at night

You might say “oh well today we all have access to vitamins and toothpastes and dentists so we don’t need those things in our food supplies” and boy do white people on social media loooove to fucking say that. But here’s the thing: no, people don’t all have easy access to those things. That’s privilege talking yet again

Tag via @bluehairedspidey and vocabulary updated

you fucking don’t

They go to very, VEEEEEEEERY, perhaps annoyingly great lengths to verify age. If I lose ONE of my government-issued ID’s, I’m totally fucked fr work with these people. We also have to sign a LOT of paperwork, on video, while LISTENING to someone tell us “this will be published on the internet. is that okay?” to which we answer YES. More into amateur porn? That’s okay! You can still take measures to ensure that you’re buying safe, consensual porn! By buying it DIRECTLY from female performers on websites like MyGirlFund. Then, you don’t even have to give money to one of the big porn companies, which many of us understandably have some qualms with. It goes straight to her! I realize there are problems in sex work. NONE OF THEM GET SOLVED BY CONVINCING PEOPLE TO STOP PAYING US. YOU ARE STARVING SEX WORKERS WHEN YOU DO THAT. But hey, when have radfems ever given a fuck about the women they actively harm with their misguided efforts?

“Aww. They were checking on him!” I said, like a normal person. Internally, I thought “Maybe you could do the thing you do with dead pets, where you show them to the living pets so the living pet understands they’re gone. But I guess if you did that to a bunch of scavenging species, they’d be like “Well, that’s very sad but he IS food now.” So what you’d need, for human sensibilities, is some sort of transparent corpse barrier. Like a see-through coffin oh that’s what the dwarves were doing! You’ve stopped paying attention to this conversation about the loss of a beloved family member you gotta phase back in.”

I still think we should have MILF Mrs. Bennet. I think everyone should be like “damn” when they see her and then she opens her mouth and they’re like “oh”. I want them to go through the same process Mr. Bennet did, in a much shorter time frame.

who let biologists play dnd

Wh-what do you mean it’s from a birthday cake

We could have been eating him

Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.