i write in my spaceship

Hey guys, it’s Sarah and it’s time for some straight talk. Anxiety is the most common disorder that Americans live with. How common exactly? Just under forty million individuals struggle day to day with the intense, emotionally distressing affects of Anxiety Disorder. If you’re one of these statistics, you know first hand how exhausting it can be. Often times, we are supported by family, friends, co workers, or a loved one. Having a good support system that you can rely on is very beneficial. On the hand, some individuals aren’t so lucky.* But whether you have a support system or not, I can almost guarantee you’ve been in this uncomfortable situation or one similar.

Let's set the scene. It’s finally Summer, and you are meeting up with your friends at the local coffeehouse.

Some people struggle with Sensory Overload. This essentially means receiving more input from our five senses that our brain can handle, process, and sort through.

Sensory Overload is not solely linked to specific kinds of people, but research and studies shows it affects individuals with Autism and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADHD) as well, around 5-16% to be more comprehensive.

In addition, anyone can experience sensory overload. No matter what page of the DSM best describes you, I can confidently say without a doubt, sensory overload is mentally demanding. The struggle can easily leave you feeling exceptionally exhausted, both mentally and physically.

So, let's explore the five senses.

touch

sight

hearing

taste

smell

Touch, Sight, Hearing, Taste, and Smell - these are heightened and amplified when experiencing sensory overload. Let's say I'm in a coffeehouse waiting to take my order. It's crowded. I hear multiple conversations. The buzz of the far too bright overhead lights become louder with each tapping of a student's pen against the table. The heavy whoosh of the espresso machine. Ice dispensing. My brain is competing sensory information, but there's just too much to interpret at the same time.

Similar scenarios occur far too often in my day to day life and when it does happens, the best way to describe this overwhelming sense of discomfort: stuck. My brain simply cannot absorb the numberless information and it feels trapped, leaving my body to panic.

I guess you can say the disco isn't the only place I panic. Super awkward if nobody gets that reference. :)

Hey guys, it's been a minute. (Real quick- why do people use that statement when it's actually been quite a while?) Let me know. Anyways, I've been thinking about this topic quite a lot recently, so let's jump in and talk about the things we dont want to talk about!

According to a recent study, over 80% of 10 year old girls worry about gaining weight! I don’t know about you, but this breaks my heart. A child shouldn’t live with those body shaming thoughts in their head. They should be coloring or doing whatever the hell kids do. But at the same time, can we really blame them? Body shaming is everywhere these days! Unrealistic expectations are far too common. & you wouldn’t dare see a magazine with a women who hasn’t been Photoshop by three different editors. Instagram, Tik Tok, Tumblr, are only a tiny portion of the everyday shit show that starts those initial thoughts of ‘I must look a certain way in order to be liked.’

So really, when you think about it, society has programed a metaphorical virus that blocks their rational thinking process and instead installs these faulty ideas that sadly can result in eating disorders and depression. Society is the perfume ad on your dad’s TV that irrelevantly shows a half naked women swimming in a pool with glorious make up that she definitely didn’t wake up in. Society is the super catchy music you dance to on the radio, but don’t understand the absolutely insulting lyrics. It’s a group of teens in front of a mirror, Mean Girl style, nit picking that their skin is too tan, or their tummy isn’t flat, or their legs are too bulky.

It’s hiding the beautiful fact that - hey girl, that tan skin of yours? It’s your grandma’s heritage shining through you. That extra soft belly? It’s there to nourish you and digest whatever food you want to put in your damn mouth. And those bulky legs? They are the reason you dominate week after week at track practice.

This is where I challenge you. I want you to look in the mirror. Really, take a good look at yourself. If a negative thought pops up, immediately replace it with a compliment by saying out loud. For example: *oh boy, my arms are so fat*- “I have strong thick arms and I am powerful.”

Do this once a day and maybe, just maybe, we can be a small role in becoming the generation that ends body shaming.

Aunt Flow, Shark Week, Girl Flu… whatever you call her, Menstruation is one of the most natural, inevitable, and painful functions in the world. It’s a normal body process for females as they physically mature. It’s celebrated in some cultures as it symbolizes the becoming of a young woman. It’s a girl power kind of feeling, the ‘finally!’ sigh of relief, and yes, an absolute dreadful pain in my front ass. It’s also expensive. But nonetheless, it’s super normal.  

  Sadly, periods are also often categorized as shameful, something girls should keep quiet about, an unnatural and gross process. Now, keep in mind, most girls will get their first period somewhere around the age of eleven. Instead of their Hogwarts acceptance letter, it’s red stains on your new pair of jeans. Some girls even begin menstruation at nine. That’s a young age to be taught shame association. Especially an extremely important topic they barely even know about. You see, studies show, 43% of girls felt unprepared and unsure of what to do when their period started. This means schools are clearly not educating children properly on menstruation.

Grab onto your tampons, because that’s only the beginning of this problematic bloody mess. Did you know period poverty is actually a thing? It’s a real thing, indeed and it’s only getting worse. Right now, half of women in Ireland struggle to afford feminine products. Why women even have to pay for these products in the first place is beyond me. Look, if we add up a year’s supply of sanitary products in the US, the total would cost more than $70. But here’s the worst part - just less than 50% of females around the ages of sixteen are missing school not because of the agonizing cramps and back pains we, as females, must endure, but because they either, 1) can’t afford a tampon or 2) are embarrassed or ashamed. Whatever the reasoning is, enough is enough.

We need to normalize periods. That starts with talking openly on the topic. I strongly believe if we use periods in our everyday conversations in such a nonchalant manner, less and less people will think of it as nothing more than having the common cold.

We can also help our fellow ladies by donating. Have a few purses in your closet that you don't use? Fill them up with tampons, pads, water bottles, and a snack. Next time you see a homeless lady, hand one over. A small act goes a long way.

TW, TW/SUICIDE September is Suicide Awareness month, but we need to talk about it every month, just like the many other mental health related months, more and more people are sharing their very own personal stories and struggles. On the other hand, there are the individuals who sadly continue to remain ignorant and shut down the importance of spreading awareness. While I don’t have the time nor the care to convince the close minded that depression is a real thing, I do however, promise to never stay silent.

In the US, suicide takes the lives of one person every 12 minutes. That means every day, about 105 Americans die by suicide. This is clearly a big problem. Do you ever find yourself tongue tied, at a loss of words, or simply having no idea how to help a friend who is considering to take their life? Below, I’m going to cover a few simple tactics then can go a long way.

How to talk to a suicidal person:

First, let’s get the cat out of the bag, and remember - talking about suicide does not make a person lead more toward that option.

So if you are worried about someone, it’s okay to talk to them. If they open up to you, that means they trust you, so remember to talk to them judgment free.

Validate their feelings. We may not understand what they’re currently going through and why they feel hopeless, but validating someone’s feelings can help them feel understood.

As heavy as it is to discuss suicide, encourage them to keep talking. Studies show talking can save lives.

Don’t appear disappointed, angry, or shocked. This will only make the individual shut down a possible discussion.

Be there. Simply, be there and listen. Truly listen, don’t rush the conversation. Ask your friend if there is anything you can do to help. Chances are, they’ll say no, but don’t leave it at that.

Tell your loved one a few reasons why you decide to live and ask them if they can think of any for themselves as well.

Even if your friend asks you to leave them alone, don’t. You never want to leave an individual who is experiencing suicidal thoughts or intentions alone.

Stay with them or find someone who can. As someone who previously volunteered as a Crisis Counselor, I can assure you these next few steps are crucial:

1.) Remove any objects the person can use to hurt themselves, such as sharp objects, weapons, or drugs.

2.) Ask the person if they can agree not to kill themselves for a short period of time, such as a few hours or days. This can be quite helpful if they are waiting to receive medical attention.

3.) Reassure the person that they are not alone and you will stay with them for safety concerns because you care.

4.) Encourage the person to go to the emergency room. If you can, go with them so they feel supported and less alone.

If you think someone is in immediate danger, call 911.

Resources:

National Suicide Prevention Hotline

1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Available 24/7

Crisis Text Line

Text 'Hello' to 741741 to be connected to a trained crisis counselor.

Free and available 24/7

Trevor Project (LGBTQ)

www.thetrevorproject.org

Veterans Crisis Line

1-800-273-TALK (8255), Press 1

Helpful apps:

My3 Safety Plan

Virtual Hope Box

Operation Reach Out

I struggle with premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). A couple years ago, my therapist suggested I look into getting a diagnosis because my symptoms were spot on. I didn’t even know what PMDD was, but after my official diagnosis, it made so much sense as to why I was feeling the way I was.

The hardest battle with PMDD is how it affects those around me, especially my loved ones. I’ve had great friendships and even relationships end because of the extreme side effects.

With premenstrual dysphoric disorder, what usually happens is the severe irritability, depression, or anxiety will start two weeks before my period starts and will go away three days after my period starts. I have found recognizing my symptoms and writing them down has helped me cope in a way where I can look at my journal and think to myself, “Okay, it’s starting. Give yourself a break. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions.” Validating my feelings is very important and I also find painting to be very therapeutic.

The most common misconception about PMDD is that it’s the same thing as PMS, and that’s very incorrect. It’s a severe form of PMS that can cause debilitating symptoms that interfere with a woman's ability to function. Living with PMDD is almost like being two different people. It’s not your typical ‘I have cramps and want ice-cream PMS’. It’s feeling extremely sensitive, overwhelmed, and paranoid for no reason and it affects work, school, and relationships.

Before I had finally found a treatment that reduces my symptoms, I used to send out a text as a ‘heads up’ to my closest friends, family, and even employers. I make the personal choice to cut out as much contact as I possibly can in order to not further ruin any relationships. I don’t answer my texts. I turn down invites. But I wish people knew the only reason I do so is because I know I am the worst version of myself at that time and can’t function, think, or focus properly. It’s not anything against them at all.

The past week or so, I couldn’t help but notice a pattern (a patten that I once never gave much thought to, apparently) and that is the immense lack of emotions shown by men. This is something I fail to understand and I’m sure I’m not alone here. Now this is something I simply cannot stop thinking about. Because I’m a girl who doesn’t have the emotional range of a teaspoon? Maybe.

But I feel (see? I’m already showing the emotion here) it’s bigger. Let’s dive right in. It’s time for some straight talk.

The fear of being judged is by far the biggest reason men feel the need to hide their emotions. Apparently, they fear the more vulnerable they are, the less masculine they will appear. I, for one, simply do not understand the logic in that statement. In fact, I have recently challenged my best guy friend to express himself freely, saying aloud what he’s feeling, regardless of whether or not, God forbid, someone will overhear and step on his masculinity trait.

One study found that women cry five times as often as men.

I find this to be very believable based on my personal experience alone.

I don’t need to confirm this study comes from a legit source (even though I did) to acknowledge men show emotions differently.

So, why do they? Well for one, we can blame society, people, and media. When’s the last time you watched a film where a boy crying was taught to “toughen up”? I would assume holding back tears and hiding true feelings would ultimately lead to ‘’bottling up’’ emotions. Truth be told, I recently asked a male friend of mine his take on all of this bologna. Interesting enough, he went on to explain not only is it difficult to show emotion or cry, sometimes it’s a matter of not knowing how.

There’s also the fact that men (like women) are complex creatures and extremely hard to read. I mean c’mon, It can’t just be my superb lack of social understanding. The whole “men are simple” statement can take a seat in the back. So listen up men- don’t be afraid. Don’t be intimidated to show your real, authentic emotions. Shed a tear when your asshole roommate won’t give you a break. Cry it out after that heart wrenching movie that you now regret paying for. Because guess what? Your feelings matter and they are just as valid as the girl sitting next to you.

In case you’re currently stigmatizing your friends and telling them to ‘get over it’, you probably did not know that May is Mental Health Awareness Month. You also probably didn’t know that nearly 1 in 5 Americans suffer from mental illness. And you most definitely had no idea that suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death for people aged 10-34. But who am I to make the wild assumption that you, the reader, are the kind of person who looks down on stigma squashers? Or scoffs at the latest Facebook post implying mental health is just as important as physical health? Why would I, one of many nobodies, be so incredibly blunt and straightforward to say there are still people out there, people who I personally know, who are so close minded and unaccepting of those with mental illnesses? Well, someone has to. And while you’re editing the latest pictures you took on your trip to Japan, you’re also using mental disorders as adjectives. “Ugh, my phone froze. I literally had a panic attack.” “Yeah, that TV show gave me PTSD.” “My sister yelled at me yesterday! She’s so bipolar.” But you didn’t think of it that way, did you? And, after you finish your track practice, you know, the one where you go to remind yourself that you’re the prettiest, most popular blonde in your lineage? You’re pill shaming the girl next to you who suffers from anxiety. But we both know if those pills were for what you and your “Abercrombie & Fitch” looking family call ‘a real medical issue’, like migraines or epilepsy, you’d be offering her your water bottle instead of the scowl look on your face. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying your total ignorance to mental health is completely your fault. No, that is not what I’m trying to get at. Because if you’re anything like the reader I assumed you were, it’s very likely that you are in fact, uneducated. But that’s not your fault, is it? Because guess what? You’re also a statistic. And you’re probably, -whoops, actually- most definitely part of the 5% who believe a physical ailment is more serious than a mental illness.