#trigger alert

I’ll start with the more “mild” stuff. Mom brings in little kid to ED for something simple. It was some kind of viral respiratory thing. Really, he should have been fine. But he was abnormally quiet for his age. I looked at his chart. So many psych visits. But no clinical diagnosis (?) I read further. Mom and Dad are going through a bitter separation. Kid is caught in the middle. Not a moment later, the kid’s paternal grandparents come into the ED. And suddenly Mom and kid’s dad’s parents are at each other’s throats. Yelling. Shouting. Screaming. Clinical staff are quick to intervene. Telling them that the hospital is no place for this kind of behavior. But the damage is already done. The poor kid sits in the center of the giant hospital bed, curled up in a little ball. Crying.

It gets ugly. Someone brings an infant to us. The little one is inconsolable. “She rolled off the bed and hit her head.” This is already suspicious. Firstly, an infant should be in a crib, not an open bed. Secondly, 10-week-olds can’t do much of anything. Not even roll. There’s a giant bruise on the side of the little angel’s head. We send her for X-ray. I gasp when the results come back. Fractures. Everywhere. Old ones. And new ones.

And uglier. I watch the news one night. A group of kids were abandoned. Covered in urine and feces. I turn off the TV and head out the door for my rotation. A specialized pediatric unit. And when I get there,  I meet them. The group of kids from the news. My preceptor looks at me. We don’t even get a chance to talk. We spend the next 3 hours taking care of the kids. Feeding them. Cleaning burns and cuts. Bathing them. Dressing them in clean clothing. When I approach the youngest one, he screams. There’s a tug on the sleeve of my white coat. The screaming child’s older brother tells me, “Sorry, he doesn’t mean it. He’s scared because he doesn’t know you.” I take off my white coat and toss it aside. I turn back to the youngest sibling, “Can we play a game?” He stops crying for a moment to stare at me. I smile and raise my arms up to the sky. “Can you reach as high as you can?” He hesitates. But his older brother copies me, “See? Just like this!” The youngest one complies. And he lets me lift his shirt. Whipping scars. His ribs aren’t even pointed in the correct directions. Later after all the kids are fed and admitted for fluids and observation, I learn that one of them needs a blood transfusion. I finally ask my preceptor, “What the hell happened to them?” Dad used to charge people money. To watch him beat the kids.

These are only 3 stories from the past several months.  And they’re not even the worst of the worst.

In a previous post, I briefly mentioned my experience in pediatrics. There were several times when I had to step out of the room. And find a place to cry. Before pulling myself together. Going back into the room. And taking care of my patient.

But this isn’t about me. Words can’t even begin to describe the horrifying things these kids face. And they’re survivors. Brave, courageous survivors. Every. Single. Child.

As someone in healthcare, my job is to care for these kids. And it’s something I feel honored to do. Make sure they are cared for and safe While they are here in clinic. But once they’re out, Other than advocating for child abuse survivors, There’s nothing more I can do.

And this is where my sadness turns to anger.

WHAT KIND OF AN EXCUSE FOR AN ADULT DOES THIS?TO KIDS?

If you and your partner aren’t getting along, then resolve it maturely. Don’t flip out in front of your kid. Don’t tell your kid to tell the other parent that “she’s a whore.” Don’t tell your kid to tell the other parent that “all he cares about is the child support money.” Because you know who gets hurt the most in all of this? YOUR KID.

And this really, REALLY should go without saying, But the past few months have proven otherwise. DON’T HIT YOUR KID. DON’T SLAP YOUR KID. DON’T PUSH YOUR KID. DON’T WHIP YOUR KID. DON’T BURN YOUR KID. DON’T PEPPERSPRAY YOUR KID. DON’T PROSTITUTE YOUR KID. DON’T NEGLECT YOUR KID. DON’T TEST YOUR DRUGS ON YOUR KID. (Yes, I have seen all of the above.)

It doesn’t matter if you’re angry. it doesn’t matter if you’re feeling out of control. YOU DO NOT TAKE YOUR ANGER OUT ON A CHILD.

Every healthcare provider I've ever worked with Who has come across a child abuse situation Has volunteered to testify against the abuser. Because there are no excuses for abusing a child.

If you suffer from your own dumbass decisions, so be it. But don’t you dare hurt a child.