The answer is easy but the question is hard

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

OP do you still have the original image. Would you be willing to share it.

you know you're good at your job when every single person tells you "thank god you're back"

Look if you read fanfic on the clock and everyone is still relieved that you're back you must just be that got-dang good at your job

My grandad worked nights for the railroad, and he liked to say that he got paid for what knew, not what he did. There would be nights without a single train, but someone had to be there to make sure that any train that came by was on time and on the right track. It could be so slow the guys set up a projector and watched x-rated films on the clock. OP, I think your okay.

I wish this feeling upon everyone who wants to wear a dress, its really the best

this makes me so happy as a fat hairy guy who likes skirts and dresses i never get to see guys like me in dresses it’s always skinny twinks this makes me so happy 🥺🥺

I just need a beautiful woman to tell me that my bizarre imitation of human social skills is alluring and sexy

what if I just made my profile picture a male calico cat or something. hurm

Could I suggest a picture of Dawntreader Texas Calboy? He is a beautiful male calico cat who is a chimera. He's also somewhat controversial among some cat fancy associations since he is a male cat with female colors, and some people are strangely transphobic towards him, despite him being a cat? There was even a rule implemented to keep him from competing in a cat show. If you look up his name, he made a few news articles.

what people dont get about divorces is the Whole Thing About Dogs

i have written custody plans for labrador retrievers more complex than i have for children. i went to four years of undergrad, three years of law school, and sat for the bar exam to write up custody exchange provisions for dogs with hyphonated last names

my clients are paying $295 an hour for me to go to court and litigate who makes veterinary decisions for Chuckles the Goldfish and theres literally nothing i can do to stop them