Random

Marcille: Noooo! I'm a picky eater! I would *never* do this... fuck it's to save my subtextual girlfriend...

Chilchuck: alright, but I'm doing this *professionally.* No one step on my toes. I have a *job* to do. And I'm complaining the whole time!

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking species evolved different mechanisms to better survive by that’s putting the effect before the cause. a trait arose, and if they happened to be beneficial, then those with the trait lived longer and had more babies than those without it.

his wife hasn't been kidnapped

their marriage is not healthy or functional

this guy isn't rescuing his wife, he's hunting her down

his wife is a crime boss, those are her henchpeople he's fighting in a john-wick bloodbath

#imagine what their strikes are like #it'd be especially funny if they did the version of striking where they do actually keep doing their duties #but they refuse to take payment #(i've heard of some transportation or medical workers doing this in the past but i'd have to look up sources idk)

#my point is you summon a demon and try to enter into a contract and they're like #you can have it for free i'm just here so i don't get bored during the strike #the boss doesn't get his cut this way but i can still traverse the planes and fuck shit up

#and you're like?? this has to be a trick?? #but then the walls start bleeding and satan starts writing angry strike busting threats on the walls ominously #and the demon is like just ignore that he can't do shit without us it's all talk let's get back to the details#now who were you wanting to fuck over with my evil specialized skills that absolutely deserve fair compensation?

#and you're just nervously glancing over to the increasingly furious scribblings from the king of hell on your wall while stuttering #uhhh this asshole jerry from work #and the demon is just like say no more! i gotchu #enjoy keeping your soul i'm sure it is so juicy and would be so fun for satan to torture for eternity oh well#sucks to be him he should really come back to negotiations then huh

People who are allergic to latex often have reactions to bananas, avocado, kiwi, strawberries and tomatoes, because they have some of the same proteins as latex.

It is rare to be only allergic to bananas, without also being allergic to latex… not impossible, but not common.

And latex is in lots of things (not just condoms lol), like bandaids or elastic in clothing, and contact can make your skin irritated.

woo-hoo! dusty old japanese house with japanese architectural details aplenty

these kids got some ENERGY my goodness

family dynamic's adorable. peak quality dad humor

kids: our house is haunted. parents: that's so cool!

hell yeah, wrinkled old lady rep. we need more friendly old women with potato faces and warts like storybook witches. the backbone of society, these ladies

Plot Summary: Small Child Bothers Local Wildlife

sacred tree sacred tree sacred tree

Introducing Totoro! nobody said this fucker's got TEETH???

Uh-Oh! Inadequate Parental Supervision Detected

(you misplaced your four year old! you're not supposed to do that)

4-year-old: i met a magic forest spirit. dad: oh shit fr?

4-year-old: *angrily hugs sister* missed u bitch

this small child has a smile like a toad. like a really really cute toad. like the cutest toad in all existence. i love her she's perfection please just let this child be happy

rice paddies are so pretty....so back breaking....rice is such a prissy crop

*my crush is stranded in a rainstorm* takethisumbrellait'syoursnowBYE *runs away in panic im so good at flirting*

Giant Chinchilla Learns To Hold Umbrella, Is Fucking Delighted By Experience

take this, it will help you on your quest! *hands u trail mix wrapped in a leaf*

LO-FI HIP HOP STUDY LIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

crouching down to peer at dirt--A++ top notch foundational childhood experience

mom has a big ass forehead

honey! the chinchillas are performing Rituals in the backyard again

help yeah let's jack and the bean stalk this shit

huh so we're all just climbing aboard the giant chinchilla's tiddies now ok

class trip!

the pure adrenaline of Vegetable Gardening

no! the small child is crying! she is bawling her eyes out. no no no. i can't cope with this. emotionally i cannot cope 🥺🥺🥺

i've only had Mei one hour but if anything happens to her i will raze this earth and everyone on it

please someone make this small child smile again

oh no the tall child is crying too

i can't take this. my heart can't take this.

i need a drink

small child running determined to deliver magic veggies to the hospital. this kid is my hero

she is also unsupervised. so, so unsupervised

babe you are FOUR

godDAMMIT ghibli, you cannot give me watercolor sunsets while a small child is missing. u are killing me. my heart is giving out. this is me, experiencing heart failure.

Totoro to the rescue!

no wait CATBUS to the rescue!

i admit i initially thought the cat was a creep. alice in wonderland prejudiced me. i have revised my notions of smiling cats

i've decided the cat is a metaphor for the magic of a robust public transport system

MEI'S OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and so is mom. she's a lovely lady im sorry for what i said about her forehead. it's a noble forehead.

happy ending YES bitch!!!!!!

ok. ok ok ok. that was magical.

Totoro has no external genitalia

though we don't know the specific biology of its species, this indicates:

A) Totoro is female, or

B) Totoro has been neutered.

given that Tortoro's gender is canonically unspecified, i must conclude:

The internet obviously makes fun of him for how awful his outfit is while making comments like

“Bro thinks he’s Batman 💀”

“Batman from Temu be like.”

“Richest man in the world yet can’t get a good outfit.”

This kitchen is getting around that stupid rule by selling you raw, unprepared chicken, and then charging your EBT account for raw, unprepared chicken.

Then as a side thing, totally unrelated, they cook the chicken for free. Since you bought raw chicken with the EBT, it's legal. There's no law against cooking people's raw chicken for free for them. That's just charity.

reminder to myself and whoever else needs it to stop feeding the machine. I'm aware I'm yelling into the void but look at the past couple years of games. They're pushing $70, $80, $100!!! for games that are completely unfinished, unpolished, and sometimes completely unplayable. Yes the game showcases were cool. The doom game looks sick and I don't even go there, but they're shaking the shiny keys to distract you and get you swept up in the hype. They're going to push so much fomo marketing to get you to jump for it full price.

Look at this. This is absolutely insane. $150 and you still have to drop another $60 for the game. Seriously, I'm beyond the memes at this point. Apparently there's another preorder at Gamestop that's ~$200 and doesn't clearly specify if it includes the game or not.

Just.... wait. Pick up a used copy for console. Let the reviews come in, let the patches clean it up. Wait for it to cost less than your monthly electric bill.