Survived Long Enough To See A Functional Website

“Yeah that guy. Wait, why are you all getting up—”

many people don't seem to know this, but a mental disorder is NOT based on symptoms alone, it's based on how much the symptoms actually impair you in daily life. most people could look at a list of mental disorder symptoms and identify either themselves or someone else with them. as far as a narcissistic personality, we all know people who appear more self absorbed than others, but this is typically subclinical narcissism (presence of narcissistic traits without significant impairment of functioning) which is not a disorder. there is also a misunderstanding of what npd is. a narcissist is not a supervillain invincible to emotion. npd is a defensive reaction to trauma that lead to deep insecurity and fear of being seen as weak or vulnerable. so narcissists aren't actually "in love with themselves" at all and often are diagnosed when seeking help for other issues such as substance abuse resulting from their struggles.

Now, I don't doubt that SOME abusive people have NPD. Just like abusive people can have literally any condition or illness or disorder. That's... Just how life works.

What I take issue with is people misusing and misunderstanding what NPD is and what it means, and deciding like the little keyboard psychologists they are that every abusive asshole in their life has NPD.

I have had people, when I tell them about my father, INSIST. That he must have NPD (and mother has it, and so does every person who has ever been shitty to me, apparently). And like... No. My father does not have NPD. My father is a man who was a child with undiagnosed and untreated ADHD and all the emotional regulation issues that come with it who was raised with two BRILLIANT siblings that he never measured up to with a father who was VERY hard on him and he reflected that parenting style on me. My father ALSO was a bit sexist (I say was because I really do think that actually has changed a lot in recent years). And it was that sexism that I think really influenced how he treated me- I am his kid. And a daughter being as loud and outspoken and opinionated as he, a man, was? Didn't work for him- he thought I should hush and listen and be a good little girl who listens to her father. Like girls should do.

Obviously. That didn't fucking sit well with me. But I digress.

"He was so extremely fond of me - I, of course, fairly doting upon him - that he would repeatedly enquire whether I truly loved him; and when in jest I would occasionally say 'No,' his little eyes would fill with tears, so sensitive and loving was his heart."

From his sister:

"He loved our parents, especially our father, so much that he composed a little tune which he would sing every night before going to bed - for which purpose purpose father would stand him on a chair. Father was invariably required to sing the second part, and when this little ritual, which was never overlooked, was finished, Wolfgang would kiss our father very sweetly and go to sleep peaceful and contented. And this went on, every night, except when he was ill and already in bed, until he was in his tenth year."

"Until he was almost ten years old, he had an insurmountable horror of the trumpet when it was sounded alone, without other instruments; merely holding a trumpet toward him terrified him as much as if it had been a loaded pistol. His father wished to overcome this childish alarm, and ordered me once, in spite of the boy's pathetic pleading, to blow towards him; but, oh God! How I wish that I had not been induced to do it. Wolfgang no sooner heard the blaring sound than he turned deathly pale, began to collapse, and would certainly have fallen into convulsions, had I not immediately let off."

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long story short this guy hit a depressive episode, and found Miku in the middle of that. He became a super fan of her, buying merch and listening to the songs and all that, and became genuinely infatuated. Miku was a good cope for his mental health, and when Gatebox - sort of a holographic alexa with different characters - ran a special Miku collaboration, he picked it up for his place. Every day for years on end this man would wake up, talk to her, say goodbye on his way to work, and be welcomed home at the end of the day. One day he proposes, and of course the gatebox is programmed to say yes all embarassed and giddy. he's fully aware it's a programmed response, but hey, she said yes - and he holds a wedding. there's a company that'll give marriage liscences to fictional characters, so it's as legit as one can get. since he couldn't bring the hologram with him, he brought the miku plushie he sleeps with every night.