I'm Moist and Ready

@moistmailman

32.5K posts

"You're a bitch!" Is weak and ineffective.

"I hope you hate watch something but end up loving it" cuts deep though

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

The fact that EDP has a documentary coming out where he himself is actually in where he admits to all of the crimes with no actual care is insane

This mf literally said "none of you f*g**ts can break my ass, cause I'm still standing, bitch!" He was caught trying to fuck a minor and then cried his eyes out when caught and begged the people to not upload it before getting his entire internet career nuked where every platform kicked him off.

He's not standing. He's on life support and this documentary is a pathetic attempt to gain any ounce of relevancy again

Imagine an AU where Pyrrha manages to get herself into some Yakuza Substories situation

Like at one point she found herself in a situation where she had to fight a bunch of grown men dressed as babies, with binkies, bibs and all.

Another time she somehow found herself having to teach a sweet and shy woman the ways of being dominatrix, which involved them roleplaying.

She’s somehow very keen on falling for scams, which usually causes them to be solved by her fighting the scammers for her money back.

And worst of all Nora noticed that Pyrrha have been slackin’ in training (due to being tired from all the shit she has to deal with) and took it upon herself to help her friend grow stronger again being fighting the redhead on the streets randomly; sometimes wearing crazy disguises.

Jaune: You look tired. What’s up?

Pyrrha, bags under her eyes: Fought stripper Nora.

Jaune, slightly choking: W-What?!

Pyrrha, lying face first in her bed: *muffled* Fought stripper Nora.

Driver Instructor: Congratulations Miss Nikos. You’ve passed your driver’s test. You are now allowed to get your licenses

Pyrrha, smiling: Thank you so much. I can’t wait!

*one month later*

Pyrrha, sighing deeply: How do I get in these situations?

Street Racer: YOU THINK YOU ALL BAD SHIT JUST BECAUSE YOU BEAT ME?! HUH, IS THAT IT?!

Pyrrha: No, I honestly don’t—

Street Racer: JUST WAIT UNTIL THE 4 VALE’S DEVILS HEAR ABOUT THIS! THEYRE GONNA BEAT YOU ASS ON THE STREETS!

Pyrrha: Sir, I’m only 18. I just got my license recently, I’m literally not qualify to race— I don’t even know who you’re talking about actually’

Street Racer: THEYRE VALE’S BEST STREET RACERS AND THEYRE GOING TO MAKE YOU EAT THEIR DUSTS WHEN THEY HEAR ABOUT THIS! JUST YOU WAIT! *drives off*

Pyrrha:…….*sighs deeply* Maybe I can enjoy the rest of my day in peace finally.

Nora, jumping from the bushes with her hammer drawn: PYRRHA!!!

Pyrrha: OH COME ON!!

*Pyrrha is walking down a city*

Little Girl, with donation box: Please help me pay for my mother’s surgery.

Pyrrha, smiling: Aw, of course I’ll help. Here you go. *puts money in box*

Little Girl, smiling: Thank you ma’am.

Pyrrha, smiling: You’re welcome. *starts walking away* Man, today has been oddly peacefu—

Angry guy, walking up to little girl: HEY, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! HOGGING ALL THE DONATION MONEY FOR YOUR MOTHER?!

Little girl: W-What?!

Pyrrha, internally: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! WHATS WRONG WITH THIS CITY?!

Angry guy: YOU SELFISH BRAT! ILL KICK YOUR ASS!

Little Girl: *screams in terror*

Pyrrha, grabbing and twisting the man’s arms: I’ve seen a lot of scum bags in my days, but a grown man threatening a little girl? You’re the worse of the worsts. *kicks the man away, causing him to stumble*

*suddenly a bunch of other guys comes to the man aid*

Guy from crowd of men: Hey, what do you think your doing to our boy?! We’re kick your ass, bitch!

Pyrrha, getting in a fighting stance: You’re all welcome to try. But I promise it won’t end well for you.

*20 minutes later*

Pyrrha, panting: Man, that was harder than expected. *glares over at someone* Did you REALLY have join in during the middle of the fight?!

Nora, bruised up and smiling: Yep! Gotta keep your on your toes, Pyr-Pyr. You’ll never know what to expect for a ol’ fashion street brawl. Anything can happen.

Pyrrha, eye twitching: But I was literally fighting 10 guys as is and— *sighs* Never mind. Why do I even leave my dorm? *leaves*

Nora, waving: Same time tomorrow, Pyr-Pyr?

Pyrrha, in the distance: Please no!

Nora, smiling: Okay then. Same time tomorrow then. Bye!

Little girl, awkwardly standing there:…………

Nora, putting money in the box: Hey, thanks for being the cause of my friend’s training back there. I gotta keep her on her toes. You know what I mean?

Little, girl: I-I don’t even know who you are, or what’s even happening.

Pyrrha: *punches a rich CEO so hard that his money comes flying out of his pockets*

Pyrrha, whose finally embracing her weird ass life at beacon: *starts fanning herself off with the money in the air as a flex* That’s what you get for messing with the best.

Pyrrha, in a wetsuit while holding a spear gun underwater in the middle of the ocean: *internally* Okay, I think this is a good large sum of fish I collected. Better return to the boat-

*Pyrrha hear movement behind her*

Pyrrha, quickly turning around: *internally* What was that?

*Pyrrha heard movement in front of her this time*

Pyrrha, turning again: *internally* Something’s here. *loads spear gun*

*ABRUBT CUTAWAY LATER*

Pyrrha, emerging from the water: *taking a deep breath* Okay, I think I did better than usual today. *smiles*

Man, on boat: How you can hold your breath for so long is beyond me.

Pyrrha, shrugging: I’m a huntress on training. We have good stamina.

Man: Still though….anyway, I can’t thank you enough for helping me like this. When I heard about the incline violent sea monsters here, I thought my sushi place would go under. You really saved my business, little lady.

Pyrrha, smiling sweetly: It’s no problem. By the way, do you know how to prepare shark for eating?

Man: Uh…yeah, why?

Pyrrha: Well I killed one that attacked me. Might as well make good use to it, right?

Man: Sure. Just put it on the boat with the other fish you caught and we get can going.

Pyrrha: Got it.

*Pyrrha tosses the sack of fishes onto the boat before the man feels the boat violently shake*

Man, trying to not fall down: What the hell?! Are we being attac- WHAT THE?!

*the man turns around to see adnormally sized gigantic shark with bloody ruby eyes on the boat*

Man, shocked: THAT’S THE BLOODY SHARK!?!?!

Pyrrha: Yeah, I know. I told you I brought a shark.

Man: NO, BLOODY SHARK AS IN A TITLE! THAT’S THE INFAMOUS BLOODY SHARK.

Pyrrha: Oooooh, okay. That makes sense. I was wondering about the eyes during the fight. They’re kinda terrifying.

Man: How did you manage to take that thing down?! That’s a legend of the ocean! Many fishermen met their demise to this beast!

Pyrrha, shrugging: I shot it a bunch.

Man: I am baffled. You did us fishermen a good deed by killing this beast though. Nobody is going to miss this thing.

Pyrrha, smiling: No problem. Thing really scared me though. Came out of shadows and nearly swallowed me whole. If I didn’t punch it off me then I’d be goner.

Man:……you punched a shark that weighs like a ton with enough strength that it actually pushed it off you. And you you had enough force to do this despite being underwater?

Pyrrha, smiling sheepishly: You can thank my friend Nora for that. She’s been sneak attacking me lately and that really pushed me past my limit.

Man: S-sneak attack?

Pyrrha: Yep! Everytime I go outside I gotta be cautious that I don’t wake up in the hospital.

Man, mumbling: What the hell?

*suddenly an unconcious Nora emerges from the ocean*

Nora: *Groans*

Man, freaking out: WHO THE HELL IS THAT?!

Pyrrha: Nora. She tried to sneak attack me in the ocean after the shark fight.

Man: I-is she alright?

Pyrrha, smiling: She’s fine. Can she tag along with us on the way back?

Man: S-s-sure kid. Go ahead.

Pyrrha, grabbing: Thanks.

Man, mumbling: The fuck are they feeding these beacon kids these days?

Jaune, playing Pokémon and has been shiny hunting for days with no luck whatsoever: *tiredly* The next egg will be it, I just know it. Just don’t give up, Jauney. Any minute now I’ll get me a shiny—

Pyrrha, who literally just bought the game because she noticed Jaune playing it for days and wanted to see what all the fuss is about: Hmm, that’s strange, my starter is a different color than what it shows on the game’s box. Is this a glitch?

Jaune:...........*drops his switch* I’m going to bed.

The Odyssey literally broke the minds of chuds everywhere. They actually can't comprehend that most people didn't care about the backlash it was receiving and went to watch a movie from one of the most successful directors of our time. The amount of goalpost moving and copes I've seen from them has actually been hilarious.

These people went so hard on how the movie was going to flop and how nobody cares about this "woke abomination" and when they were proven wrong they couldn't comprehend it. They can't believe they were in an echo chamber and normal people didn't care about the dumb shit they were saying.

I didn't care about this movie but seeing people cry and piss themselves because people actually watched the movie is hilarious to me.

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

The Odyssey literally broke the minds of chuds everywhere. They actually can't comprehend that most people didn't care about the backlash it was receiving and went to watch a movie from one of the most successful directors of our time. The amount of goalpost moving and copes I've seen from them has actually been hilarious.

Flock Cameras defenders would watch an American revolution movie and be like "erm, you know dumping tea in the harbor is illegal, right?"

The funniest thing that can happen to prove that digital only games are horrible is if the PlayStation network gets hacked again the day GTA 6 comes out.

The amount of backlash Sony/Rockstar would get if someone actually hacks their network right before GTA 6 comes out would be legendary. The biggest game of the century and more than half of the players can't play it because it is digital only. This would be the biggest wake up call on why digital only games are a horrible idea.

I still don't know if the "Daniel was the real bully" theory from Karate kid is satire or not since there seem to be people who actually believe this. Because if they're being serious then did they even watch the movie?

Johnny went to the beach

Johnny harassed his ex girlfriend

Ex girlfriend told him she doesn't want to talk to him

Johnny refuses to take no for an answer

Johnny starts trying to break her stuff

Daniel steps in to defuse the situation

Johnny starts a fight with Daniel and kicks his ass

Also a reminder that at the end Johnny was pressured into trying to cripple Daniel.

pyrrha

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

The funniest thing that can happen to prove that digital only games are horrible is if the PlayStation network gets hacked again the day GTA 6 comes out.

Turn base combat games: This move blind enemies so they will miss their shots a lot.

Player: Does it work against bosses?

Turn base combat games: Fuck you.

I feel like most games just have bosses be immune to most status effects. Sleep is almost always the worst status effect in games because of this.

Sleep is absolutely the worst one because even if the boss can be put to sleep it would more than likely wake up the second you hit it.

Turn base combat games: This move blind enemies so they will miss their shots a lot.

Player: Does it work against bosses?

Turn base combat games: Fuck you.

It's pretty insane how MAGA are crying about Mamdani and how America forgot about 9/11 while ignoring that Trump is in the middle of a nuclear deal with Saudi Arabia.

Villain, in the body of one of the hero's friends: Now how are you planning defeat me? Surely you won't hurt your-

Hero: Why do you sound like that?

Villain: What?

Hero: Why do not sound like my friend?

Villain: Because I'm not your friend. Were you even paying attention?

Hero: Yeah but you just changed bodies with him, not vocal cords or anything like that. How does the voice sound just like yours?

Villain:.......

Hero:: Are you like... actively trying to mimic your own voice while in my friend's body?

(ALTERNATIVE)

Villain, in the body of the hero's friend: How are you planning to defeat me-

Hero: Why are you British?

Villain: Pardon?

Hero: Your accent. It's British. Why?

Villain: Because I'm in the body of your friend who is British.

Hero: Yeah, but you yourself aren't British and having a British accent is something you get by being raised by British people, not something a body becomes.

Villain:........

Hero: Like if I took a baby from Britain and raised him in America then he wouldn't have a british accent or anything.

Villain:........

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

Villain, in the body of one of the hero's friends: Now how are you planning defeat me? Surely you won't hurt your-

Hero: Why do you sound like that?

Villain: What?

Hero: Why do not sound like my friend?

Villain: Because I'm not your friend. Were you even paying attention?

Hero: Yeah but you just changed bodies with him, not vocal cords or anything like that. How does the voice sound just like yours?

Villain:.......

Hero:: Are you like... actively trying to mimic your own voice while in my friend's body?

I really miss the old og Xbox trash talk that the original Resident Evil 4 had. Randomly throughout the game a villain will call Leon up on the radio and they proceed to just shut talk each other for the entire call. Leon will actually stop trying to make progress just so he can shit talk the enemy. It was beautiful.

I really miss that and wish they kept that in.

Ashley: Leon, we don’t have time for this! We need to leave!

Leon, pulling out ringing radio: Hold on, Ashley. This little bitch wants to yap at me again!

I'm Moist and Ready @moistmailman - Tumblr Blog | Tumlook