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#saruman's big artificials vs. gandalf's big naturals

i think the world would be a happier place if we were all permanently stoned

the lottery by shirley jackson

hold on i have to read something real quick

dude

my love language is the same as a crow. if you’re nice to me i’ll bring you useless little trinkets from my travels that made me think of you

This is not an exaggeration.  Your download speed would slow down to the point where Windows would make this kind of absurd estimate, and you’d sigh and leave the room for a while (because you couldn’t use the computer while it was doing this for fear it would crash and lose all your progress) and then you’d come back in 40 minutes and maybe it would now say 52 years or maybe it would say 3 minutes, who knew, not Windows.

No one seems to be acknowledging the far funnier element of this, which is, that when you go to the commenter’s account, you find out they are actually fucking roleplaying as a sexually repressed skeleton and jjst really committed to the bit while everyone in the reblogs is talking about how much they hate minors or whatever. thank you kharak the skeleton servant of the almighty lich king

if i had to explain what tumblr is like i’d only show this

Oh, so when YOU grab a Danish for a quick snack, it's a guilt-free, tasty little treat. But when I, Grendel,

“Do NOT tell the world about this” 200,000 notes

400k notes

I cannot get this poem out of my head. It haunts me. Joyously, it haunts me. 

This poem format is my favorite thing and this is the first time I’ve ever seen it’s origin story. I love it. Every time.

THE SACRED TEXTS!

I forgot the context! It’s beautiful!

I cannot get this poem out of my head. It haunts me. Joyously, it haunts me. 

This poem format is my favorite thing and this is the first time I’ve ever seen it’s origin story. I love it. Every time.

THE SACRED TEXTS!

I forgot the context! It’s beautiful!