I Am The Eldritch Blaster

this is gumi important big news

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real

☝️babbit

what is a babbit if not a fast snail with bones

hair?

common misconception. a babbit and a hair are actually two different animals

if you love someone enough you should be able to hug them really tight and pop into the same body as them and never have to leave like its aristophanes's myth of the spherical human

post cancelled i just reinvented steven universe

@yossyislandd

like many people have said this better than me but no it IS odd that we've come to think of potatoes as so quintessentially european that their presence in historical fantasy where they're anachronistic doesn't jar. and yes people are trying to have the trappings of post-colonial europe without engaging w the icky colonialism part and yes people are neglecting to imagine what a european cuisine without potatoes would be like.

im fully in favour of 'let people have fun w their fantasy world' but is considering how the potatoes got there in the absence of colonialism not a fun exercise? maybe every year the dragon riders go on a great transatlantic potato pilgrimage

one in ten of my posts is reblogged with the tag "boob!egg" fyi

i have to admit, it does make me contemplate the latent eroticism of art pieces that i would not have considered erotic without the label

So just to be clear for the historical record, my liege, we are one hundred percent sure that this apparently unremarkable farm boy is the hero chosen by the gods to beat back the darkness?

Of course it's not that I could ever doubt your judgment, my liege, but the qualifications by which he has established himself do seem somewhat opaque to those of us without direct insight to the will of the divine.

No my liege I do not deny that he has a certain aesthetic appeal. A solid nine out of ten, as you say. Perhaps a ten if he were more acquainted with the concept of personal grooming?

One does wonder, however, if there are not other qualifications that might be more pressing for the specific post of being the hero who will beat back the darkness.

My liege of course is very wise, indeed none could argue that the tools of violence are not frequently overstated in their importance. Given how little we know about the shape the coming scourge is to take, who could say what skills would be required to defeat it? Might not a scholar or physician or even a particularly inspiring poet win us the day, in the end? Most wise, most insightful.

It's just that this particular farm boy doesn't even seem to actually know all that much about farming, my liege?

No no of course that's not relevant, quite correct, your wisdom remains unassailable. What would farming have to do with saving the world indeed!

So we are going with the farm boy. For sure then. No, no, of course my liege this humble servant would not dream of gainsaying your choice.

Pardon me, my liege, but I must go and ponder my orb for a while. There are some dark murmurings I was previously ignoring that suddenly sound a lot more sensible.

i think the crux of human misery stems from the fact that our skeleton just wants to sit around and accumulate dust in an ancient barrow (that is the innate imperative of all skeletal remains in-case you didn’t know) but our meat has its own agenda which creates this fundamental conflict of interests