I Am The Eldritch Blaster

turns you into a caterpillar but like lowkey an ugly one

no such thing

well there wasn't until i turned you into one with my ugly powers

*metamorphs into a better looking caterpillar*

Hiii Jorb ❤️

turns you into a caterpillar but like lowkey an ugly one

no such thing

ngl kinda hate that "this has been discussed extensively you're just 21" tweet cos it was directed at a trans woman who was getting dogpiled for saying that the "dangerous man in a dress" horror trope is shitty

she was born in 2005, the right wing culture war against trans people has been going on for half her life, if she independently arrives at a correct take then how is that something worth mocking?? you got flowers sprouting through concrete, water them dumbass

we should turn all theme parks into giant pools of poison acid that kills anyone who gets too close

the phrase "but i didn't mean to!" in the context of causing harm is kind of redundant to me, because almost nobody means to cause harm. most of us just want to do the right thing. and i don't mean that in a wishy-washy "oh, we're all good deep down" way, i mean that even people who regularly do the most heinous shit imaginable will have a way of justifying it to themselves. the world is not populated by hollywood sadists and psychopaths.

we should turn all theme parks into giant pools of poison acid that kills anyone who gets too close

some sw fans argue that luke skywalker caring so deeply about his father is unrealistic after everything darth vader did. this is because some of you don’t have friends. person who defends their dad from judgement over trying to smother them as a baby + a slew of homicides because he “went through a lot when he was younger” and is “A Pretty Good Guy Once You Get To Know Him” is actually an extremely common type of person to encounter irl

remember when websites were written on purpose, and not generated by autocomplete in the instant you run the web search? anyway, unrelated, this webpage purporting to relay expert knowledge on which plants are safe for my snake's tank just told me I would know if he was biting them and getting irritated because he would start pawing at his mouth.

if i had a time machine i would be sampling the flavors of various extinct fruits and plants and animals. could you imagine

i would be recording extinct soft bodied organisms who don't fossilize well

my promising gardening career was cut short when i was mauled by a rampaging basil plant

you can use this handy mnemonic to remember the planets of the solar system

mercury penus gearth cars wupiter caturn shuranus weptune iluto wluto mluto bluto aluto rluto bluto pluto

Lets dissect uncle to find his wish gland

Where do you think the comma goes

lets dissect uncle to find his wish, gland. 😼