I Am The Eldritch Blaster

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Ouuhh I see the water it’s right there on the post,, I’m so thirsty ouyghhhhhw just one sip for me ooouuuuuu

i've always wanted to experience what it's like inside a pinball machine

you get nudged a lot

imagine being the only koopa in the troop named shooting star spiff and everyone else is just named koopa troopa. i would be so embarrassed

beuatiful women in your area want to teach you the true meaning of friendship!!

cool women in your area want to teach you how to pummel people to death

People are unfazed if you hate women but if you dislike dogs they assume you're a bad person

Tumblr users will read a post complaining about normalized misogyny and hyperfocus on your claim that it's ok to dislike dogs

my mutuals are obsessed with bullying me

thatsright

LITERALLY MEAN TO ME

sorry to everyone out there who thinks they have the funniest tshirt but i think i can confidently say i just saw the actual funniest tshirt just now. i passed by a beautiful black woman with long multicolor braids blowing majestically in the beach breeze & she was wearing an oversized tshirt that said in gigantic letters "WHITE BOY OF THE YEAR"

i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is

I hate that when you’re stressed enough your body just starts falling apart. I think it should realize you’re already stressed and don’t need that and start functioning better actually

image: reply. "when ur stressed ur body should grow wings and red glowing eyes and a tail and you should get a magic demon sword". end ID.

I hate that when you’re stressed enough your body just starts falling apart. I think it should realize you’re already stressed and don’t need that and start functioning better actually

idk i would personally rather give up access to certain products seasonally or locally than have people enslaved to give me the ability to have any product any place any time. i think i can go without tomatoes in january.

i truly do think that most people if confronted with it and pressed on it would agree. but it's comfortable to gain privileges from someone else's suffering, especially if you don't have to see that suffering directly.

thank u everyone who is mentioning preservation methods like canning and pickling, but i fear you are missing the point of the post a little bit

something I really enjoy is that I've now seen like 4 or 5 variations of roughly this same video, all slightly different in their angles and timing while obviously being the exact same bunny and room, implying that this is a consistent and frequent behavior for this bunny instead of just a funny thing it did once that got caught on camera. I wish I could have as much raw unfiltered enthusiasm for anything as this little rabbit has for its dinnertime

i want to have a pet carp but like on land and it's like a dog. it looks exactly the same as a regular carp but it can walk on land and breathe air and has no complications from being out of water but also it can swim too. i would tie a big pink ribbon around it

would a tiktaalik function as a compromise