I Am The Eldritch Blaster

sorry to everyone out there who thinks they have the funniest tshirt but i think i can confidently say i just saw the actual funniest tshirt just now. i passed by a beautiful black woman with long multicolor braids blowing majestically in the beach breeze & she was wearing an oversized tshirt that said in gigantic letters "WHITE BOY OF THE YEAR"

i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is

I hate that when you’re stressed enough your body just starts falling apart. I think it should realize you’re already stressed and don’t need that and start functioning better actually

image: reply. "when ur stressed ur body should grow wings and red glowing eyes and a tail and you should get a magic demon sword". end ID.

I hate that when you’re stressed enough your body just starts falling apart. I think it should realize you’re already stressed and don’t need that and start functioning better actually

idk i would personally rather give up access to certain products seasonally or locally than have people enslaved to give me the ability to have any product any place any time. i think i can go without tomatoes in january.

i truly do think that most people if confronted with it and pressed on it would agree. but it's comfortable to gain privileges from someone else's suffering, especially if you don't have to see that suffering directly.

thank u everyone who is mentioning preservation methods like canning and pickling, but i fear you are missing the point of the post a little bit

something I really enjoy is that I've now seen like 4 or 5 variations of roughly this same video, all slightly different in their angles and timing while obviously being the exact same bunny and room, implying that this is a consistent and frequent behavior for this bunny instead of just a funny thing it did once that got caught on camera. I wish I could have as much raw unfiltered enthusiasm for anything as this little rabbit has for its dinnertime

i want to have a pet carp but like on land and it's like a dog. it looks exactly the same as a regular carp but it can walk on land and breathe air and has no complications from being out of water but also it can swim too. i would tie a big pink ribbon around it

would a tiktaalik function as a compromise

psa: dont eat dirt

wormophobic

i have friends who are worms

and you wont let them eat dirt?

My brand new Portal AU where its just five hours of a 45 year old tech CEO yelling at her desktop because it won't run her programs

the funniest and most tragic moment in steven universe is the scene that implies that Pearl pulls bitches like a professional dog walker but doesn't know how phones work so her place on earth is being a life-changing futch fling for every dyke on the east coast there's probably a gay bar in maryland where they talk about the twiggy bird chick that eats milf pussy like it's the last edible thing on earth and they dont even know about the city full of thousand year old neon lesbian amazons who are pent up 24/7 from The War and leaving room for jesus cause they're always hanging out with their softboy nephew who might be the second coming of christ

In a single sentence, no less.

"this website talks too much about trans women who get banned" is such a funny accusation because literally who else is talking about trans women getting banned on here aside from the trans women themselves

The fact that it's still happening means that people are not talking "too much" about it

I've seen some posts trying to make fun of former gifted kids by comparing them to former student athletes who insist that they could have gone pro if not for a specific injury, and those posts always backfire, because my reaction to them is "You're right, we should treat former student athletes with more compassion than we currently do"

What would you do if you were scrolling through recommended tumblr posts and one was from someone you don't know and it was just a picture of your dad captioned "fucking hate this guy" and it had hundreds of notes

reblog it