I Am The Eldritch Blaster

@yossyislandd

like many people have said this better than me but no it IS odd that we've come to think of potatoes as so quintessentially european that their presence in historical fantasy where they're anachronistic doesn't jar. and yes people are trying to have the trappings of post-colonial europe without engaging w the icky colonialism part and yes people are neglecting to imagine what a european cuisine without potatoes would be like.

im fully in favour of 'let people have fun w their fantasy world' but is considering how the potatoes got there in the absence of colonialism not a fun exercise? maybe every year the dragon riders go on a great transatlantic potato pilgrimage

one in ten of my posts is reblogged with the tag "boob!egg" fyi

i have to admit, it does make me contemplate the latent eroticism of art pieces that i would not have considered erotic without the label

So just to be clear for the historical record, my liege, we are one hundred percent sure that this apparently unremarkable farm boy is the hero chosen by the gods to beat back the darkness?

Of course it's not that I could ever doubt your judgment, my liege, but the qualifications by which he has established himself do seem somewhat opaque to those of us without direct insight to the will of the divine.

No my liege I do not deny that he has a certain aesthetic appeal. A solid nine out of ten, as you say. Perhaps a ten if he were more acquainted with the concept of personal grooming?

One does wonder, however, if there are not other qualifications that might be more pressing for the specific post of being the hero who will beat back the darkness.

My liege of course is very wise, indeed none could argue that the tools of violence are not frequently overstated in their importance. Given how little we know about the shape the coming scourge is to take, who could say what skills would be required to defeat it? Might not a scholar or physician or even a particularly inspiring poet win us the day, in the end? Most wise, most insightful.

It's just that this particular farm boy doesn't even seem to actually know all that much about farming, my liege?

No no of course that's not relevant, quite correct, your wisdom remains unassailable. What would farming have to do with saving the world indeed!

So we are going with the farm boy. For sure then. No, no, of course my liege this humble servant would not dream of gainsaying your choice.

Pardon me, my liege, but I must go and ponder my orb for a while. There are some dark murmurings I was previously ignoring that suddenly sound a lot more sensible.

i think the crux of human misery stems from the fact that our skeleton just wants to sit around and accumulate dust in an ancient barrow (that is the innate imperative of all skeletal remains in-case you didn’t know) but our meat has its own agenda which creates this fundamental conflict of interests

ngl the most important thing i was taught growing up was that its not enough to just be anti racist but to also be pro black

hating racists is good ! but if youre only hating the oppressor and not uplifting the oppressed all you are doing is using a performative method to direct your anger at. being angry is good, but its not enough. you have to love too. uplift the ones that should be uplifted. celebrate black art and culture and people. celebrate blackness for the beauty it is

turns you into a caterpillar but like lowkey an ugly one

no such thing

well there wasn't until i turned you into one with my ugly powers

*metamorphs into a better looking caterpillar*

Hiii Jorb ❤️

turns you into a caterpillar but like lowkey an ugly one

no such thing

ngl kinda hate that "this has been discussed extensively you're just 21" tweet cos it was directed at a trans woman who was getting dogpiled for saying that the "dangerous man in a dress" horror trope is shitty

she was born in 2005, the right wing culture war against trans people has been going on for half her life, if she independently arrives at a correct take then how is that something worth mocking?? you got flowers sprouting through concrete, water them dumbass

we should turn all theme parks into giant pools of poison acid that kills anyone who gets too close

the phrase "but i didn't mean to!" in the context of causing harm is kind of redundant to me, because almost nobody means to cause harm. most of us just want to do the right thing. and i don't mean that in a wishy-washy "oh, we're all good deep down" way, i mean that even people who regularly do the most heinous shit imaginable will have a way of justifying it to themselves. the world is not populated by hollywood sadists and psychopaths.