amazing blog @the-emerald-river - Tumblr Blog

I AM ALIVE!!!!!!!!! I'M LITERALLY A WOMAN AND I AM ALIVE!!!!

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luna-azzurra

A non-writer asked me "but where do you get your ideas" and i genuinely did not know how to explain that it's not a place. it's not a website. it's not a folder. it's that i was on the bus and a woman was holding a paper bag very carefully and something about the way she held it made me need to know what was inside and then i needed to know why she was sad about it and then there was a whole person and then there was a whole story and the bus had already stopped and i missed my stop. that's where.

cameoappearance

Strange women on buses distributing ideas is no basis for a system of artistic motivation

girlballs-archive

Fat bitches frotting

girlballs-archive

sposnored by thee fucking frito lay corporation

im-mender

because fat bitches are Fri to Lay down and frot with me

cryptotheism

I think someone just shot Charlie Kirk

dragongirlsweetie

can we not spread rumours before the facts have been settled please

cryptotheism

Sorry

charl0ttan

i think nobody just stabbed polyphemus

the-emerald-river

archduke ferdinand of austria is alive and well. don't trust the haters

batmanisagatewaydrug

always some new bullshit in the ocean

local-demon-in-your-area

Why is it always orcas or dolphins

Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once

batmanisagatewaydrug

worry not ☝️ they're doing coke

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friccahacked

fuck it. kafcake

wagyubeefs

“the fandom has decided - ” “everyone agrees that - ” “we all know that this is the only right way to - ”

#moses IS autistic and i won't hear it any other way

fluffysheeple

christian bad driver: my guardian angel watches over me, I don't need to look before I merge

atheist bad driver: I will rely on my own skill to see myself safely home after a mere 8 drinks

agnostic bad driver: no one knows where all these dents and scratches came from

whumpster-fire

hindu bad driver: yes I totally cut them off but have you considered the possibility that they were a douchebag in a past life so they deserve it?

buddhist bad driver: stop getting mad you are too attached to material things (your car that I rear ended)

jewish bad driver: according to this highly controversial interpretation of the melachot which five separate rabbis have told me is completely stupid, driving during Shabbat is fine as long as you ask your non jewish neighbor to turn the car on because then the engine is already on. However, using turn signals is prohibited and you can't turn headlights on or off which is why I just leave my high-beams on at all times

muslim bad driver: muslims are never required to yield the right of way to non muslims

neopagan bad driver: if we follow the teachings of the Great Earth Mother, traffic is like a flowing river. Turbulence and disorder are part of nature. "Lanes" are a product of a Christian society obsessed with rigid status and social control. You gotta just go with the flow, man. (jerks wheel and sends 2004 Subaru Outback with COEXIST bumper sticker and Etsy Dreamcatcher hanging from the rear view mirror careening across 3 lanes of traffic to make an exit)

satanist bad driver: much as great Lucifer defied god's oppressive vision of rigid order and obedience, I am treating this "stop" sign as a suggestion

pastafarian bad driver: this interchange is a sacred place. the convoluted mess of twisted, tangled ramps reflects the form of His divine noodley appendages. When I enter it I must meditate on the interchange and lose all awareness of surrounding cars.

amish bad driver: I don't need to pay attention to the road, my horses know the way home (is currently in the oncoming lane and has just run over a toddler because a leaf fell 200 yards away and spooked the horses)

cthulhu cultist bad driver: human "traffic laws" are insignificant and meaningless in the face of a bleak and uncaring universe. Ia, ia, Cthulhu fhtagn!

animentality

alfgifu

this reads like it was submitted to a local newspaper in the early 1900s

devilishdescent

hey dawg im not sure that your fashion tag should be #fash

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personsonable-deactivated201908

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

2colde

#the close friend who became fascist 👍#i couldn't save him.

jbt7493

has anyone noticed that sometimes you take incorrect or undesirable actions instead of the correct and desirable ones? what's up with that

couchnapping

flaccid penis... it's chic, it's hip, it's the next big thing

couchnapping

it's the next thing

crazysodomite

guy who only experienced torture: this reminds me of the torture i went through

guy who only experienced torture: i don't like this because it's too unlike the torture

guy who only experienced torture: i'm afraid of not being tortured

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

dickstolebyanalien

tranny needy drinky

kosmogrl

Dont blame yourself for not having known a lesson only time could teach

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