⛧ Death Note ⛧

This is how we look bodily, except we don't have our wheelchair yet! Our parents are ableist and claim we don't need one even though we have chronic pain.

We are collectively an intersex, trans, alterhuman, bisexual, emo, psychotic, machiavellian, narcissistic, psychopathic irl yandere.

We also are pro Health At Every Size and are a fat activist. We won't give specific numbers since we are recovering from an ed, but we are on the smaller end of superfat on the fatness spectrum.

Frequent Fronters

Blaze (He/They/It)

Tomie (She/They/Spiral)

Ayano (She/They/Love)

Misa (She/They/Shinagami)

Foxy (He/Ship/Gold)

Dylan/Vodka (He/Him)

Alastor (He/It)

Angel Dust (all pronouns)

Gloomy Bear (It/Its)

Yuri (She/Her)

Sayori (She/Her)

Toby (He/Tic/Blood)

We only just caught this, but feel free to inform us if it happens again. Thanks.

I have a family friend who worked at our local Salvation Army headquarters as a a secretary. This particular office took all the Christmas donations for children in need, put them in a warehouse, and on a designated day the staff and their friends picked through them all, taking whatever they wanted. She saw people hauling away bikes donated for specific families. Some local children had hundreds of dollars of gifts donated in their name, and on Christmas they received three cheap things, items likely not even from the person who sponsored them.

My friend quit, and I’ve not given them a dime of my money since then.

I’m a wildfire and disaster logistics specialist.

I deal with a lot of agencies who provide disaster relief.

I used to say the Salvation Army’s disaster services were the one (literally the ONE) good thing they did.

They would come in, set up a canteen trailer, make and pass out hot coffee and donated food in a disaster, usually being one of the first agencies to get there and the last to leave.

Then I found out.

Every time they did this, regardless of if they were actually invited or deployed by the agency in charge (usually FEMA, sometimes others) they would SELF-DEPLOY. Meanjng they would just show up. Ok. That’s not TOO bad, sometimes agencies have to take initiative and get there before the red tape is sorted out. BUT. They, after they left at the end of the incident, they would send FEMA or the host agency a BILL. They used one or two paid employees (usually the driver of the truck and a supervisor); and many VOLUNTEERS, but they would bill for EVERYONE’s Labor at standard federal rates. They would bill for the food they distributed even though it was all donated by another agency or private parties. They would bill for the coffee they made and the supplies. Except they would use electricity from the shelter location, water from donations or from the shelter, and in many cases, they would get the coffee and industrial filters DONATED, but bill for them at retail prices.

Salvation Army reached out to Milknmuffins and asked what shelter she’s at with the promise to address the abuse in it. She…ended up saying where she was. She was thrown out onto the street. It’s also all on Twitter.

They invited her to a personal talk so she could explain the situation in person.

And then they threatened her with a screenshot of a rape-threat made supposedly by her:

And then threw her out into the street while claiming she broke house rules that

"but but! some ramcoa survivors agree with me and are uncomfortable with x!"

sorry? I don't recall the world revolving around me just bc my dad waterboarded and raped me with his friends. I don't recall the meeting where we agreed ramcoa survivors solely claim number or card names. I don't really remember when we agreed ramcoa survivors were some matyr pillar of what experiences people are allowed to have.

focus more on yourself. sure, I get really really heated when people misconstru and water down words like tbmc and ramcoa, but I don't walk around saying only ramcoa survivors can have animal alters bc my ramcoa resulted in them.

you don't get to police people just because you think your trauma is worse than theirs. stop playing trauma Olympics, bc that's what you're doing. you're saying since your trauma was "worse" and a type of abuse you get to police literal names.

you don't. sorry to break this to you. you're just a survivor like everyone else. you are not more or less valid than someone who wasn't tortured, trafficked, raped, etc. etc. etc. just because it was done in an organized manner doesn't mean you're more important than everyone else who was abused.

They have experienced horrors that we can barely comprehend when they were CHILDREN, sometimes INFANTS. They are trying to find community by labeling their unique experiences that are objectively more complex than many others. So many non-RAMCOA systems are butthurt over HC-DID systems calling themselves “highly complex”, seemingly just because it “invalidates other’s trauma”.

Trauma experiences that are more severe than yours will always exist, and the survivors of those experiences will always speak out about them. By claiming that these people are “playing trauma olympics” by simply speaking out about and labeling their stories, we are actively silencing survivors of severe abuse. Acknowledging that some experiences are more complex than others is not inherently downplaying the validity of the less complex experiences.

Because the nature of RAMCOA survivor’s experiences is near impossible to grasp for us non-survivors, we need to understand that we are stepping out of our lane by trying to involve ourselves in the conversations about RAMCOA exclusive labels. It’s perfectly acceptable for systems to ask non-systems to not get involved in system discourse, and the response should be the same for programmed systems asking non-programmed systems to not get involved in RAMCOA discourse.

You aren't evil because of what they made you do. You aren't bad because you were made to do harm. You aren't irredeemable because of the things forced on you, even if that means someone else got hurt in the process. That harm is on the shoulders of the people that forced you to do those things, not you.

Forced perpetration doesn't make you a monster. It doesn't change anything about your worth. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. It's just another way to hurt you and convince you it was your own fault. It means absolutely nothing about who you are as a person.

You aren't bad even if part of you decided you enjoyed hurting people, you cope any way you can in a situation like that, there's nothing wrong with how you made it out alive.

I never wanted to go through horrific abuse to become a system. I never wanted to be programmed to be a system. I never wanted any of that. I wanted a happy and fulfilling childhood, but I didn't have that privilege. I never did.

My system is how I survived. It's how I was able to cope and actually live and breathe. I'd be dead without my system. Do I hate how we formed? Of course, I do. Do I hate my system? Not even in my dreams.