Titles are a myth

Some context of the session: The party was trying to reach the estate of Count Los Feratu (Not actually a vampire despite what the name suggests, he's literally D&D Live action Gomez Addams) but first they have to cross The Lawn. To borrow from the late great comedian John Pinette when describing the castle lawn of Windsor Castle in England:

So the entire session was the party going through various non-lethal traps, skill challenges, and encounters. There were open grave pit-traps, grabby skeleton hands out of the ground, a troll construction worker yelling at them that the bridge is out of order, and a Hedge maze complete with a Minotaur Gardener they passed on the way out.

Now I had been intending to use these sphinxes for a while and was happy I could work them into this adventure. They would be the final obstacle before the party reached the house and the session would end. However at the last second I realized I hadn't picked names for them! So I borrowed the names of a mother/daughter duo from a She-Ra fanfiction I'm currently obsessed with. So the Mama is now Kitt and the Baby is Isha.

I will quote parts of the Discord chat directly.

There seems to only be one more gate between you and the main house. You just need to go past that large catlike statute and you'll be at the front door. ...Wait a second. Statues don't usually breathe do they. Kobold Wizard: "NNNOPE!"

From there I basically added the panels into the chat one at a time. At the reveal of shy baby sphinx Isha, the players were delighted and the characters immediately decided that 1. She was adorable, and 2. they were going to encourage the little darling to ask her riddle and hype her up as much as possible.

Paladin: "Good riddle, little one." Leonine Barbarian: “A dastardly clever one. We were lucky.” Isha perks up. "I did it Mama!" Kitt smiles at her daughter. "Yes you did. Now let's let the nice people pass."

my mom is in fact aware that dandelions exist. she temporarily forgot the name and there was some miscommunication.

the truth is actually weirder

she’s aware dandelions look like this

she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions

she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?

gosh I enjoy this website

Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.

So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.

But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.

It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?

So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:

Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.

And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. 🎉.

So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".

So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.

My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.

Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.

Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.

Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).

Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues

According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.

Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.

For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.

Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life

Aaand a close-up:

HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE

Gotten the Song of the Architects!

Huzzah!

Things I have not done in Silksong yet:

Unlocked whatever power lets me double-jump.

Likely why I succeeded in this task true to my One Mask Master soul.

Harrowing. Especially when the Fractured Mask stays on unless absolutely necessary. Especially especially when you realize you have to go back the way you came to get out of this cursed tower.

On the plus side, I grew up as much in the White Palace as I did Deepnest, so I do have a decent amount of familiarity in navigating such environments.

...

(My dad's buzz saw maze is better. At least it's actually meant to be that dangerous, as opposed to this OSHA nightmare.)

I've also gotten access to what I need to do to gain the Conductors' Melody.

It's going... well.

Okay-ish.

...

Who wants to see my bedroom!??! I put fairy lights up, because I'm an adult bug and it's my room and I can do what I want!

me when my metroidvania journey is a little more revenge-pilled than usual

did you know that having an ahoge in the epithet universe doubles your chances of having perpetually spiked cortisol? (except mera, hers is there in spirit)

they've had to face settlements against stealing from current authors, so they'll just go for the old books now. they're also doing this so they have the only copies of rare books.

I read somewhere that the Library of Alexandria wasn't just lost to a single devastating fire, but went through many stages of neglect before anyone mourned it's loss.

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