Just a lil snail guy

normalize being dogshit amateur at your special interests and hyperfocuses. no more autistic savants. yes i am very into that topic no i am not good at it. we exist <3

come on😀mention my favourite character😀i am well adjusted😀and will act very normal😀i assure you😀

attention acolytes! in order to maximize shareholder value, i will be turning all of you into gold statues, frozen in twisted spasms of pain for all eternity, in a great and lifeless mausoleum. we expect to eke out a marginal gain in Q3

And how does this increase shareholder value O Great and Powerful Dark One?

Obviously we can add the statues to our assets while also cutting down on employee expenses.

I see! This sounds like a sustainable business practice and I have no further questions.

yes! im so good at Company

Bad news boss... Some fella called Midas just rang about copyright?

i'm having a bad day. someone is going to die today (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) and it's not going to be me. (gets scared someone will report me to the police) people around the world die of natural causes every day. (remembers i want people to think i'm smart) and i know who it's going to be (remembers i want to retain an air of mystery) but i'm not telling.

dont talk to me or my clone or my shadow self or my reflection or my me ever again

why r apps asking for pin codes u r NOT that important

"2 step verification" i can delete u in 5 seconds