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Ambush hunters

Part 3 of the comic

||Part 2 ||

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quasi-normalcy

The following two statements are both true:

Star Trek has always been woke

Star Trek has always been corporate

quasi-normalcy

Star Trek has always been internationalist

Star Trek has always been American

quasi-normalcy

Star Trek has mostly been utopian

Star Trek has mostly been written by middle-class white heterosexual men

nocek

I love the headcanons of everybody on earth reaction to the beetles. but please imagine like 100 years down the line some random school kid being forced to do history (because that teacher managed to get to the topic first) homework on the whole thing.

like the regular kid enthusiasm of yeah that Grace guy met an alien, cleaned the sun blah blah blah. Eridians are regular visitors on Earth and it's boooooooooring.

and then the kid opens Wikipedia and that asshole is all over the thing. no easy essay of important person invented important thing that is so important that I have to write some bullshit on it. nope.

guy pops up all over the history section. yeah sure. diplomacy? wait wasn't he an astronaut. biology? what? oh he had PhD in something biology. oh he named astophage "astophage"! is that the end of an essay? oh no it continues. xenobiology, xenolinguistics, all the space exploration and, oh, a first contact! are we done yet? no. fuck. wait, metallurgy???? wtf is this dude doing in the metallurgy section. wasn't he a biologist?

and then some kids would get a little bit into it and read through early life section to find oh he got kicked out of his field for being a weirdo alien guy. oh that's a great story! with the hard work and the incredible strength of the will he proved everybody wrong!

no wait

he was just some scrungly guy that got dragged kicking and screaming into this whole bs just to pull the most lock tf in in the history of locking tf in

wtf?!

and then they dig deep enough to find the video logs

so every year. without missing the beat, few kids get totally obsessed.

smokey-ilya

one day yuna’s gonna land ilya a mcdonald’s sponsorship and ilya’s gonna make shane stop at the drive thru on their way to practice and make him order so ilya can hear thee shane hollander requesting The Rozanov™️ which is two bacon, egg, and cheese mcgriddles with a large black coffee and then they’ll take a selfie with the person at the counter who is stunned two hockey gods just rolled through at 8am on a random tuesday

needyilyarights

They make these exact faces in the selfie

smokey-ilya

shane only got a coffee 😔

algae-illustrations

Grace, hurry up!!

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grabmyboner

cliff marleau is so multifaceted on tumblr dot com what can’t he do

barbie-verse

heated rivalry twitter (36/?) someone asked for lily's reaction to baby's first glove throw

madeofklay

What I learned not to do in art school

suraks-sweet-tits

Ilya Hollander-Rozanov bringing back the wealthy being patrons of the arts when he discovers he can use his millions to get people to paint big ass oil paintings of his husband

florientius

alternatively: shane comes out to his parents. no mention of boyfriend. so best momager and agent of all time yuna hollander asks around, does some sleuthing, goes undercover online and surveys the land for the most successful queer hockey player other than her son. imagine her surprise when she discovers from multiple sources that ilya rozanov might be gay. she arranges ads and promotions and sponsors for shane and ilya to do jointly. she hopes they hit it off and get together - only the best for her baby ofc - and she not so subtly asks after ilya from shane when they have a joint thing or an event where they meet. she is hoping, manifesting, praying and buying spells on etsy to have the two best hockey players in her family.

meanwhile every time shane and ilya meet up they fuck nasty, and ofc shane does not understand why his mom suddenly become a bears fan...

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currishfoolborngudgeon

I really do love that we've collectively decided that Adrian is the Eridian equivalent of Jessica Rabbit. They're so super hot and everyone is trying to court them while Rocky is away, especially now that it's been like ~50 years, but they just won't because no one could brighten their day like Rocky, and if Rocky doesn't come back, the sun might as well die.

gaynehollander

The Centaurs do a video of them getting an extreme deep tissue massage, because Harris thinks the fans will get a good laugh out of them being in pain and eventually wimping out (and he's right, the video does numbers).

Shane Hollander, however, does not have that reaction. He tries to stay silent as much as he can but he can't help the occasional moan, whimper, or gasp that's pulled from him. He's entirely relaxed on the table, not pulling away, not tensing, just letting it happen, his brows a little scrunched up. He's the only Centaur who doesn't call an end to the massage. What brings his time on the table to an end is Ilya striding up to him, red-faced and flustered, saying, "okay, enough, you're done."

Most of his footage is unusable.

twocloudsinthesky

And someday a centaur makes an off handed joke about it bc he forgot the press was there and every single fan ever is salivating. For months they can barely interact with their comments bc every other comment is drowned out by thousands of "RELEASE IT PLEASEEE". This is Ilya's own personal hell

perotovar

shane hollander appreciation week: day five favorite relationship: familial -> his relationship with his dad, david ♥

HEATED RIVALRY (2025-) dir. Jacob Tierney

boringkate

You listen to music regularly? Why? Have you even tried quitting? Could you quit? You get music stuck in your head? Wow. You're so ruined and music brained. I bet you make your partners listen to music with you when you have sex. Music addiction has really ruined a whole generation. You know it's not realistic to expect reverb in real life, right? You're probably so desensitized that you don't even feel anything anymore when you hear a bird singing that it wants some fuck.

paradigm-adrift

I don't have a problem with people listening to music per se, but I do have a problem with the music industry exploiting & mistreating artists.

Personally, I abstain from all music in order to keep my hands clean but really music should just be illegal outright to protect musicians from abuse.

terramythos

holy shit this person in the notes

discodyke-dogthing

russianblush

the 9 inches: before & after

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themoonandmyman

Forever consumed by the thought of Ilya refusing to put it in and just jerking off with his leaking tip pressed against Shane’s hole as it flutters around nothing; until he moans, long and drawn out and paints the rim with his cum, pushes the tip in just a tiny bit to force his cum inside. All the while Shane is whimpering and begging like a bitch in heat to get fucked.

yay

captain-price-returns

At least one member of the British government is doing their job.

geeseareassholes

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