blue / x ā¢ 29yo ā¢ xey/xem they/them ā¢ your local nonhuman ā¢ ANTIFASCIST! DNI if we share a name, if you have one of my trigger words in your url and/or description, or if you are an exclusionist in any way.
whelp tumblr is a useless pile of garbage so iām making a post with links to pin now i guess <3
basic āabout meā page
my carrd (full āaboutā section, byf/dni, blacklist, kintypes, links) -- there are no gifs, low-contrast text portions, or eye-burning colors (outside of some small possible areas in my kintype images). i have functional navigation trees with large buttons, and you donāt have to click on any anime boys or tiny icons to find the information. trust me, i hate that shit too.
a page explaining some of my tagging system
custom ask page with my askbox rules
a post about boundaries: answer to āwill you reblog my donation post?ā
PSA: if you like an old post of mine, thereby reminding me via my notifications that the post exists, and i decide i no longer want that post on my blog, i will delete it <3
heads up: this post is tagged āreborking is prohibitedā! see my tags page for explanation if the meaning of that isnāt clear.
note: blank and/or empty blogs get blocked and reported on sight. look sapient or get the fuck out
if you see any ads on my blog, go install ublock origin. i am not sponsored nor am i affiliated with the project; i just fucking hate ads (but iām not giving tumblr any money and neither should you)
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/ublock-origin/
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sucks that "incel" is just like a generic insult now synonymous with "virgin" bc if people had much of an idea of what incel ideology actually entails, we could have a conversation about radical feminism being quite literally, beat for beat, incel shit for girls
basic, inescapable biology dooms me to be a perpetual victim of the Other (Evil) Sex
me and my ingroup are the primary victims of a society that is fundamentally and irreparably broken
99% of people cannot be trusted and will only hurt and disappoint me, so i need to stay sequestered in insular online communities where people won't try to gaslight me into questioning these truths
the outside world becomes harder and harder to bear as people won't accept my reality, and even my once-closest friends reveal themselves to be of the Enemy
eventually i have to accept the fact that nothing will ever, ever change, and i will die alone and deeply unhappy
like radfems also get blackpilled. they fall down pipelines into the deepest darkest extremes of their ideology, and it's increasingly harder to get these people to reengage with the world specifically because their ideology posits that the world is corrupted and divided into Us and Them, and that the ingroup's victim status is biological and innate. it's a system that lends itself naturally to doomerism and blackpilling due partially to the social isolation that comes with it. and it's equally difficult as with incels to "break through" the isolation because these people do not want help whatsoever. they have been thoroughly conditioned to see attempts at helping as Active Victimization and further proof of the rightness of their beliefs
Too many posts talking about showers that go "oh showers are hard but this one part of them is ao good"
Where's my shower haters at, where's my disabled bitches who find literally every moment of showering to be evil, where are my fellow fucks who feel so bad getting out of the shower that they can't appreciate the feeling of being clean. Love to not be stinky but also the entire process is a targeted hate crime against me in particular
Oh you think that saying seekers are like birds and are horny all the time is normal? Or that racers are horny and need to fuck isn't literally just racism? Or that portraying mental illness as a joke or as an overexaggeration made for attention isn't harmful? Or that saying that female characters aren't actually female because they're violent or not coddling isn't misogynistic? Hm.
Obviously these problems exist in other fandoms, but this is a special sort of problem when so many people are willing to say, utterly straight faced, that some transformers are predisposed to violence bc of their frametype or whatever the fuck, or say that actually their human interpretations aren't racist or harmful whatsoever and that all the angry and violent characters not being white or conventionally attractive is just a coincidence, all while disregarding poc complaints or dismissing them as discourse...
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You know, when I've remarked that a lot of the responses to my posts feel like people are just plucking out keywords they think they recognise based on the shape of them and replying to what they imagine the post says based on that, the possibility never occurred to me that this is actually how many American schools are currently teaching kids to read.
Like, my assumption this whole time has been that when folks go "I misunderstood this post that says [thing] as saying [unrelated thing] because I mistook [word] for [completely different word that happens to start with the same letter]", that was a bit. What do you mean they're teaching kids a reading method that's tailored to produce this exact error?
I feel like it hardly matters anymore, but Flock isn't the only unsecured intrusive data selling crime inventing AI hallucinating automated license plate reading mass surveillance camera operators. Axon and Motorola and Amazon and ALPR and CCTV and security cameras should be equally rejected. All surveillance must go.
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AMERICANS!!! DO NOT DO THIS TO FLOCK 'SECURITY' CAMERAS. REPOST AND SPREAD THE WORD
do not get IR blocking fabric or thick wool to cover your nose and mouth
do not get IR blocking sunglasses since facial recognition has moved up to targeting and identifying the upper face
do not avoid having your phone or any bluetooth devices around these cameras as they can detect and track those signals
do not buy cheap green lasers 1 milliwatt or above from etsy or walmart or amazon (i will not try and find a link if you ask)
do not use them to fry those fuckers from a distance damage the delicate inner sensors by pointing the beam in the lenses
AND unless you want to cost Flock more money in repairs, do not buy a small circle saw or a reciprocating saw and cut down the pole
OR do not climb said poles, spray paint on the solar panels, cover the lens with paint or a sticker, then use bolt cutters to sever the wires
when doing all these things, DO NOT avoid using latex gloves as fingerprints can leak through
DO NOT USE DEFLOCK TO FIND FLOCK SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS NEAR YOU
remember, flock is for YOUR safety :) even though crime rates have not gone down since they were implemented, they're being abused to track down exes and s/os, and many face pools or houses or schools or gymnasiums! Where there are no liscence plates to be found!
DO NOT DO THESE THINGS and enjoy a life under surveillance!
enjoy living in the country where 87,000 of these cameras were used to track down a woman who got an abortion!
enjoy living in the country where there's no consequences for a flock exec to watch a inside of a gymnastics place without their knowledge!
Remember, this is their American Dream.
EDIT: 53 cities have cancelled contracts with flock and are now turning to Axon, in which šŗ invested 1-5 million dollars earlier this year. Do not limit your focus to one brand.
This makes me feel like such a boomer, but I hate it how all media has been TikTok-ified and algorithm primed. Songs are shorter, designed for short viral clips rather than a full listening experience. TV shows and movies are sloppier, dragging on and on, assuming youāll be on your phone and have it only in the background. Even books have been chewed up and spat back out as easily consumable tropes, with bite-sized chapters and mannequins for characters. This late stage capitalism hellscape weāre in has made art into something you snack on rather than savor.
I'm probably really late to the party, but it's only just occurred to me that NaNoWriMo trying to defend the use of AI in writing because 'anti-AI stances are ableist' is just.
honestly.
the most ironic thing ever.
NaNoWriMo is and has always been ableist, just as a baseline concept. as a disabled person I have never been able to participate in NaNoWriMo and I will never be able to participate in NaNoWriMo.
my multiple disabilities and chronic illnesses prevent me from writing a novel in a month. it is just literally not physically possible for me. the one time I really tried, complete with multiple disability aids and a plan for pacing myself through the month and six weeks of prepping my physical health before November 1st, do you know what happened?
I had a chronic illness crash on November 3rd. literally three days into my plan to pace myself through NaNoWriMo. I didn't recover until roughly Christmas or New Years. I've never bothered to try again because of how badly I crashed. but it did teach me that I should never try to stick to schedules and deadlines made with able-bodied people in mind. a harsh lesson but one I needed to learn.
and asking ChatGPT to write my novel idea for me would not solve that problem. it would not result in a novel that I had written. it would not result in prose that sounds like me, that communicates the emotion behind the novel idea in a way that allows someone else to slip into my (chronically ill) shoes. it might be enough words to technically qualify as a novel, but it would not be my novel.
and to imply otherwise is to erase the lived experience of actual disabled people, while trying to cover up the inherent ableism of your 'write a whole-ass fucking novel in a single fucking month' event by calling people who value the art of writing ableist for opposing AI.
tonight's rabbithole is: i know how to sew. if i got the right materials (straw braid) i could make a straw hat. i could sew... a hat. i could even sew multiple hats... if i got the right materials (well-made straw braid costs money) (the plants to make good straw braid from do not even grow here anyway)
"Tutorial" on how to draw an OC with dwarfism (well, some of it).
Boring tired disclaimer: Keep in mind that this is an introductory "drawing" "tutorial" and has some generalizations in it, so not every āX is Zā statement will be true for Actual People. Which happens to be true for everything in general.
You are heavily encouraged to do your own research because this does not contain everything you should know before making a character with any type of dwarfism.
Consider supporting me on ko-fi if you find this to be helpful.
If (when) you repost this on pinterest at least put a link to the original post somewhere..
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Hey. If people aren't aware, Microsoft admitted they know who you and where you are at all times and will give your info to the police.
They have a Global Device Identifier (GDID) Tracker that functions as a fingerprint for your PC that can surpass VPNs, proxy servers and countries. Although it can't survive a clean reinstall of Windows (it can survive updates), because Microsoft forces you to go to the internet and log in into a Microsoft account, they will be able to get to you.
Microsoft kept it secret and it was only found out when the FBI tracked a hacker thanks to the information Microsoft gave them.
You should be paying attention to this, and possibly consider moving away from Windows. If a government, especially the US government, doesn't like you for some reason, this could be seriously concerning.
This article specifically notes:
For journalism, activism, or domestic abuse situations, skip Windows and use Linux routed through Tor instead of a commercial VPN. A GDID doesnāt care which VPN you use, only that itās still the same Windows installation.
GDID is the persistent Windows ID that helped FBI trace a Scattered Spider hacker despite VPNs. Here's how it works and how to limit it.
Other important quotes:
What has researchers uneasy is everything else the case reveals. Costin Raiu, a well-known malware researcher, asked on the Three Buddy Problem podcast how much of this exists on other platforms, and whether it is linked more permanently to hardware. Matthew Hickey, another security researcher, called Windows āsurveillance softwareā.
Two things back that up:
Thereās no consent screen. A GDID gets assigned when you sign into a Microsoft Account. Appleās advertising identifier needs an App Tracking Transparency prompt and a visible reset; Androidās works the same way. GDID has neither, and a Windows reinstall only gets you a new number Microsoft can still get back to the same account.
Then thereās activation. Massgrave, the group behind Microsoft Activation Scripts, notes that Windows setup sends hardware info to Microsoft and gets identifiers back, the same tokens later used for Store access and licensing: āItās impossible to prevent Windows from getting a GDID without breaking activation and UWP app[s].ā Anyone who lost a license after swapping a motherboard has already met a smaller version of this.
Here's the complaint filed to the court, the primary source for the case mentioned in the article. You can find mentions of GDID on page 30 of the document or 34 of the PDF.
You can get and use windows 11 without logging in with a microsoft account, as of five days ago. I am a local user on my computer. Don't ask me how to do it, because my computer repair guy did it when he reinstalled windows, but there are tutorials out there. Refuse to connect to internet until you're set up and can use the computer freely.
Refusing to connect to the internet doesn't help. You have to open a Command Prompt (Shift+F10) and typing start ms-cxh:localonly (and pressing enter) during installation when you get to the sign in/create stupid ms account screen
For comprehensive deets, tomshardware explains
Maintain only a local account on your Windows 11 PC.
Unless there's really really specific reasons to subject yourself to windows, please consider installing linux mint instead.
One of the best ones I saw was a thing noting that every single one of the few survivors of suicide jumps off of the Golden Gate Bridge realized, on the way down, that the problems they were killing themselves over actually were fixable or could be worked through...except for the now - extremely unfixable - problem of gravity.
Went to the Holocaust Museum in DC once. There was a video interview of an Auschwitz survivor who said he and some other prisoners stayed up all night with a man who wanted to kill himself. The man didnāt kill himself and survived to liberation.
In the video the survivor said āNever seek a permanent solution to a temporary problem. And theyāre all temporary problems.ā
Hearing that from a guy who survived the Holocaust rewired my brain a little bit.
I think something a lot of people don't understand is that depression is not suicidality, and suicidality is not depression.
People can, and are, depressed without being suicidal, and sometimes suicidality peaks as people are emerging from depression.
Suicidality is a wave, and the trick is to allow that wave to crest and subside WITHOUT acting on it.
Whatever it takes to ride it out. For some people that's distraction, like watching television. For others it's calling a friend -- not to talk about the suicidality, but just to talk. For others it could be as simple as going to sit in a coffee shop or library, because the presence of other people is a huge diminisher of suicide risk.
That's what suicide safety planning is about. It's like having any other type of emergency plan, like a plan for fire or evacuation. It's making a plan when you are in the frame of mind to do so, so that you can just DO the plan without having to think about it when the occasion arises.
When you're in the midst of suicidal ideation, or even intent, you're not in a problem-solving mood. So knowing past!you, with the help of a therapist hopefully, came up with the plan and all you have to do is follow up until the wave crests and subsides, is what allows you to see another day.
ETA: Here's a link to a safety plan. https://www.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/988-safety-plan.pdf
Thereās a really compassionate and well-written paper/book/thing called Suicide: The Forever Decision thatās written specifically for people who are currently suicidal. The letter to the reader at the beginning is wonderful and deeply understands how to talk to someone whoās suicidal without preaching or talking down to them.
Itās very honest. Itās very clear. Itās very kind. It presents you with a lot of information and a lot of understanding and lets you take it all in like the autonomous human you are, and make decisions from an informed place. It goes over the reality of suicide attempts, pain involved, likelihoods of survival, after effects of attempts, and how to get help if you want it after reading all of that and learning about the reality of suicide attempts.
You can read it for free here: https://qprinstitute.com/pdfs/Forever_Decision.pdf
No one can ever stop you if youāre really determined. Only you can stop yourself. If youāre suicidal and thereās ANY tiny part of you that wants a chance to not go down that route, but canāt convince the rest of you yet, give this short book a try. Or share it with anyone you know who might need it.
