side note, teaching myself to pronounce that last one felt like learning a new fucking language
hey so uh next year will be a decade of dobonhonkeros. how about that shit huh.
Happy ten year anniversary of this post.
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side note, teaching myself to pronounce that last one felt like learning a new fucking language
hey so uh next year will be a decade of dobonhonkeros. how about that shit huh.
Happy ten year anniversary of this post.

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british is not synonymous with white
european is not synonymous with white
the world is not divided into USA (melting pot), white countries and brown countries
"um you know the type of person I mean when I say british" hey do you think this line of thought may have Implications
Idk, isn't saying european /= white is like saying china /= chinese? Like yeah, other peoples live there too, but it's mostly just the one, init?
'Chinese' is a nationality. There are 56 officially recognised ethnic groups within China. Europe is a continent, comprised of around 50 countries each with their own demographic makeup. So, no.
Something like 20-25% of British people are, in fact, not white. And excluding those people as "yeah but they're not like British British" is the fucking mating call of our local hooting racists.
BEHOLD! a white guy
"British food is soooo bad/gross/flavourless"
All of it? Or just a couple of cherry-picked dishes mainly eaten by lower class families that you think are weird? Many types of curries are made/eaten by British people every day and those aren't suddenly "not-British" bc you've decided people with South Asian heritage aren't British or capable of contributing to British culture. "Yeah but South Asian people are only in England bc of colonisation :/" Are Black people not American bc many of them are there bc of slavery? Is soul food not American??
"British accents are soooo cringe"
All of them? or just the ones used by people who've been forcibly made "lower class" by centuries of oppression? these are the people who say "boht-ole 'o whot-arh" or "innit." The white ruling class you're supposedly mocking doesn't say that. It's poorer white ppl & POC.
but you know who else mocks/stigmatises cultural food they don't like and any accents (including British ones) they think sound funny/incorrect?
the white British ruling class. you are doing white British ruling class behaviour when you do this shit. stop it.
Yeah sure Tumblr is a hellsite but I know someone who wrote a fanfic in the 1990s that someone else didn’t like, so when she was selling printed copies of the zine with the story in it out of her hotel room at a convention, this other woman STOOD IN FRONT OF HER DOOR TO REFUSE PEOPLE ACCESS. Because the story featured a ship she disliked. And I feel like somehow, 10,000 Tumblrs still can’t compare to that level of Extra.
Your periodic reminder that the technology and the scale of distribution changes, the basic impulse to fandom wank does not
I’ve actually heard about this event [or a similar event, which I can believe] from someone who was trying to get into the room to either buy the zine, or visit with the writer, or just see what was going on [idr]. Apparently it was quite the talk of the bar that night, and resulted in several heated [re: drunken] debates over whether Door Stander was violating Writer’s free speech, or if removing Door Stander would have violated Door Stander’s free speech.
Me, at the time, a 19yo with very little understanding of the law: “I mean…was it?”
Fandom Friend, who was a 40-something lawyer: “I’ll tell you the same thing I told everyone in that bar. No one was violating anyone’s free speech. Bitch was just being rude, and worse, obnoxious about it. You ever act like that in public, be aware you’re not changing anyone’s opinion. You’re just giving them a brand new opinion about you.”
It was a very formative conversation in my young adulthood.
Same person also told me to never mix coke and acid. Which was also pretty solid advice.
My wife pointed out to me the other day that apparently most people were literally only taught how to say Sorry and not how to Apologize or even that they are different things so here.
If all you ever do is step 1, not only did you not apologize, but people will rightfully stop believing you and start getting pissed or hurt.
easy to miss that one of the reasons maternal mortality is diminished so extremely by modern medicine is that modern medicine makes it so much more possible to identify the pregnancies that will die and take you with them, or are otherwise unacceptably high risk. and then discontinue those ones safely, before it's too late.
thought about this because it's so frustrating when people argue that 'dying in childbirth' is a historical sort of event that doesn't happen nowadays (false) and therefore is irrelevant to the legal status of abortion, since it's not a real danger.
except it super is, and i think a lot of people haven't noticed that this argument in addition to simply being incorrect is basically the same as when people say we don't need vaccines for deadly diseases because no one gets those now anyway.
like yeah one reason for that is we vaccinate everybody ffs.

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Look, it's simple. If a person has to actively work to make money, they're not "the rich" and they're not the problem. A surgeon making $200k a year still stops making money if they stop showing up to do surgery, because they're still selling their labor. The radical discrepancies in how we value different skills are certainly a problem, but the guy who makes money when he doesn't even get out of bed is the one making money on the value of other people's labor.
Did I just employ the "Treat Them Like You are A Kindergarten Teacher Again" method with my insurance company today? I surely did. Did it work? Probably better than intended because I made an actual doctor feel contrite.
So, my insurance has been trying to not cover my SNRI because it is new on the market and no generic available yet, so pricey.
I apply for a refill and the request gets locked for review. Again. For the 3rd time.
This time I call and immediately ask to speak to the actual doctor making these clinical decisions. Very politely. Must be a slow day because they allow it.
ME: [Teacher voice] I'm calling in regards to the SNRI you have placed a lock on. Why was this decision made?
DOC: Well, there are dozens of other medications on the market in that tier, and far cheaper for you and [insurer]. We have sent a request to your doctor to consider alternatives.
ME: I am aware of that. So, can you do me a HUGE favor and look up my prescription history really quickly and tell me how many SSRIs and SNRIs were only filled once in 2022 for me, showing they were poorly tolerated?
DOC: It looks like eight.
ME: Great job! Now, can you please look at my genetic test for psychiatric drug tolerance and tell me how many medications are listed in the safe category?
DOC: Two.
ME: Awesome! Now, can you tell me what type that other drug is that I'm not taking?
DOC: Yeah, totally, it's an MAOI.
ME: That's correct, you're really knowledgeable! Should I be taking something as dangerous as an MAOI with my other medications, or even just in general?
DOC: It's contraindicated for sure.
ME: It is! So true! So, last question since you've been incredibly smart and helpful. Is it less expensive for [insurer] to pay out for the medication knowing they already get a huge manufacturer discount anyway, or is it more expensive for them to pay for me to need potentially long-term inpatient psychiatric care?
DOC: I'll clear the code, ma'am and flag it as medically necessary. I'm sorry about this.
ME: I appreciate you SO MUCH. You have a great day now.
WALGREENS PHARMACY TECH WITH 5 NOSE RINGS AND PURPLE HAIR STARING AT ME: ........... OKAY! It'll be ready in five minutes. You wanna come work here?
Kill them with kindness
BUT KILL THEM
parts 1-2
part 3
and this is the true story of my monday afternoon
it frew up :'(
on desktop i use firefox and ublock to completely avoid ads everywhere except on twitch, which means i dont use twitch. on mobile i avoid ads entirely by accessing socmed via duckduckgo (tumblr, bsky, youtube, insta)
it has changed my life significantly for the better, and whatever inconvenience i felt at the initial change has either long since been forgotten or had been adapted to
in fact the only time i see or hear about ads now is, ironically, when other users talk about them or post screencaps of them
holy shit my biggest inconvenience is not being able to lock my screen while playing a yt vid on ddg, which genuinely was smth i got used to but this changes EVERYTHING THANK YOU
if you dont decouple your drive to create from your desire for attention you will go insane. simple as. you will never feel satisfied b/c you will always want more and you will feel perpetually bitter that you did not get what you are “owed”
It’s an unpopular opinion but it is absolutely and completely true. I’ve never seen someone who creates for engagement happy with the engagement they get. I posit they can’t ever be happy that way because it will NEVER be enough
I agree with OP and Manka so very much.
You have to rest in your own desire to create.
But, because I see statements like this turn into a sort of general notion of “it’s bad to want validation or attention or engagement”, and to me, that’s not what this means.
It’s perfectly valid to want people to like and engage with what you create. In a general sense, when you create anything, you do it to share with other human beings. Art, craft, food, anything you create is a way to connect with others through our shared humanity.
And wanting someone to like you fanart or read your fanfic is part of that.
the words used by OP is decouple, and this is important. Nothing wrong wanting engagement. But it cannot be tightly coupled with the drive to create.

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Unpopular opinion, apparently, but i think the best way to deal with scam calls is to either let it ring or reject call.
That conversation with Diesel where explained that he learned curse words in Hindi so he could cuss out scam callers in their own language hit a sore spot for me. I know he's just a teenager and teenage boys are often jerks but...
Okay so first off, colloquial insults from other cultures are fucking insane so you're really doing a disservice by just looking up 'motherfucker' and using a one to one translation. Boring.
2- answering your phone rewards the scammer. I can't remember the term, but theres an operator whose job is to collect data of numbers that pick up the phone. That information is sold to the people operating the scam. They get paid per call connected. You are now on a list and you will get more calls.
3. The people making those calls are often trafficked, in abusive working conditions for shit pay and hired under false pretenses. I only know some of the details, and what I have heard is a nightmare. You're not punishing the mastermind of the compound, you're punishing an at-risk person who already gets yelled at all day.
The videos of fucking with scam callers are funny, sure. But the people who make those videos are doing it on a separate line with identity protection.
Obviously do what you want with your life. But that's my stance. Hang up, block. Don't answer, if possible.
Okay, let's talk about kids and needles.
Because under the post about giving minors the right to medically consent, people are spreading a ton of misinformation on this - largely because they just do not question the stuff they just assume are "normal". Which here is: "kids are all afraid of needles and therefore if we let them consent or not to medical proceedures, they would just not consent and not get vaccinations, because needles hurt".
And, look. Here is the thing: no, needles do not actually hurt a whole lot. And while, yes, certain procedures that involve being stabbed by a needle hurt more if you are younger for a bunch of reasons... that is actually not the main reason children fear needles. Because, again: the pain is not that bad. And most kids, especially young kids, whose motor skills are still developing, usually will have a bunch more hurting scratches, bruises and the like at any given moment than there will be pain from the needle.
No, from what research can tell, the main reason kids are afraid of needles, is more that for many of them needle procedures are very traumatizing. And that is largely because of the consent issue.
Imagine you are a person who is still pretty darn new to that whole human thing. So for one, yes, your brain is actually not that great in understanding what pain is dangerous and what pain is a safe limit of pain. So yes, someone intentionally hurting you (like with a needle) is really kinda scary. But then there is also the thing where this person hurting you is not telling you why they are doing. The people who you normally trust with keeping you safe (your family) is betraying you, by just holding you down and scolding you for crying over it. Or maybe it is not your family, but some strange nurse who is holding you. And while you are scared, because someone is intentionally hurting you, while someone else is restricting you, the adults around you are telling you, that your emotional reaction to this is actually bad and you are wrong for reacting that way. They might in fact lie to you and tell you that something that is insanely scary to you is "not that bad", instead of just understanding that it is super scary to you. And that is then what you start to expect whenever you see a doctor prepare a needle: people holding you down, hurting you without reason, and telling you that you are wrong for being upset, actively gaslighting you.
We have research on this. And this research is pretty clear: most kids are actually somewhat okay with needles, if you inform them why you are doing it, allow for them to have their emotions, talk to them about their emotions, and allow for them to set at least some conditions.
And frankly, I hate how many people just accept the framing of "kids are naturally afraid of this because it hurts". Like, folks, I know y'all are fucking Americans and that in your culture it is kinda normalized to like put kids into like some sort of fortified hamsterball to stop them from like doing typical kids stuff. But... let me tell you: if you do not do that, kids will actually very regularly engage in dangerous play that they know will often end up in injuries that are going to hurt. And, no, they are not to dumb to understand that. The kids know that this is what might happen because of their play. They actually just take the risk. Yes, they will cry if they get hurt, because - again - their nervous system is still calibrating how it relates to pain. But they will likely do that thing again and again. I can tell you: I fell down a tree so often during my childhood, and I still climbed it. Again and again. So did most kids I knew. Like, fuck, we lived next to a forest. We played "Tarzan", and tried to go along paths without touching the ground. And we fell. A lot. And we still did it.
It is not the fear of pain that makes kids afraid of doctors. It is the fear of the associated force, and gaslighting.
friend of mine recommended a video essay that's like 5 hours long about why it's currently a whole Thing for fascists to claim they only eat meat and demonize vegetables etc etc, and it's genuinely quite well researched in many places and contains some fascinating history and has made me feel very weird about my status as an adult who enjoys drinking milk. but I've not finished it and I genuinely don't know if I will because at one point the ol' "you can't say you care about animals and also eat animals" chestnut got dropped by the white vegan essayist and it put such a bad taste in my mouth that I had to leave instantly
like idk man it just feels genuinely parodic to dedicate hours to analyzing how foodways have frequently been used as white supremacist propaganda and then casually toss out an argument that pretty invariably demonizes indigenous hunting practices with 0 regard for traditional knowledge and land stewardship guiding those practices
“A kiss may be grand, but it won’t pay the rental, on your humble flat, or help you at the automat.”
Like literally the most famous song about how much girls love jewellry is just explaining the importance of getting jewellry for when your partner leaves you penniless and alone.
The founder of Girl Scouting in the US, Juliette Gordon Low, funded her first troop by selling her pearl necklace, which was her only belonging after her husband died and left everything to his mistress.
She founded Girl Scouts to teach girls self-sufficiency so they wouldn’t have to go through what she went through when her husband died and she didn’t know how to take care of herself.
While we’re on the subject, let’s please also remember that historically disenfranchised communities who had to worry about frequently being run out of town often bought expensive jewelry with their limited funds not because they were greedy or tacky or classless, but rather because you can’t sew a real estate investment into the lining of your coat, and the powers that be can’t freeze a diamond necklace the way that they can freeze a bank account.
please read this even if you're not indian. especially if you're not indian.
you've seen the jokes. india is "dirty", indians are "everywhere", why don't they fix their own country. ok. let me tell you why, and what's happening right now while nobody's watching.
first, the history you skipped: britain ruled india for two centuries and drained it. economist utsa patnaik's research estimates around $45 trillion in today's money was taken. the india that got independence in 1947 was one of the poorest countries on earth. every "why is india like this" question starts there. you don't get to profit off a robbery and then mock the crime scene.
now, what's happening RIGHT NOW:
in may the question paper for NEET leaked. that's the national medical entrance exam. over 2.2 million students took it. cancelled. years of studying, families' savings poured into coaching, gone overnight because someone sold the paper. students died by suicide after. these were kids who wanted to be doctors.
and out of that came a protest movement. a gen z group called the cockroach janta party, started by a 30 year old named abhijeet dipke, got 22 million instagram followers within DAYS. they've been doing a sit-in at jantar mantar in delhi demanding education minister dharmendra pradhan resign.
and then there's sonam wangchuk. if you've watched 3 idiots, he's the real engineer the character was based on. built solar schools in ladakh. invented ice stupas so himalayan villages have water. spent his whole life on education. he's 59 and he's been on hunger strike for 17+ days now. reporters went to see him this week and he was too weak to talk. and the troll armies are calling him "anti national" and "foreign funded". a man starving himself for other people's children. that's the thing here, anyone who asks a question is suddenly a traitor.
it's not one incident, it's everywhere you look:
• infrastructure worth thousands of crores failing within months of the ribbon cutting. tunnels collapsing in regions where heavy rain is a guarantee, not a surprise.
• youth unemployment near 10% for ages 15 to 29, 13.6% in cities. in a country of 1.42 billion where more than half the population is young.
• only about the top 3% of indians earn above 10 lakh a year. meanwhile billionaire wealth keeps ballooning and the headlines celebrate it.
• manipur burned for over two years. an ethnic conflict, tens of thousands displaced, and the prime minister barely said the word manipur while it happened.
• journalists raided. critics' houses bulldozed. activists sitting in jail for years without trial under laws like UAPA. our press freedom ranking has cratered.
• even the petrol is a fight now, ethanol blending pushed through while drivers complain about their engines and get no straight answers.
and through all of it, the PM, who came to power on religious polarisation (americans, sound familiar?), travels abroad for photo ops and has not held one single open press conference in over a decade. not one.
what i'm asking:
if you're not indian: share this. our media mostly won't cover any of it because the big outlets are owned by the same billionaires the government serves. the only reason wangchuk's fast is getting any coverage is people refusing to look away.
if you ARE indian: speak up even if you're comfortable. especially if you're comfortable. join the protests. add to this, correct me, translate it. staying quiet is a choice when nothing in this post touches your life.
india is not "dirty". india was robbed, and it's being robbed again, from the inside this time. but it's also the country where a 59 year old will starve for strangers' kids and 22 million young people will rally behind a party literally named after cockroaches, because cockroaches survive everything.
we can still save her. but only loudly.
reblog. share. don't scroll past.

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Kara who saw her parents wither away. Kara who carries the grief of an entire planet. Kara who doesn't share that grief with her cousin, because she thinks he could never understand. Kara who holds Krypto like her heart, because he is the only piece of her Krypton that is still alive. Kara who will tarnish her soul so Ruthye doesn't have to. Kara who has every reason to scream, cry and break things, but chooses to stay and make Earth her home because she also has many reasons to find again the happiness she lost. That is a Kara that I love.
There seem to be a lot of people who don’t understand why Lobo was in the movie, so I’m just gonna say it: Lobo is who Kara is at risk of becoming.
Kara is at a crossroads, and one road leads towards Clark and one leads to Lobo. Or rather, one path leads to embracing the responsibility of the life and powers her parents gave her, and the other is continuing to drink her life away, not caring about anything or anyone but her and hers.
Lobo is immensely powerful, and the last of his planet. Just like Kara. And when we meet him, he’s passed out drunk in a bar, oblivious and uncaring of violence and exploitation around him. Just like Kara was trying to be when she first met Ruthye.
Lobo is Kara’s future if she gives up on trying to be good. Drunkenly stumbling through the galaxy not helping anyone or anything and only caring about herself. Maybe not mindlessly cruel, but not kind or good or caring of the pain of the people around her.
It’s why they both get Ruthye’s spiel, it’s why Lobo’s whole introduction mirrors what Kara was just doing demanding to know about the Brigands, it’s why they’re both “the ditz from the bar”, it’s why they both have the gag with the space suit collar.
It’s why Lobo crops up each time Ruthye and Kara are faced with choices, sometimes acting as a devil on their shoulders, sometimes just a big lurking ominous warning of their bleak future if they make the wrong choices. It’s why Lobo says “let Ruthye have her revenge”, uncaring of how the violence might haunt Ruthye for the rest of her life. He’s a big constant reminder why Kara cannot let this thirteen year old girl be consumed by violence, and of who her parents didn’t want her to be.
Lobo is Kara’s foil and shadow.
I don’t think the movie always executed this well, it could have been done better, but I don’t think it was subtle either. The parallels between Kara and Lobo are right there in every scene and always highlight the choices Kara makes to be kind, and I do wish people would take the time to actually think about them before writing Lobo’s presence off.
Solid theory