#zosansopp

Little gal privalage

vvv extra doodles vvv

During time-skip Zoro gets so depressed without his boyfriend(s) that he is immune to Perona's devil fruit.

Zoro wins most of the time because Usopp hides behind him in fights more than he does with Sanji. Of course, they butt head about it.

When Usopp realized both men had a crush on him, he was confused and flustered because he had a crush on both of them.

Zoro and Sanji don’t hate each other’s guts, they just banter, but they don’t have the desire to date each other because they are too similar to each other and both don’t like that.

Rated: E

Genre: Fluff

Tags: East Blue Polycule (Nami x Sanji x Zoro x Ussop x Luffy), Banter/play fighting, OOC(?), Modern AU, Cursing/swearing, Frobin (Franky x Robin), Chopper is honestly just there 💔, Lots of Ussop mentions

—-

“Keep your paws off my drink!” Ussop yelled at Monkey D. Luffy, who had simultaneously been driving the van to another drive through. That thirsty, hungry ass BITCH.

Luffy was driving while Roronoa Zoro sat in the passenger seat with Tony Tony Chopper in his lap, the moss head napping like a baby. Behind Zoro was Ussop and behind Luffy was Nami. In between Ussop and Nami was Vinsmoke Sanji. Behind the ginger, blonde and raven hair was Franky, Nico Robin and Brook. Franky was to the left and Brooke was to the right of the window; Robin squished into the middle. 

Luckily, Jinbei had asked to skip out on the fast food dash this time, offering for them to just bring his food home.

“Quit yelling! Before I fix your attitude!” Nami, wearing a cute little pink bow clip in her tangerine colored hair, barked out angrily to Ussop. She was seething from the constant banter before the whole crew (Luffy insisted on calling them that) piled into the Strawhat Crew van (something else Luffy insisted on naming). 

Ussop would never say— despite how obvious it was— that he was scared of his girlfriend. She always had this power of the last word. Something his boyfriend, Sanji, feigned over. 

“Of course Nami-dear!” Sanji sucked up to her; practically panting, holding her waist trying to pull her closer— only to no luck with the seat belt’s restriction. “You dogs!— Cut it out! You’re making Nami uneasy!”

Luffy and Ussop both knew Sanji was playing it up for her affections but they still looked back worried for their girlfriend. 

“I’m fine you idiots! Pay attention to the car in front of you!” Luffy had done so as her sentence ended, rolling down the window. He stretched his neck out past the sill of the car window, squinting and yelling randomly at the car above his.

This was stopped with a swift smack from all of his partners—even including the sleeping one oddly enough. 

Luffy miserably whined, rubbing his shoulder where he was hit. They all reacted differently to this pain. 

Zoro (now awake at that sound) pretended to not care, though he sneaked glances. Sanji softened, his cigarette in his mouth almost flattering to the car floor. Nami scoffed, feeling guilty and rolling her eyes. Ussop’s eyebrows raised, about to rattle off a story to distract him from minimal pain. 

Luffy didn’t seem to notice any of these reactions as he immediately perked back up, tapping his fingers rapidly against the steering wheel with a big smile— excited for his fourth meal. 

Brook had his earbuds in, sharing with Robin, smiling at her. Robin’s hands clasped with Franky’s as he leaned on his broad shoulder. Franky tried not to blush bashfully but he couldn’t stop it, opting to look out the window mysteriously. 

Eventually, they pulled up to the first window to order. 

The poor employee looked defeated when he saw the van full of people pull up to the window. “Hello, Welcome to the Baratie, my name is—“

Aaanddd Luffy was already listing off his order. “Yes can I get the crab, the fried catfish, the shrimp, three orders of the salmon, four containers of chocolate chip cookies and can I also have—“ 

It felt like half an hour before Luffy was done ordering. Ussop felt like he was going to puke just by thinking about Luffy eating all that food. 

Ussop started,“You sure you don’t want to pace yourself?—“ 

Luff then interrupted the worker one more time, “Oh! Add one— no!.. two.. three..four— add ten Cherry Pepsi’s!” 

Good god. Now both Ussop and Nami were about to hurl. 

Finally, the car moved further up the line. 

Luffy successfully got his fourth lunch? Dinner?— Eating times blended when it was Luffy’s day to pick out the places to eat. 

——

It didn’t take long till another argument broke out. 

“Moss head! The crab is mine!” Sanji yelled, jumping from the middle seat strapped in tight, to the passenger seat where Zoro and Chopper laid; digging through the logo’d bag. 

“Get out of here. Luffy obviously ordered it for me.” He grumbled groggily, taking a pure bite of outer shell and crunch from a crab leg. 

Sanji stared at Zoro in disbelief, eyes looking to Ussop then to Nami asking if he was crazy. Nami shrugged, leaning against the window.

Ussop hid behind his seat belt, faking scarcity. Sanji wouldn’t rage on him next, Sanji only treated Ussop and Nami with nothing but kindness. 

“Isn’t that right Luff? You ordered the crab for me?” Zoro smirked, eyes pausing on Sanji’s, acting like a malicious sea urchin. 

He smiled back at his boyfriend, leaning from the driver’s seat to wrap him in a hug. “It’s for anyone, Zo-Zo! Have at it!” He sneaked a piece of crab from his hands without complaint.

Luffy happily chomped on his crab leg, just as crazy as Zoro, eating the outer shell as well. Nami looked in disgust. “Do any of you know how to eat crab?”

Luffy looked back with a blank face, looking caught with sauce covering his mouth (Ussop shivered a grimace at that), Zoro shrugging in not caring.

Nami sighed, nudging Sanji to do something. He was still too busy trying to kick Roronoa into the highway. He was wrestling the bag out of Zoro’s hands, simultaneously avoiding waking up Chopper. 

Ussop then quietly pulled the bag from his blonde boyfriend's lap into his own, grabbing the miso soup out of it. He thought he wouldn’t get caught until he heard the wrestling still. 

Sanji’s eyebrows furrowed and his signature smirk formed on his face. At first, Ussop dumbly didn’t know why he was doing that so he nervously smiled back. 

Sanji then pounced on Ussop, tumbling the soup cup to the floor (thankfully didn’t open), which Nami actually didn’t appreciate much when Ussop was in the scrutiny of any of their boyfriends. 

“Hey! Get your hands off my boyfriend! Let him eat you dickhead!” Nami pulled Sanji off by his arm, teeth clenched in frustration. 

Zoro sneered, giving a warning look to Sanji. “Cut it out.” Ussop blushed at this. He was an attention seeker but when the attention was actually on him, he got flustered too easily, especially from Nami and Zoro’s tough love. 

Sanji then rolled and glared his eyes at Zoro, growling the cigarette in between his teeth before his eyes softened at Ussop. Sanji’s smile melted into a less malicious one, taking his cigarette from his lips and kissing his forehead— extra careful with placing the miso soup back into his hands with another kiss to his lips. 

Ussop’s mouth fell open, blushing wildly as if he wasn’t kissed constantly. Zoro grumbled at this, hating his blonde boyfriend who got to sit in the back with his Ussop and Nami. Zoro cuddled Chopper closer to his pec, secretly petting his hair (something Luffy noticed and loved seeing him have a soft spot for the guy.)

Nami huffed, arms crossed. “Now, will you both stop? We still have to give food to Jinbe and Chopper when he wakes.”

Luffy sighed miserably at this, wanting more food for himself, Zoro nodded mildly shrugging, and Ussop smiled as if he was proud to bring back food for his warlord friend. 

+ orientations n whatnot for my blended gothfam au over on twt