#dottore x reader

Yet he wonders why he has to find himself in this situation. Repression and denial are skills he turned into an art form. There are, after all, endeavors more stimulating and productive than emotions. Only men act on them, and he’s above them. He has experiments to run; his lifelong, eternal, experiment in heresy. There’s no time to waste on setting himself back and entertaining these desires. 

Oh but he is a man, his humanity drags behind him like a corpse instead of a shadow. More pathetic than Zandik’s has been, Dottore’s own even more artificial, a concept unfamiliar, unwanted and unneeded. An error, if he does say so himself, that the original made by not removing such a foolish thing as desire from his self.

The door opens. 

Though his mask offers cover, he still looks at you as you enter before returning to his book. Dottore doesn’t know the particularities of your dealings with the forty-five year old segment, nor does he know how you spend your time together, except for the brief glances he’s witnessed on accident or was exposed to whenever you decide to interrupt them.

“I hoped I’d find you here,” you say, and he hears a smile in your voice. Silly. “Mind if I join?”

He only hums in response, carefully assimilating the intonation of his older self. It’s half infuriating how easily persuaded you are, how trusting, with what ease you sit yourself on his thighs and lay your head on his shoulder. If you were aware, the whole situation would play out differently. The data might be the same, but the result would differ, so to speak. 

His arm curls around you, his hand settling just above your hip as he’s observed the older segment holds you in such a position. And then he simply… is. The book makes it easier to sit still, be still, though the warmth radiating off your body is distracting. More so whenever you tilt your head back and he feels your breath on his throat, followed by the weak pressure of your lips on his skin. Sometimes you satisfy yourself with just one kiss, sometimes you continue trailing your lips over his jaw.

“You’re so handsome,” you whisper. Is that what you’ve been doing all this time, whenever he saw you leaning to the other’s ear? He stops himself from scoffing. His only response is a slow swipe of his thumb over your hip. “You smell so nice.”

Ah- he did not consider that. Well, Dottore is sure you’re dramatic. As much as they take care of themselves, endless hours at the lab will permeate their skin with chemicals. 

“I missed you,” you continue, seemingly unstoppable. Your arms wrap around him. No wonder the older seems to be much less productive when you come around. His eyes have read the same paragraph about five times now. 

You don’t seem deterred by his lack of response. You never do. It’s intriguing, but it sure does make this whole endeavor easier. You tuck yourself back into the crook of his neck, seemingly satisfied with talking for now. But talking seems to be about the extent of it.

Your hands don’t wander all the way to his, you still do seem to respect his effort to read, but they stroke up and down his forearm. He’d write it off as you getting lost in your thoughts was it not for how purposefully your fingers traced his body. Naturally, he was familiar with his own body. Enough so to be as aware you are where his veins trails across his skin visibly. 

It’s such a strange thing. Your heat seeping into his body, your weight on top of him not an inconvenience but a sensation that feels, well, grounding. He’s not unaware of the biology of the human body, though his own was wired into him by his self made of flesh and bone. Nonetheless, he can find it bothersome to feel so human.

And finally you settle. Your hand on his wrist, as close you can get to holding his hand. The segment he’s pretending to be would find it cute, he thinks. He supposes there is something endearing about it. Just the same as the peace that befalls you, him, the quiet and calm, motionless comfort.  

You sat at your desk, drinking some coffee before you heard a stupid bell ring. You hated your boss! He just pissed you off all the time! Asking you to run stuff even when you had just sat down! Ugh, he really is the worst!

“Y/N, dear! I want another cup of tea!” you hear in the annoying intercom with his annoyingly happy voice. This individual was wealthy; he could afford servants, but he chose to bother his secretary.

You get up, slamming your coffee onto the desk, not caring if it’ll stain the desk as you walk to the staff kitchen. Brewing tea for this man. He has legs and arms; he should be able to do it! You know what, you won’t try him at all.

“I hate doing this so much…” you muttered as you grabbed the tea and walked to his office. You swore you wanted to hit him. You held the cup in one hand as you flattened the stray hairs with your hand and then slapped your cheek to wake yourself up.

“Mr. Pantalone! I have your tea!” you said before opening the door to find him smoking. As much as you wanted to lash out, you couldn’t yell at him. “Smoking again? That isn’t really healthy, sir.”

“Oh? Is my mean little secretary worrying about little ol’ me?” he teased as you placed the tea on his desk. “Anything else, sir?” You put a fake smile on your face.

“Hmm? Maybe praise from my favorite staff member? Or affection?” he teased even more. “At this point, just don’t talk anymore.” You sighed before leaving, not even letting him finish.

During a conference, you sat next to Pantalone because he was the boss, and you were just there to correct Pantalone's sometimes obviously bitchy attitude toward people.

Pantalone’s hand crawled on your leg, startling you. Your ears turned a bit red because he was becoming bolder in front of people. You shoved his hand off; that is something you wouldn’t allow... but maybe in private?

Pantalone gives you a side eye after you shove his hand off. He loves a person who is as bitchy as him or someone ruthless, even if you played hard to get with his looks he’ll keep trying until it works.

The conference went on for a few more hours but when it ended “it was good meeting you! I’m pretty sure Mr. Pantalone is excited to work with you.” You said to the new business partner. Pantalone just rolled his eyes, this bitchy man will be the death of me.

“I hope our partnership lasts long.” The business partner replied to you, Pantalone just looked a little irritated as the business got closer to you to shake hands with you. He tries to convince himself that he isn’t jealous.

“I hope you can handle my boss’s attitude, he’s a bit sassy..” you said with a polite smile, as you shake their hand, Pantalone looks a bit pouty in the corner that’s his secretary! Not theirs!

When the business partner turned to shake hands with Pantalone he looked less nonchalant than normal. Maybe he was having a headache? “To our partnership,” the partner said as he took Pantalone’s hand.

As they shook hands, Pantalone let go quickly and dusted his hand, even though he had gloves on. It was clear he had a bit of resentment toward the partner who got to touch your hand before he could make you fall for him!

When the business partner left with his accountant Pantalone spoke before you could leave the conference room, “Can you hang behind? Before you finish your work?” Pantalone asked.

When you finished your work you went to Pantalone’s office and knocked on his door. “Mr. Pantalone! I finished my work, you wanted to see me?” Again your knuckles rap against the door.

“Come in, my dear!” He says so cheerfully, when you open the door he’s smoking cigarettes. “Mr. Pantalone! Another cigarette? At this point, your lungs are completely black!” You whined.

That whine just did something to him, he crushed the cigarette in the ashtray and approached you. “Do you even understand.. what you do to me.?” He whispered getting into your personal space the smell of his tobacco on his breath.

“Mr. Pantalone! What are you doing?!” You get flushed pushing him back just a bit. “Is it a problem that I want to look at my favorite secretary up close?” Pantalone just teased, “Yes! It’s a problem I have my personal space!”

He pouts a bit. “Come on, let this happen one time. I’ll make you feel great..” he gets close again leaning down resting his face in your neck as you inhale the scent of smoke coming from him.

“I don’t know! I haven’t done that before..” you whispered. Pantalone looked a bit shocked especially because of the woman you were. He thought you were at least experienced.

“Well maybe I can go slow, but that's not guaranteed,” Pantalone said letting his hands rest on your waist rubbing up and down on your waist his grip tightened his hand slowly going to your hips..

“Mr. Pantalone-“ you started before getting cut off by him lifting his head and leaning down as one of his hands left your hip and went to caress your cheek. “You’re so red, darling.” He smiles.

Before you knew it, Pantalone was leaning down even closer to your lips, the soft pink colour of your lips. For years he has seen you nipping at your lips wishing it was him now he can do it now..

He stopped just a few centimetres away from your lips waiting to see if you would say anything and changing your mind, “not going to finish the distance for your little ol’ boss?” he said knowing he was messing with your restraint.

He soon closed the gap and kissed your lips. He tasted bitter, the tobacco. It was addictive in a way, he groaned softly into your mouth. To him? You tasted so good, maybe a hint of sweetness.

He slowly walks you up to the door his hand hiking up to your thigh as he hooks it on his hip as you moan against his lips. The vibration against his lips

Why did you agree to this??

You dressed up for the stupid function that Pantalone was going to give a speech, about business and a charity. You could barely care less about your just there because he wanted you there for you to see how beautiful he was whenever serious, and you couldn’t lie but he’s so pretty whenever he’s at the office or in bed..

You stood at a table with a wine glass, and it was your favourite wine. You knew that pantalone one your favourite wine and this was his function.

As Pantalone’s speech started it lasted 30 minutes or so, and you were a bit mesmerized by his beautiful face. He just looked more serious than the loud top you basically see at least every week.

Pantalone left the stage in the auditorium. You felt a small tap on your shoulder and you felt him kiss your forehead and tuck a piece of stray strands of your hair behind your ear. As his hand crept into your silt of your dress caressing your thigh, “Darling, I need you..” he whispered in your ear.

You get red in the face, your face heating up. “Right now? We’re in a public space?” You murmur shyly, you feel his hand creeping farther but then gets startled by a voice, a medium-deep pitch voice, overly formal.

“Hello, old friend..” the man with long light blue hair spoke, sounding formal.

Pantalone let go of your thigh as he smirked, “Dottore! I’m happy you were able to come!” You look back and forth not knowing what to say.

“Darling, this is Dottore. A special friend.” Pantalone said, as he patted your shoulder and he pats Dottore's shoulder. “And Dottore this is my sweetheart, Y/N,” Pantalone said. But you saw Pantalone give Dottore a specific look, and Dottore caught what he meant but you were left in a loop.

“Maybe you both should talk, I’ll go talk to some guests!” Pantalone said before walking to a crowd of guests sipping their wine before you protest leaving you alone with Dottore.

“Your his sweetheart?” Dottore said, your get a little red. “Well that’s what he calls it, I don’t have an example.” You said. “Maybe just something new to you and you don’t understand it. You can call me Dr. Zandik.” He stayed as he stepped closer.

You lost your breath. This other beautiful man is making you as flushed as Pantalone can. “Just call me Y/N.” You muttered, maybe you wanted both. Then you would be greedy! ugh! Love is always so confusing.

“Y/N has a nice ring to it,” Dottore said in a low tone, he lifted his hand to your cheek, caressing it. “Your cheek is warm, I find it adorable.” He added.

“Dr. Zandik! You're so close!” You protested. “So? Pantalone won’t mind if I touch your face. Actually, he would understand, you're talking to me like I’m a stranger to him.” He said with fake sympathy.

“And let’s be honest, you wouldn’t tell me to stop even if I did touch you as Pantalone did.” He said in a calm tone, with a hint of teasing. You could only but feel something for Dr. Dottore.

“How about I give you my personal phone number?” Dottore said, “I think that’s alright..” you replied. Dottore put his number into your phone…

After the function. You lie in your bed holding your phone scrolling on Seeliegram, seeing a message pop up on the top of your screen a message from Dottore.

One Apple a day keeps the doctor away: “I just got off work, want to go walk around in a park? Without Pantalone if you don’t mind. Just us one on one?”

“Just one on one huh” you mumbled, you sat up slowly and typed something.

Y/N is typing..

You deleted your message a few times not knowing how to decline. The first one was “Without Pantalone?” Too reliant, and then the second one was “sure!” Too short..

Y/N: “How was work?” “And I don’t mind hanging out, don’t want to tire you out though.”

You liked your reply it was good enough, you see his text bubble pop up waiting for a reply.

One apple a day keeps the doctor away. “Work was work. So see you at this Cafè xxxxxxxx?”

You heart the message. Y/N: “Yeah give me 20 minutes, see you then.”

You both met at the Cafè he mentioned, which was empty. “I reserved the cafè today so we can have our alone time. You know, without our ego.” (He means Pantalone), “I understand, Pantalone is sometimes.. too much.” You said.

Dottore opens the door for you, you walk through and it looks cozy in that Cafè, you get coffee and sit down. “I didn’t know if you liked crowded spots so I chose a Cafè since it’s cozy.” He said drinking his coffee.

“You're partially correct, I don’t like restaurants that are too fancy and crowded by rich people.” You replied while drinking your warm coffee. “Well, good thing I went with my gut to get you comfortable.” He added.

You ended up at Dottore’s place, drank some wine, and when you started getting giddy, Dottore sat a little closer on his couch towards you. He leaned in, looking at your lips more than Pantalone.

Was he a freak in the sheets?!

“May I?” he asked as his hand caressed your face. His cold, chilling hand felt like ice; it sent shivers down your spine. “It would be nice,” you said as his thumb traced your bottom lip.

He closed the gap and kissed you; it started a little slow and then progressed into something rougher. He kept nipping at your lip as he shifted you all the way so your back was touching the armrest. He broke the kiss.

He grabbed your thigh, hooking it onto his hip; you felt the chilling feeling from his hand again. He left a trail of bite marks and you moaned. “The sounds you make are so beautiful, darling,” he groaned.

He moved his hand under your shirt, giving a signal that he wanted the shirt off. You sat up a bit and took it off, tossing it somewhere in his living room.

What followed was just some teasing from Dottore and you being whiny.

When you heard your phone ring on Dottore’s nightstand, you couldn’t make an effort to pick it up. Why? Because Dottore was being a fucking asshole and pounding you ruthlessly from behind.

Dottore grabbed your phone and accepted the call, then put it to your ear. “Hey! Good evening, sweetheart!” Pantalone said with a happy tone. “Just bought your favorite wine, want to hang out tonight?”

“Maybe tomorrow,” you replied, your voice shaky and breathy. “Why not tonight? Are you busy?” Pantalone asked. You couldn’t tell him you were getting railed by his friend!

“Mhm!” you whined. “You sound out of breath,” Pantalone said, Dottore still being rough. “Sorry, Pantalone... ah! Gotta go.” You hung up on Pantalone. “Lying to your boss? Not a good look, darling.” Dottore leaned into your ear. “You’re tightening, darling? Are you close?” he smirked against your ear.

“You’re not allowed to cum yet... I haven’t even reached my limit,” he said with fake sympathy. “But, Zandik...” he cut off and took your lips into another kiss, enjoying the tight velvet around his cock. It felt too good, like the pressure was just bringing him closer to the edge, but he’d wait until you begged.

“Zandik... please, let me cum... I can’t hold it anymore,” you moaned again. “Let me hear you say my name again and then maybe I’ll let you cum,” he groaned in your ear. “Zandik,” you whined.

“Good girl... Now you can cum,” he said, his hand reaching down and rubbing your clit for overstimulation while he pounded harder.You felt a bit sore after that night with Dottore you enjoyed it too much to complain while Pantalone was kept in the dark..

You got a message from Pantalone saying that we should go to his place and just enjoy each other's company.

But whenever you did you didn’t expect to start getting heated with Pantalone. He was more aggressive than usual. Making out with you rougher.. and he pulls back biting all over your neck. And then you go through the front door to Pantalone's luxurious apartment.

It was Dottore!?

“Dottore told me your little fun time with him,” Pantalone said and bites down harder onto your neck you whine to the rougher bite. “I did, because maybe we could make a compromise. We'll get you tonight.” Dottore stepped closer as he talked to you both. “We both would get to pleasure you,” Dottore added.

“I mean we can try it..” you said blushing deeply and probably a little excited and nervous that you're going to have. They sat on Pantalone's expensive bed with silk sheets. “Strip, my dear,” Pantalone said

You started taking off your top, and then your pants. “Don’t worry keep going,” Dottore said with fake sympathy and Pantalone groaned at the arousal tension of you taking your clothes off.

You next clipped your bra leaving your panties on. “Just one last thing before we see your full beautiful self..” Pantalone said.

Pantalone got up and opened his night stand grabbing handcuffs and held them up to you. “We’ll have fun with you darling. He cuffed your hand and put you onto his lap. And he held your legs apart the only thing you had left on was a garter on your thighs.

“I guess I’ll start,” Dottore said and he got off the bed getting in between your legs. Taking the garters off with his teeth, he bites your thighs looking up at you and Pantalone. The sight of him biting makes you even more needy than you are.

“You want me to start, darling?” Dottore teased. You whine loudly. Your restraint was slipping away.. “Come on, Sweetheart. Entertain us..” Pantalone said kissing up on your neck.

Dottore started with little kitten licks on your silt. Pressing his tongue flat against your clit. “Like how he’s licking you? Sweet girl.” Pantalone whispered in your neck, his breath warm. You moan to the dirty talk and the feeling of Dottore’s mouth.

Dottore hummed on your clit, you felt the vibration giving you shivers up your spine, you whined again. “Dottore, I think she’s enjoying it, Dirty girl.” Pantalone moaned into your ear. Dottore lifts his hand and pulls away, he runs his figure across your slick. As he slips a finger into your entrance he returned to licking your clit.

That already pushed you towards the edge but you didn’t want it to end. You moan again loudly, Pantalones hand mess with your nipples adding even more stimulation. “You need to cum?” Pantalone teased with fake sympathy.

“Yes.. yes! I need to cum!” You whined out, Dottore added a second finger you just got louder and closer. “I think we should let her cum, Dottore..” Pantalone added. Smirking down at Dottore. “You’re right. Let’s let her cum..” Dottore hummed again against your clit making you cum into his mouth.

“What a dirty girl, you made a mess on our precious Dottore..” Pantalone pouts a bit. “I think I should let Dottore punish you.” Pantalone added pulling away from you.

First thing that Dottore did was take the handcuffs off of you throwing them somewhere in the room. He removes his clothes one by one, pushing you more onto the bed and spreads your legs apart again. As he held his cock sliding it against your slit.

He pushes in groaning, your warm heap was always so welcoming to him. For Pantalone he was smoking a cigarette sitting in a chair near the bed. He watched fascinated on how you both were going at it.

“Just imagine me..” Dottore cuts himself off groaning again. “Making you cum in the supply room at my job.. where anyone could walk in.. you’d like that wont you?” You tighten on his cock at the thought. “Oh? You like me telling you my thoughts? Makes you wanna cum?” He stared down at you.

“Whining like a damn slut already.. and yet you can even handle me yet. Pity pity.. but I guess we’ll just ruin you.” Dottore said with fake sympathy. “You can take some more like a slut right?” He added.

You just whined to his words getting closer to the edge. “You're getting tighter.” Dottore cooed. Pantalone was getting hard from the sight of his old friend pound his sweetheart into an oblivion. The cigarette in between his fingers burning slowly.

“I think I had enough watching..” Pantalone said walking towards you both. He extinguished his cigarette on your thigh before kissing it. “We both need to mark you somehow..” Pantalone teased

“Well.. Darling I hope you can take us both, you gotta open that pretty mouth pretty wide for me..” Pantalone said. He unbuttons his shirt, and then he takes his pants off. He crawls closer to your head, you start palming him. “Quite eager..” pantalone kept teasing.

“Pantalone! Please!” You whined loudly, “Ok, ok. I’ll give it to you..” he tugs down his boxers revealing his pretty cock. 9 inches and thick.. the pretty pink tip at your lips. “Come on, a little more wider. Tongue out.” He rubs his tip on your tongue and slowly pushes in, not wanting you choke yet.

“Her throat is so good, Dottore.” Pantalone whined. Dottore didn’t reply because he’s a little to focused on your tight heap. You moaned as soon Pantalone started rubbing on your clit, the over stimulation was endless. When you moaned against Pantalone cock he groaned at the vibrations.

“I think I might cum, Dottore..” Pantalone panted out, The response that Pantalone got was just a low groan. “You want that, darling? To cum?” He pushing his cock deeper into your throat. “gotta cum…” your eyes roll back into your skull as you whined.

You cum on Dottore’s cock.. and Pantalone came down your throat swallowing eagerly. Then Dottore thrusts a few times before cumming. “Such a good girl, you enjoyed swallowing that down?” Pantalone pets your head, he pulls out of your mouth. Dottore pulled out next, laying right next to you. Dottore’s cum oozing out.

“Look at the mess you made, you’ll have to clean it up before you leave.” Dottore said leaning back on the pillows. “Who said she was leaving? She’s a damsel in distress after you pounded her to hard,” Pantalone said with a tone that was dripping with fake sympathy.

Andd that’s a wrap unicorns! Tune in next time when Yuyu-Chan another kiss for you!!💋

“Do what you have to,” you whine as another flash of pain seizes your muscles, “I don’t care.”

He huffs. It seems you’re stable enough to sit still and so he turns away, taking out the vial he’s had at the ready since yesterday evening, preparing the injection. 

“I’d have 25 assist me,” he informs you, “And I don’t mean to upset you but we’d need to inflate your abdomen if all was good.”

“No,” you glare at him with enough conviction that he pauses in preparing the medication.

“If too much air is pumped into your body, your whole self might get inflated. Not substantially, not enough to cause embolism, of course, but you might feel it. And neither 25, nor me have experience with this kind of procedure,” he carries on regardless, “I thought you disliked staying bedridden. This is your chance at relative quick recovery.”

“You won’t make me look like a balloon!” you whimper. 

Dottore’s smile provides little comfort. Still you do as he expects of you and force yourself into a position that allows him to comfortably administer the injection. Unmoved by your sulking, he helps you get up on the hospital bed closeby. It’s harder to move with every step, you find, your body growing heavier as if the pain was replaced with lead.

He pulls the blanket over you once you’re lying down, humming a tune as he tucks you in. Sitting down on the side of the bed, he strokes your hair. What an amusing pastime, to watch the uncertainty in your eyes, the inner conflict between trust and panic.

“A muscle relaxant,” he explains finally, “Works wonderfully, doesn’t it?”

It does. The pain is gone but so is your ability to move and your energy it seems. 

“You need to rest,” he informs you, “And iron. Fret not, we’ll get you some after you sleep.”

“Why?” you mumble. He smirks, clearly making out what you mean even from a single word.

“I have work to do,” his hand slips to your cheek, his thumb stroking your skin, “And you’d be distracting. Sleep while I finish.”

Baizhu gives you his most sympathetic smile, somehow even sweeter and gentler than he gives his actual patients, and patiently puts the food back on the place and sets the chopsticks down. Without pressuring you, he offers you the cup of murky liquid with a strong herbal scent again. Not too unpleasant, but a little suspicious. If it was anyone but him, you’d believe they were trying to poison you.

“You need to drink,” he reminds you, “And you need to eat. No medicine before you eat.”

You whimper and try to summon tears to your eyes. You doubt he’d crack if you cried, too infuriatingly meticulous to abandon caution, but it’s worth a try. Would be if you could do it.

“I don’t feel well,” you protest. Like he’s not aware. Like he’s not currently rubbing your abdomen with his warm hand, waiting for the hot water bottle he brought to cool down enough that it wouldn’t be causing damage to your tissues. 

“If I give you the medicine now, you’ll be even more nauseous and it’s gonna be worse than the pain,” he explains gently, with the patience of a saint considering how you have this exact conversation every time, “And you’d still need to eat.”

“Can’t you just remove it?” you whine, throwing your head back. Immediately you’re tempted to do it with more force, just so that your body maybe focuses on that instead of trying to strangle the traitorous organ low in your belly. 

“No unnecessary procedures,” Baizhu says sternly. His eyes remain gentle, however, and you think maybe you could push out some tears now if you put your mind to it. 

“Please?” you try.

His face softens even more, if possible, and he reaches over the tray to cup your face.

“There’s a risk you won’t wake up with every procedure,” he talks quietly, almost like he doesn’t want to consider the possibility, “And I’m not one to do a surgery on a patient while they’re fully aware and awake.”

“There wouldn’t be much difference from how I feel now,” you grumble, biting your lip at yet another wave of fresh cramps, “I can handle it.”

“But your physician unfortunately can’t,” he chuckles, picking up the chopsticks and splitting the bite he offered you into two. 

He picks up one of the pieces and tries again, pressing the food against your lips. You’re too distracted and agonized to pay attention to what it is even as you finally give up and eat it. 

“There we go,” he smiles, picking the other half and feeding it to you too.

“Painkiller now?” you ask hopefully. 

Baizhu shakes his head, has the audacity to remove the hand from your abdomen too - even if just to check the water bottle.

“First this,” he hums, handing the item to you. The heat does wonders for your comfort, although it could do more for the pain. “You need to fill your stomach, love. Eat a little more, hm?”

Waking up from the sounds of an Akasha Terminal ringing and flashing brightly at your eyes was not a good sign.

Realizing that the sun was already half way through the sky, indicating that it was way half past noon was a horrible sign.

You overslept, more than you'd usually do on a Sunday. Fortunately, you had no classes, and there was no need for you to go to your office, since you've already brought all the papers you needed to grade. You sank back onto your couch, your eyes fluttering to a close once more as the exhaustion seeped into your bones. What was left of your tasks was to create your finals lesson plan and the ex—

The kid you took in last night was still inside your home.

Jumping up from your couch, clothes disheveled and hair a mess, you ran towards your room, gently opening the door, mind reeling at the horrific realization that you had overslept until noon, and you had practically left Zandik starving— if he was even still in here.

When your eyes searched on your bed, for any signs that he remained there, asleep or perhaps reading his book, you feel your stomach drop when you realize he wasn't. You searched your home; the kitchen, the bathroom, your storage room, your living area— now where the hell was he? He couldn't have possibly left, right?

The last place you checked was your home office, where relief flooded your entire body when you finally found him, standing on his tippy-toes to reach a book from your shelf, far above his height. Sighing as you straightened yourself up, you approached him silently, eyeing the book he was trying to reach… An advanced topic of your class, it seems.

"Hey there," You say casually, head tilting to the side as you observed him.

The boy jolted from your sudden presence, a small, frightened gasp leaving his lips, eyes wide and the book in his hand is pulled back behind his head, ready to throw it at you if you even dare to move a muscle. You raise your brows questioningly, hands above your shoulders as a gesture of surrender.

When he saw it was just you, his body instantly relaxed, lowering his book and leaving you unharmed. Though, he remained on guard, with a narrowed gaze at your face, before scrutinizing your appearance. "You look… foul."

Frowning at his words, you cross your arms in defense, "I just woke up, okay?" You huff when you see him roll his eyes— this kid got some attitude in him, huh?

"I thought you've already died, given your age." Zandik turns away from you, not able to see the way you put your hand to your chest and express your shock, in disbelief at how easy it was for him to let insults roll from his tongue.

"Excuse me, I am quite young, thank you very much!" You say that without much conviction. Thinking back on the times you've looked at yourself at the mirror, you've lost count of the white strands of hair you've plucked out just this week alone. You shake your head, pursing your lips at the boy before you.

"Could've fooled me," He said with a lilt of condescension in his voice, and subtle aggression hiding beneath his breath, "People around your age tend to die in their sleep."

Quite morbid, you say to yourself, mild irritation spreading beneath your skin, as Zandik proceeded to busy himself by reading some books he had picked out of your bookshelf, though it was obvious to you that he wasn't really focused at it at all. He had his gaze stuck onto you, right on his peripheral vision, and you see him picking the edge of the pages, as if he was anxious about something.

About you.

That made you pause, mouth closing and refraining whatever reply you were about to say. Pursuing this sort of banter would be more damaging than anything else, you thought.

You do not want to think of him as ungrateful, despite how he is acting now. A brash judgment will go against your very morals as a professor at the Akademiya, especially when other professors tend to judge quickly of others, and their own students; so you look at him in a different perspective.

Perhaps he was merely vulnerable last night, which is why he had been more… soft— easier to get along with, compared to the boy at present.

That was fine, you think, considering you have no idea where he came from, who he truly was, or what he had experienced. If it were any other person, you'd imagine that they'd cast him away at this mere petty interaction, taking him as a brat— but you'd like to differ, allowing a gentle smile stretch your lips instead of letting your frustration win over you.

"I thought you'd be gone by now," You start again, hands on your hips as you gazed at him kinder eyes, despite the prominent exhaustion that continued to linger.

That made him grip on the book tight, and you see him bite his bottom lip— a nervous habit, you assume, before slowly turning his head towards you, brows furrowed. "…Should I have left earlier, then?" His eyes was downcast, not having the strength to properly look at you now, shuffling his feet, awaiting your reply.

Your heart clenched at this reaction, taking a few steps towards him and giving a soft pat on his shoulder. "No, I'm glad that you're still here. I was worried you already left when I woke up," You laugh at yourself, scratching your cheek sheepishly as the boy's tense posture visibly relaxed. "C'mon, I'll cook you some breakf— lunch, you must be hungry." The boy could only nod at you, hugging the book in his hands tightly against his chest, allowing you to lead him towards your kitchen.

Now, you weren't particularly sure what the boy liked to eat. He hasn't really spoken much about himself, and when you asked what he'd like for lunch, he just shrugged and continued reading the book. So, you were stuck staring at your available ingredients. Glancing back at Zandik, you could assume that he could handle his spice well, considering the amounts of spice you added to the rice on the Biryani you ate last night to satiate yourself.

After searching your cabinets and pantries, all the ingredients you had in hand clearly directed you to cook a curry dish… As for the meat, you currently have none. "Damn," You cursed under your breath as you rushed past Zandik, who eyed you curiously, but didn't question it. Grabbing the most decent clothing you have in your room, you threw on a less crumpled shirt and some pants— also fixing your hair, before grabbing your coin purse, "I'll be right back kid, just gonna go for a quick grocery run."

The boy only hummed in acknowledgement, turning the pages of the book he had laid on the dinner table, but you don't miss the way his leg nervously bounced as you closed the door shut.

Shrimp Curry. Easy to make, quite the popular homemade dish in Sumeru.

It it was no match to whatever wall it has around Zandik's heart. He was scarfing down all the food you prepared for him like it was nothing— quickly chewing, before gulping and shoving another spoonful of rice.

You could tell he wanted to keep his nonchalant act intact, but before him lies every mortal weakness: home cooked meals.

"Slow down, or you'll choke on yourself," You lightly scold him, already handing him a second serving of the Shrimp Curry. You were right to trust on your gut to put more shrimp than you'd usually do, especially when the kid you took in had a monstrous appetite.

He seemed to snapped out of whatever food-driven trance he was in, and decided to chew a little slower, taking the time to savor the spices on his tongue.

As you ate with Zandik, you couldn't help but be curious about his choice of books— a vast majority of your collection related most to your Darshan, which was Amurta. The most he'd find on your bookshelves are textbooks and documents on biology, ecology and medicine, leaning more on botany; which is why one section of your home looked similarly to a greenhouse.

Zandik seemed to be completely invested in it as well, following along every word etched on each page, navigating through the annotations you've carefully put onto your book throughout your entire career, finger sliding across every line as he chewed on his food. It was… intriguing, to say that least. "Are you in Amurta?" You decided to ask, head tilting when the boy didn't even spare you even a simple glance.

"No," He said simply at first, turning a page in silence. You wanted to huff at his one-worded response, but you just took it as a note that he probably didn't want to talk much, or to you, for that matter. Yet, it seemed like he couldn't bare to just say one word and finish the conversation just there, given the small, frantic glance and pursed lips. "…I'm in Vahumana."

You hum in response, now more curious than ever, "Oh? Then why are you reading a book about botany— advanced botany at that… I haven't even taught most of that to my 2nd year class yet, that's for the next semester." Despite being a professor in Amurta, your collection still had books that fit more in different Darshans; bought out of boredom or acquiring knowledge that was out of your comfort zone, it was always good to be curious of things that are not of your main profession. "I have quite the books on aetiology,"

"Why not?" Was his defensive answer, eyes narrowed at you as he pulls the book closer to him. "Why should I be limited to learning just aetiology? Am I not allowed to learn beyond it? To read other books?" Zandik poured more accusations faster than your mind could process, leaving you quite flustered and at a loss for a proper response.

"I… I wasn't saying any of that?" It was the only thing you could say in the midst of his fit, rubbing the back of your neck with a wavering smile on your lips. Unfortunately for you, it seemed to only further agitate Zandik, his whole posture tense, and he had began loudly tapping his foot.

He clicked his tongue, evidently irritated, or was he nervous? Nevertheless, he chose for his words with the intent to sting, "Then why say anything at all? You were clearly insinuating as such." Zandik spat with such venom that you couldn't wrap your head around it.

Who hurt this child? You've said nothing to provoke him, yet he had taken every word you spoke as if it was a personal offense to his entire being, choosing to be wary eternally wary of you.

But perhaps your befuddled expression had caused Zandik to soften— his hateful gaze faltered and his eyes trailed back down to his empty plate, the tapping of his foot growing louder, and the lines under his eyes seemed to grow more exaggerated. Perhaps, he doesn't even realize he was acting out, or why, for that matter.

You've caught yourself in a lot of trouble, huh?

"…I was just curious," You smile when he started once again, patiently listening to what he has to tell, "Searching for the causation of many things include biology, so as a student of Vahumana, I thought that I should explore other topics, as well."

"That's a rather good mentality to have," You praised, nodding approvingly, to which Zandik responded with an unsure look towards you, "Not a lot of shares the same sentiments towards their research, so it is quite rare to have someone with the same thoughts." You then chuckle nervously, scratching your cheek as you think of better words to say, "Well, a few of my, uhm, colleagues, encourage a more close-minded approach— not to undermine their methods, of course, it's just…" Faltering at the very end, Zandik merely scoffed.

Rolling his eyes at the notion, "I can tell… It reeks of unjust judgment and hypocrisy throughout the Akademiya. My experiences has all been so unpleasant; students and professors alike too absorbed in their own works, and they dare think they are truly befitting for title of 'scholar'? They're laughably pathetic," Zandik admits with a lilt of bitterness in his tone, fingers fiddling with the fork on his hand, lightly scraping it against his plate. But suddenly, he casts his sights onto you, narrowed once more, but less scrutinizing— more of an observation, this time. "Why are you so different, then?"

"We're all victims of the same system, I'm afraid; I was merely wise enough not to submit so easily to such unfairness." You cracked an amused grin as you thought back to your Akademiya days, chuckling to yourself, "Would you believe me if I told you that they were actually stricter in the previous years before yours?"

Zandik frowns at that, but he seemed to be delightfully interested, "Surely not— I could barely think at the Sage breathing down my neck whenever I try to submit papers that was 'unethical', in his words."

You couldn't help the way your shoulders shake as you laughed, covering your lips to remain polite, "It's true! Me and my peers did the impossible to put out our papers, even if our professors tried so hard to disapprove it!"

And so you talked,

and talked,

and talked.

About aetiology, his studies, and future projects that he has began drafting and needs your help for a peer review— about botany, and the plants that bloomed in the sand, a new discovery that you have been trying to write a paper on than you'd like to have his opinion on.

Rarely anything about yourselves as a person, but that was fine, you think. Zandik still doesn't know who you are, as much as you do not know him. It was a bridge you're willing to form slowly, letting the boy to willingly connect it with you.

Until there was nothing to talk about— voice rasping and dry, time flew by as if it was nonexistent, too absorbed in the knowledge given, and taken from each other. The sun was beginning to set by the time you've finished doing the dishes, while you've allowed Zandik to use your personal office to study and complete his homework, as well as reading whatever book that may find his interest.

You, on the other hand, finally bathed yourself, changing into more suitable and comfortably clothing, before finally settling at your kitchen table. And damn, you really got yourself carried away, you'd almost forgotten how much papers you actually had to grade and check, all needed to be returned by tomorrow.

First thing's first, you have to check on your Akasha Terminal, which you accidentally left on your couch, where you had slept for the night. You hadn't realized that it's been beeping and vibrating— probably a bunch of notifications that you've forgotten to check once ever since you've fallen asleep, and awoken in the middle of the day. Putting the terminal back on your left ear, you activated it and let the holographic visor engulf your vision, to which you were bombarded with various messages from your peers.

The most worrying one, though, was from the Grand Sage, with the title [URGENT] on his message. "This ought to be good," You murmur to yourself as you quickly opened his messages, only to see a massive block of text, practically exceeding the message limit. Okay, you were starting to get freaked out, sitting down on your couch just to be safe from whatever you are about to read. "What the—?"

You barely got through half of the message when the Grand Sage sent you another message.

[URGENT; Meet me at the House of Daena. Now.

Sweat dripped down the back of your neck, dread creeping at the back of your throat.

"Shit."

The Grand Sage of the Akademiya of your generation was not very fond of you.

You don't blame the old man, considering the fact that you, and a bunch of the previous students that has graduated since and made a name for themselves, gave him a fair share of trouble. What would be considered sins to the Akademiya, deemed as respectable research that challenged the very foundational belief of the entire system.

Instead of suffering in silence, you chose to fight for what you believe in. Unfortunately, this cost you the favorability of the Grand Sage towards you, which he tend to pile lots more responsibilities on your already swamped workload.

Though, it is quite worrying as to why the Grand Sage called you in now, of all times, especially on a Sunday. How important could this be for him to call you in personally? Just thinking about it sent chills down your spine. One could only assume that this was about Zandik, since he did send you his student files for you to read, although you did not have time to do so, since he urgently asked for your presence.

Taking slow, careful steps towards the library, you think about Zandik's reaction when you told him you had to leave again— only this time, with a much different, more important purpose.

"The Grand Sage?" He looked troubled as he watched you put on your uniform, straightening yourself up to look presentable. "Why would he ask for you now? It's like, 5 in the afternoon on a nonworking day…" You didn't miss the way he toyed with the ends of his sleeves, eyes darting nervously at his hands and to your figure.

"Something came up," Was what you had told him, and that did not help with easing whatever reason he was anxious about. "Don't worry, I won't take long." Giving him a comforting pat on the back, that was your last interaction with him after you left. You hoped he'd do well on his own, he seemed really agitated when you mentioned the Grand Sage, sharp teeth biting at his nails and pacing around your office for almost a minute.

Sighing deeply through your nose, your steps echoes as you traversed inside the library. An impending headache was about to come to you, you could feel it, and you rub your temples in an attempt to remedy it. Searching around the massive halls of books, your eyes scanned the area, finding whichever place the Grand Sage picked for your meeting.

Usually, House of Daena would be packed with students, especially with this upcoming finals in just two week's time. But at this moment, it was almost completely empty, only a few stragglers here and there, most of them are of on their last years of college.

Finally spotting the Grand Sage, who was sitting nearly at the very back of the library, brooding all by his lonesome, you grit your teeth. You stop yourself from letting out a disgruntled groan, kicking yourself to just walk over where he was and get this over with. Archons, may they lend you strength, you do not want to meet up with this man right now.

"There you are, professor," His wrinkly hand gestured you to sit across him, though hurriedly, you obliged to his command, nodding at him as a greeting. "I am glad you are able to come, though it is later than what I'd like." He glowered at you with that same, unimpressed stare, tossing your side of the table some documents. "You did not respond to any of my messages for the past 10 hours. Where is your urgency, professor?"

Immediately, you felt flustered. You'd always try to keep yourself in a good image for everyone, not because you were self-conscious, but it was to avoid situations like these.

The man already hates your guts, you can't give him another reason to make you suffer.

"I… apologize for my lack of professionalism, Grand Sage. I have no excuse for my behavior." You turned your head down, an act of easy defeat. While you might've been a headstrong student who fought against the system when you were younger— things were different now. You were an adult with a job, something you can't afford to lose. He was your superior, and you are expected to respect that, no matter how much you want to grind your teeth in seething rage.

He seemed satisfied at that, a smug smirk on his lips as he watched you practically wallow in your own mistakes, before urging you to open the document he handed you, to which you complied by scanning the files as much as you could.

Huh? That's odd— Zandik's student record is… not good.

Lots of complaints, not only from your colleagues, but also other students, and even staff at the Akademiya. Almost all of his proposals are rejected, or up for further discussion, but has not been appealed for more than 30 days. His grades are subpar at best but… He seemed so intelligent and wise from all the moments you've spoken to each other, and the fact that he could easily comprehend a topic that was way above his level; it just doesn't make sense to you.

No record of a family, or relatives to contact, either.

"You've got yourself a quite troublesome child, professor. Recently, his foster family contacted me that he was to be kicked out of their home."

That caught you by surprise, eyes flicking up to the Grand Sage, who looked back at you with a very serious expression. He was not joking about it at all. "What? Why?" Foster family? What happened to his biological family?

The Grand Sage sighs, turning his gaze to the bookshelves strewn across the halls, tapping his finger on his arm thoughtfully. "They were convinced he was cursed, or something the like. Nothing but damnation to their family, and was a massive brat. The knowledge he seeks is, by any means, forbidden, and the family could not handle him anymore." He explained carefully, as if he was trying to tie the words together for you to understand, and frankly, you are not making sense of anything at this point.

You opened your mouth to argue, that no, he's none of those things, and that they were wrong. He was obviously hurt, and he still is, and he needed a lot of patience, space and support to properly heal. Zandik is a brilliant kid, he was just… in the wrong environment to grow.

"If you had not picked up that child that night, then we probably wouldn't have to deal with him any further, considering his horrible records." The old man continued, but his choice was… odd, and you had this disgusting feeling, squeezing at your chest.

What's that supposed to mean?

Choosing not to mention it for the sake of your sanity, you peer over his files again with your lips pressed in a thin line. "Then why did you call me in here? Surely its not just to… talk badly about Zandik, right?"

Wildly enough, he smiled at you and laced his fingers together, placing them down gently on the wooden table. Uh oh, you don't like that face at all. "Since you graciously decided to help him, we decided that you would be fitting as his new foster family"

You blinked at his words.

"What?"

"You heard me professor, there's no need for me to repeat it." He says sternly, but your mind was reeling faster than you could process. "The boy stays with you, whether you like it or not." The finality in his tone was not something you liked at all, and your heart sank. This has already been decided from the start, and they are not giving you an option to refuse.

"Wait wait wait, why me? Who decided this? Why was I not informed!?" You were beginning to raise your voice, frantically trying to recollect yourself, but you couldn't. You can't raise a child!

Unimpressed, once again, the old man merely fixed his glasses, shaking his head disapprovingly at your reaction. "Since you did not reply to my messages, me and the other Sages have already decided for you. The responsibility now lies on your shoulders." The Grand Sage smiles sickeningly sweet at you, as if your situation was mere entertainment to him. "I'm sure you can handle it."

"…Just like that?" You mutter, unable to comprehend what just had happened. The Grand Sage nodded, the smile never leaving his lips.

No test to see if you were a capable provider? No welfare check? Your financial stability? Or anything to make sure your home was a stable shelter for a growing child? Do you even get subsidy for this? You're now his legal guardian, as stated by the new set of documents he tossed into your hands.

How insane and careless can the Akademiya be? Do they just not care about Zandik at all? What if you were incapable? What if you were someone else that could harm him? What then?

"Grand Sage I… I'm honored at this opportunity, but I can't be a parent!" You try to argue, hoping to be heard and get through him for once, but with the frown that was now on his lips, you know you've already lost him, "I can care for a bunch of cats, sure, but a human being? A growing child?"

You were going to have a heart attack just thinking about it.

"I'm sorry, but I am going to refuse this. I'm just… not capable of caring for another human being— especially when I am going to be alone in this, while I'm a professor at the Akademiya!" Yet your heart screamed at you, to just agree and take him in as your own. You can see his hurt, his struggle; every time you tried to talk about his family, he refused, face shifting into a scowl. You knew that it was a tough subject for him, and being kicked out by his foster family? It's almost ridiculous for you to even consider refusing this.

You want to see him grow, to have a better life to what he has now, because you know he deserves it after all the things he has been through, but you're just not sure if you could offer that stability. You've never been responsible for another person's life, and it's definitely a lot harder than caring for plants or cats.

"Hmph, I suppose I can't blame you for not wanting him either; I should have expected less of you, professor." Was his final statement, a blow to your already wavering will as you feel yourself seethe. Insulting your image was not something you cared about, especially if it came from his mouth, but Zandik?

"That's not what I said—"

You hear a loud thud behind you, right at the bookshelves. A breathless pause, and you see the Grand Sage smile again, only this time, the shine in his glasses almost blinded you. You slowly turned your head, heart racing in your chest as you feared for the worst; amidst the piles of books and papers scattered across the floor— there stood Zandik, fists clenched on his sides, trembling while his head was down.

It dawned to you far too slow, absolutely mortified, and before you know it, he was gone. Zandik's footsteps echoes across the empty halls of the House of Daena, and you stood from your seat, the wooden chair scraping against the floor as you spared the Grand Sage one last look.

He knew he was there all along, listening to your conversation and choosing the harshest words for Zandik to hear.

It was on purpose, he blindsided you.

You don't dwell on it— you don't have the time right now. All your thoughts were just about Zandik, and how must he have felt when you said those words. Rejection; you knew it was something that he was struggling to cope with, you could easily tell with how defensive he can be at any hint that you are rejecting him in any sort of way.

But you do want to care for him. It wasn't a case of whether you wanted to take him in or not, it was a matter of your own capabilities as a person responsible for another life. You are inexperienced, unprepared.

It doesn't stop you for searching for him, reaching out and calling his name in the sea of people, lost in the tides of the market. It was all a blur as you went out your way to seek Zandik; the loud voices in the market, chattering and hollering to attract customers, to the students that tried to get your attention, asking for your assistance or your thoughts on certain, irrelevant things.

It didn't matter at that moment, did it? All you wanted to see was Zandik.

That random kid at your door, the one you let into the warmth of your home. You don't know how, but you've found yourself more attached than you would have liked; perhaps it was you cannot bare to see him all on his own, or see how brilliant his ideas were, only for his eyes to be full of distrust and uncertainty. He had been pleasant company, despite his terrible attitude, and his curiosity was honest, pure.

You should've said yes at the start.

The fireflies lit up the night skies, alike the stars twinkling above. The moon stares down at your tired form, cool winds blowing along your skin, making the leaves dance from the tree that looms before you— yet you continued to scour on, not stopping your search until you've seen Zandik once again.

Sumeru City was does not have that big of an area, you should've seen him by now, unless he kept moving as you searched. Your Akasha Terminal has been beeping for what it felt like hours, irritating, yet ceaseless chiming in your left ear— the Grand Sage was probably spamming you messages again, and guessing by how well you've known him, he was growing angrier in your silence towards him, even if the sun has already left, he still wished for you to gather the documents you left.

Less people roamed around the Akademiya at this hour, retreating at the comforts of their home, and finally letting their head rest on their beds. You, on the other hand, remained outside, wondering where Zandik could be.

It's already so late, and you were starting to get worried. He wouldn't have left the city, right? At this point and time, as much as you liked living in Sumeru, it was lethally dangerous outside of the city, especially when the Withering was running rampant throughout the forest. If it comes to a point, you'll have to get in touch with the Corps of Thirty.

It cannot be helped, it was night and your stomach was rumbling. You walk back home in defeat, head in your hands as the cold finally became unbearable. It was quiet, eerie, the low chirping of crickets filling in the silence, but your mind remained restless. You just hoped that Zandik would turn up sooner or later, you were so worried for him, and your heart cannot take much more of this.

Until you heard soft sniffling, hiccuping and short gasps of breath, with a voice that sounded much too familiar, not to far away from you. Your eyes trailed onto your front porch and, surprisingly, there he was— hugging his knees, head down as he silently cried.

Has he been there the entire time? No, he couldn't have been, you checked the entire city, including your home. You've even asked people who may have seen him in passing, to which they'd all frown and shake their head. You suppose he decided to come back all by himself, on his own accord.

And for a fleeting moment, you hesitated; how are you supposed to approach this kid?

He has heard you say things that has caused this bitter misunderstanding, yet you do not want to outright say that he was wrong. Zandik's emotions are valid, he was allowed to cry over something, whether he had mistaken it or not.

You held back a sigh. This is one of the reasons why you think you won't be a good caretaker. You are not sure how to approach such delicate situations like these— you don't want to break someone further, one who is already so vulnerable and fragile.

So you sit beside him, right on your wooden porch, surrounded by the potted plants and flora you have surrounding your home, and letting him sob all to himself. You see him tense at your presence, alert, hiccuping and hugging himself tighter, yet he doesn't pull away from you.

And you wait for him in silence, staring up into the night sky and counting the stars. You map the constellations before you, naming them in your mind, all the while Zandik's cries slowly simmered down into soft sniffles, and trembling breaths. You did not rush, or force him, though you may have wanted to comfort him, to hold him in your arms and tell him it was okay— you just chose to be there for him.

Finally, as his cries was reduced into simple tears that threatened to still fall from his eyes, he spoke to you, with a low, raspy tone, "…You didn't want me." Zandik's voice cracks, muffled as his head remained down, gripping on his clothes, knuckles turning white. He muttered it so weakly, so fragile, that your heart can't help but break into pieces.

But this wasn't about you, even if your chest felt too heavy to bear, so you chose to be strong, just for his sake. "That's not true," You reasoned lightly, slowly turning your gaze towards him with a gentle gaze. "I did not say such things."

Zandik merely scoffs, biting back another sob as he rolled his eyes at that sheer ridiculousness. "Don't lie, I've known you hated me in the first place… Like everyone does. I shouldn't be surprised— I shouldn't have hoped for anything…" And he sounded so sure of it, as if everything what he believed as a mere fact, no matter how much it hurt for him to say.

"I don't hate you." It was quick to leave your lips, natural and honest. Zandik didn't like that.

"Well then, you should! Everyone already thinks I'm some kind of monster, a freak! So why shouldn't you!?" He finally raised his head; eyes puffy and red, snot dripping down his nose and, amidst the anger and hatred in his glare, you can see the faintest sliver of hope in his eyes, the genuine fear, the slightest belief that he could be wrong about you. "Why should you be different than everyone else!?"

"Because I've come to like spending time with you."

You watch Zandik visibly swallow at that, taken aback at your statement, and the mask he wears crumbles bit by bit. He searched your eyes again— for any lie that you may say to him, trying to reach that this was just a horrid joke.

And you take his silence as a chance to say your part, giving him a soft smile, like you always do, "I know this was very sudden, the whole foster family thing… I can't imagine how you feel about it, but I do know one thing; it's that I do care about you, Zandik." You watch him open his mouth, wanting to say something but he falters, brows furrowed, lips quivering. "We've only known each other for a few hours, sure, but I guess it's just natural for me to care about others… Be it a stray cat, a withering plant, or some random kid I let in at midnight, I all see them as something… precious."

It was as if he cannot fathom that concept, that what you say is true, even if he was hoping for it. "You said it yourself, we've only known each other for such a small time… How can you look at me and say I'm precious?" Zandik hiccups in between his words, eyes shimmering with tears all over again, "What if I'm not?" It was barely above a whisper, so uncertain.

"You are," You push, though you do not force it, you try to enforce that he is not beneath anything to be undeserving of love, "To me, you are one of the most precious beings out there."

It was sickening to hear, like thick honey pouring into Zandik's ears and drowning him in sweetness that he cannot begin to accept— not when he had only known bitterness. "But you don't even know me…!"

"Then let's get to know each other more."

The silence that followed was dense; atmosphere almost unbearable to breathe in. You aren't sure if you've said the right things to him, or if it was enough to get through the impenetrable walls that he has built around his heart over the years of his suffering, but you had hope, you do not let yourself falter in front of him.

So you continue, when he casts his eyes down to his palms, watching his fingers that was littered with tiny scars and bruises uncontrollably tremble, "I'm sorry for what you have heard from my conversation with the Grand Sage. The truth it… I wasn't ready." And you were wholeheartedly honest with it, sighing as you look back up into the night skies, towards the twinkling skies that did nothing to comfort you, "I wasn't sure if I could provide the life you deserve— I have lived alone for the entirety of my adulthood… For so long, I was unsure what it meant to have a family to come home to, aside from the plants and cats that rely on me for their sustenance. It was terrifying to think that a human being would need to rely on me, too."

At the corner of your eye, Zandik sucks in a breath, and shut his eyes to a close. His shoulders loose, and drooping, as if he was already accepting his impeding rejection, for the nth time of his life. "But now, the more I think about it… I'm sure I can sacrifice a bit more of myself, just to see you thrive." You smile at him again, turning your eyes back at him, "I may be uncertain of the future, but… As a fellow scholar, you should understand that it is both in our best interest to explore this new territory. I know that I can assure that I can, and will do my best to support you."

Zandik opens his eyes, his hands now at his chest, brows furrowed in confusion, yet you still see what remains of his hope, sparkling under the moon's light. You can't help but chuckle at his somberly expectant expression, "I'll take you in as part of my family, even if it'll only be just the two of us."

It happened slowly; the wind blowing was all you could hear, amidst your breaths. You watch as his face morphs— from something so disgusted, full of disbelief and anguish of what you just have said, extreme denial and repulsion… Slowly melting into this melancholic frown, with tears rolling down his round cheeks as he struggled to hold back his relieved sobs. He cannot stand the anger any longer, the hate, that never ending cycle of bringing himself down, just because it was what he was led to believe.

The mask shatters, and the pieces along with it was impossible to pick upon himself. Zandik breaks down, inconsolable wails wracking his entire form as he buries his face into his palms. For a while, you were speechless, you weren't sure if there was any words that he would want to hear anymore, and if you should just let him cry it all out.

In the end, you decided to spread your arms, opening them wide, merely offering him a side hug, if he even was comfortable with it— you didn't expect him to throw himself at you, completely wrapping his arms around your torso as he sobs onto your chest, wetting your shirt and smearing his snot.

You did not scold him for doing so, nor did you stop him. You only sighed contently as you hugged him back, squeezing him tightly in your arms as you gently patted his head, fingers carding through the strands of his hair and soothing his cries. "It's alright, Zandik, let it all out… I'm here for you, don't worry." You feel him nod against you, shaking within your hold and refusing to let go. "I've got you, okay? I won't leave you."

And gods, if there was any higher beings in the skies that was left to hear him, if he was not completely damned by his fate just yet— he prayed that what you were saying was true.

5:32 AM, Monday morning.

You barely got any sleep from the night before; your back was killing you, and a headache was stabbing at your brain, all across your damned cranium.

Yesterday felt extremely surreal, you had to check in on Zandik multiple times when you woke up every hour, your sleep repetitively disturbed by your anxious mind. All the while Zandik slept comfortably, who you let continue using your room to sleep, even though he tearfully forced your to sleep on your own bed instead and have him sleep on your couch.

Of course, you didn't allow that at all. The moment his eyes closed, body melting against the tough cushions of your couch as the exhaustion finally hit him all at once, soft snores emitting from his lips— you carried him into your arms, and tucked him into your bed.

Now, you stood at your kitchen counter, cooking breakfast for the two of you, sipping the most bitter tasting coffee you've ever drank in your life, in hopes that you'll wake up. Eyes heavy, refusing to cooperate as you almost burnt vegetables in your pan.

You were grueling the miserable fact that you have to go to work today, given the fact you haven't updated your lesson plan, or checked any of your students' papers. It didn't help that you're still practically ghosting your boss, who've been bombing your inbox since yesterday.

Ugh, you just want to crawl under your blanket and pass out for another 10 hours. Although, it seemed that you are in no perfect condition to teach your classes. You promised your pupils high quality lessons, so you are not coming in with such a frazzled state of mind.

In the mean time, you'll have to announce beforehand that they won't be having classes today…

Whilst you tapped into your Akasha Terminal, you hear a small yawn coming from behind, small, slow footsteps dragging across the wooden floors as you were suddenly rejuvenated at Zandik's sudden appearance, looking at him with wide eyes as the visor disappeared from your sight. "Oh, good morning kiddo, you're up early." You state, grabbing yourselves two sets of plates and splitting the meal you cooked for the both of you evenly.

The boy just yawned in response, though he seemed to have a dissatisfied look on his face when you finally sat across him. "You put me on your bed." Though, try as he might, his glare came off more of an adorable pout as he grabbed his spoon and fork, "I said I could sleep on the couch last night."

"Hmm, yes, I did hear you." Was all you could reply with a smile, as you stuff your mouth with rice, humming contently to yourself. Zandik continued to frown at that, now more awake than he had previously been, narrowing his eyes at you.

"You did not respect my wishes." He quickly countered your statement, pointing his fork at you, clearly unimpressed.

"I wanted you to be comfortable."

"I wanted you to be comfortable, too!"

You grin at that, raising your brows at his choice of words. "Oh? Really now? That's very thoughtful of you, Zandik." There was a lilt of teasing in your tone, unable to help yourself as finally caught onto what you meant.

Only then did he realize what he had said, freezing in embarrassment as his face turned red, cheeks flushed, his eyes now fully glaring at you. "I-it's not because it means anything, okay! This is your house, so it just makes sense!" You giggle lightly at the way he tries to deny it, fighting against what is already so obvious. "Don't misconstrue my intentions!"

"Alright alright, whatever you say…" You covered your lips to hide the last of your laughter, yet you cannot hide the way your shoulders shake as you do, watching him chew angrily on his food.

As the tension finally simmered down into something calmer, you decided to tell him your plans for the day. "I won't be at the Akademiya for today to teach, I have some extra things to do so you can properly integrate yourself here from now on." You rub the back of your neck as you gave yourself a sip of your coffee, trying to make your fatigue not evident to Zandik, but he was always so intuitive when it comes to your reactions.

"I forgot to do a bunch of stuff yesterday, so I can't really show my face to my students just yet." You waved it off, though you were slightly bothered by yesterdays fiasco, it was for a good reason, anyways. But Zandik thought otherwise, recalling the massive piles of papers you had on the dinner table before you left to meet up with the Grand Sage, all left forgotten because he distracted you.

"…M'sorry for the trouble." Zandik meekly muttered in between his bites of his breakfast, and you hear his foot lightly tapping on the floor. "It's my fault you—"

You shook your head in dismissal, reaching out for his hand into yours to reassure him, "No no, it's alright, there's no need for you to apologize." You soothed him, your thumb rubbing circles on the back of his hand, and soon, he calmed down, "Its all worth it, so it's all good."

Zandik stared at you for a moment, fighting back a smile that was emerging from his lips, but you see a sparkle in his eyes. "You're weird, you know?"

Snorting at that, you lightly roll your eyes. "Yeah yeah whatever, just eat up and take a bath."

As soon as Zandik left to attend his classes, you immediately got to work. Firstly, you had to meet up with the Grand Sage once again— this time, in his office on top of House of Daena, where he made you sign multiple pages of a contract you thoroughly read.

And of course, after regaining the last embers of the fire that has long died back when you were still a student, you fought for your rights to get a raise, now that you were managing your life with a child. The Grand Sage eventually had to begrudgingly give in, since you made it clear that you won't leave until he gave you what you were asking for.

Well, by law, he was required to, anyways.

Your next agenda, making sure Zandik is comfortable in your home.

Zandik's foster parents were not pleasant to be around, and that was a lot coming from you, considering that you are a professor. While you've mostly handled classes for the 1st to 4th year college students, where most of them are young adults, you've also taken the job as a highschool professor when you first applied for a job at the Akademiya.

That meant you had to speak a lot of students' parents, regarding their grades and behavior if you ever needed to, so you have met all sorts of parents in your time as a professor.

But one could not have prepared for this couple right before you, who had rolled their eyes as soon as you've told them that you were there to pick up Zandik's old things that he never got the opportunity to take back from them.

You tried to speak with them, you really did, but they'd blow their cigars right at your face and make you almost cough out a lung, swatting away the smoke that you're desperately trying not to inhale, and then tossed a heavy box straight in your arms, before pushing you out of their home and almost making you trip over yourself.

They were… quite rude, to say the least, but it was certainly not the worst you have interacted with. You were more concerned over the clothes he had inside of the box.

Tattered and mostly dirtied, some even had small blood stains on them. That deeply concerned you, mostly for Zandik's well-being for the entire duration he has spent with his foster family, but also because you saw an infant's crib in one of the rooms you've managed to get a peek of.

You should probably contact the Corps of Thirty to do an investigation over them.

Aside from his clothes, the things he has on his person was very limited, it was less than a child should have. A plushie of what you recognized as an Aranara— a chubby, blue one with a wide hat and a curly leaf on top, along with a derpy smile on it's face, and a few books with various topics; Khaenri'an technology and history, the dragons residing in Natlan and their devolution, a few tales of the past, and a book of various anatomies of different living species in Teyvat.

A curious collection indeed, but you didn't question it. It was nice for a kid like him to be so curious of a lot of different things, exploring his options and learning far more than anyone would want to.

Since you were already outside, it wouldn't hurt to go to the market and surprise Zandik by buying him a couple of things.

And by a couple of things, you meant a lot, actually.

You had to call one of your friends to help you bring them all back to your home, with the promise of treating them out sometime in return.

It wasn't that much, since he is moving in, after all; just a new mattress, bed frame, a wardrobe that was imported from a well-known craftsman in Liyue, a few clothes that was probably his size, a handful of wooden miniature figurines of Aranaras that caught your attention (they were paintables… perhaps you and Zandik can paint them together in your free time), and a few more books that you were sure you didn't have in your own, personal collection just yet.

Some might say that you may have gotten out of hand buying things for Zandik, but surely this isn't enough for a kid.

It was quite an easy decision for you to give Zandik his own room. He seemed like a person who really valued his own privacy, since he was always so distant when it comes to things that are truly hard for him to open up to you, so this is probably the best choice for him.

The room you picked as a rather old library that the previous homeowner, who was also a scholar at the Akademiya, has left behind. It was mostly bookshelves full of books, a window to let in natural sunlight whilst you read, and a cushion for you to sit on. There was also a door that connected directly to your room, so if Zandik has urgent matters, he could probably just knock there, especially at night.

Rolling up your sleeves, you silently got to work. You moved some of the bookshelves into your office to give his room more space, but you left a few of them bigger ones for him to put his own collection in. You moved in the bed frame, put the mattress on it, as well as covered it with new, freshly cleaned sheets, then put his plushie in the middle of his pillows. Then, you moved his wardrobe in, filling it in with clothes you bought just for him.

You cleaned the room, to which you ended up covered in dust, replaced the curtains and placed the rest of his stuff into the bookshelves you let him have. Although you tried to make it as welcoming as possible, you aren't really sure what Zandik liked or his personal preferences, so for the most part, the room was left empty.

And with that, you were finished, wiping off the sweat off your forehead and drinking a cup of cold water for all of your hard work. It wasn't easy to do it alone, but you know it will all be worth it once Zandik sees this. You smile to yourself just thinking about it.

For the rest of the day, until the sun has began to set, you sit yourself in your office and began to do what you should have done days ago. You lined out your lesson plans for the next few days, accommodating it to the day you've lost due to your own carelessness, then went to go check on almost hundreds of pages of research from multiple classes, between different years and Darshans, and reading through them with clean precision and focus.

By the time you've finally leaned back and made your neck pop to relieve some stiffness, it was dark outside your window, and your hand was stained with red ink. Looking at the time in your Akasha terminal you saw that it was already 7 PM in the evening— there shouldn't be any classes left at that point.

Leaning back from your chair, you yawned as you stretched your entire body, legs buzzing from the numbness. You need to find Zandik before you could cook you both some dinner; a bit worried that he might've gotten into some trouble by other students, you went out in a rush.

Only to find him already at your front porch when you opened the door, arms full of small, mewling kittens, with a familiar looking cat rubbing against his legs. Oh, well, you found him faster than you thougt. You stared at each other for a short moment, both surprised at the sudden appearance, blinking dumbly, before Zandik grew flustered under your gaze. "Uhm…"

Choosing to not address the awkwardness, you decided to give attention to the cat between his ankles, "Ah, no wonder I haven't seen you yesterday, mama," You gently cooed as you got down to your knees to pet the cat, to which she aggressively bumped her head against your welcoming hands as she meowed at you loudly. "You gave birth! Without telling me!" You gently scold her as you rubbed her chin, feeling her purr on you.

"She couldn't have told you, anyways," Zandik grumbles to himself, slightly exasperated at the way your voice raised multiple pitches just to talk to the cat, but he doesn't really look quite intimidating when he has a litter of kittens in his arms. "Can I come in now? Their claws are digging in my skin…"

You gave the cat a few more loving cuddles, before you nodded at Zandik with a smile, standing up from the ground and opening the door wider for him and the cat to walk in. "Is there where you've been the entire time? Just playing with kittens?"

Zandik pursed his lips, eyes narrowed at you as he set down each kitten on the small cat bed you have in the living room, carefully laying them and letting the mama snuggle up on her kittens. "Of course not," He scoffs, petting the kittens and letting her lick his fingers, before he turned to you and crossing his arms, "I was studying." He says, yet his uniform was covered in cat fur.

Holding back a snort, you just nodded at him, trying to suppress a grin. "Sure, I'm just glad you're home safe." You reach out to give his head a gentle pat, but he visibly flinched away from your hand— and though it was the slightest of movement one could make that most would miss, you noticed the sudden freeze of his body.

You did not mention it, nor act like you saw it, you just pulled your hand away and offered him a kind smile instead, "You can go in my office and read something while I cook up some dinner for ourselves, okay?"

Only to find him already at your front porch when you opened the door, arms full of small, mewling kittens, with a familiar looking cat rubbing against his legs. Oh, well, you found him faster than you thougt. You stared at each other for a short moment, both surprised at the sudden appearance, blinking dumbly, before Zandik grew flustered under your gaze. "Uhm…"

Choosing to not address the awkwardness, you decided to give attention to the cat between his ankles, "Ah, no wonder I haven't seen you yesterday, mama," You gently cooed as you got down to your knees to pet the cat, to which she aggressively bumped her head against your welcoming hands as she meowed at you loudly. "You gave birth! Without telling me!" You gently scold her as you rubbed her chin, feeling her purr on you.

"She couldn't have told you, anyways," Zandik grumbles to himself, slightly exasperated at the way your voice raised multiple pitches just to talk to the cat, but he doesn't really look quite intimidating when he has a litter of kittens in his arms. "Can I come in now? Their claws are digging in my skin…"

You gave the cat a few more loving cuddles, before you nodded at Zandik with a smile, standing up from the ground and opening the door wider for him and the cat to walk in. "Is there where you've been the entire time? Just playing with kittens?"

Zandik pursed his lips, eyes narrowed at you as he set down each kitten on the small cat bed you have in the living room, carefully laying them and letting the mama snuggle up on her kittens. "Of course not," He scoffs, petting the kittens and letting her lick his fingers, before he turned to you and crossing his arms, "I was studying." He says, yet his uniform was covered in cat fur.

Holding back a snort, you just nodded at him, trying to suppress a grin. "Sure, I'm just glad you're home safe." You reach out to give his head a gentle pat, but he visibly flinched away from your hand— and though it was the slightest of movement one could make that most would miss, you noticed the sudden freeze of his body.

You did not mention it, nor act like you saw it, you just pulled your hand away and offered him a kind smile instead, "You can go in my office and read something while I cook up some dinner for ourselves, okay?"

It was an easy routine to fall to— cooking earlier than you would normally do, which would always be considered late by normal standards, just so you could prepare enough for both you and Zandik. All the while he'd do whatever he pleased, be it studying in your office, or sleeping on your bed (to which he still argues that he should sleep somewhere else).

The only difficult part was figuring out the portions for the both of you; you already know to yourself how much you'd regularly cook, but you aren't sure if Zandik actually has a big appetite, or was he just starved. Either way, cooking too much was probably a safe option— the rest could just be leftovers for a different meal.

And you share it, eating together, and talking about whatever that came to mind.

You asked about his day, and though he was evidently hesitant to start blabbering about it by answering questions with simple one worded answers, once you've struck on a particular subject that sparks his interests, he would start to ramble excessively about it in between his bites.

Of course, you listened intently to every word he had to say, nodding along and sharing your own thoughts whenever Zandik paused for you to have your brief turn.

Finally letting him do the dishes for a change (since he is a residence at your home, he has to help out with chores), you decided it was finally time.

"Hey Zandik," You call for him, standing right outside of your kitchen as Zandik wiped his wet hands on a towel, looking at you curiously, "There's something I want to show you."

"It better not be some kind of weird surprise," He huffs and crossed his arms, following your lead, walking across the hallway of your home, "I'm not too… fond of surprises." That made sweat bead at your forehead, hand stopping at the doorknob of the room you prepared just for him. Okay, well, should you still surprise him then?

Zandik, noticing your internal turmoil, blinking at the way you stared back at him dumbly while standing and doing nothing, he sighed as he jerked his head to the room. "…I can make this an exception."

With his permission, you smile again and opened the door wide, and let him step before you, watching him take in the view of his room.

"Ta-da!" You urge him inside, proudly puffing your chest as Zandik's eyes widened a small fraction, but to you, that meant a lot. "Your new room— kinda empty for now, but we can go shopping for things you wanna add in." You rub the back of your neck as you see him walking in, looking around then spots his bed, walking close to it to hold the Aranara plushie he had forgotten at his old foster home. "I also bought you some new clothes to wear; old ones are in a box though, in case you wanted to keep them."

Ultimately, Zandik doesn't say anything. He walked towards the bookshelves, eyeing the new ones you've bought and took great interest in them, touching the spines and humming to himself. You don't miss the small smile he tries to hide from you as his hands glide over the wooden Aranara mini figurines you bought.

It was hard to tell, but you're certain that he was grateful. A soft smile on his lips, shoulders drooped and relaxed, and bright eyes. He doesn't thank you, or has said a word to you— he doesn't even try to face you. You assumed that he'd have a hard time masking himself if he did, with the way his fingers trembled beside him.

His silence already spoke so loudly for you, enough to understand.

"If you ever need anything, I'm one knock away." Reminding him one last time as you point at the door that was connected to your room, "You can tell me anything, and I won't judge, okay?" It was a small nod, short and rigid, still not facing you, yet you smile.

You think he liked his room.

The next few days flew by in a blur.

While your routine didn't exactly change as much as you thought, it was still difficult to adjust to living with someone else in your own home, given that you've been all alone ever since you graduated from the Akademiya and stopped dorming.

You could tell that Zandik was trying to get used to it too— having someone easy to conversate with, not needing to tiptoe around the house and constantly walking on eggshells? It was… certainly different from his previous experiences, that much you could assume. There are times where he still reacts like how a frightened feral kitten would to a stranger, especially when you made sudden movements, but inevitably, he's been slowly accepting your presence on a day to day basis.

He's a good, obedient boy; doing chores without much of a complaint and studying very hard, even if you haven't even told him so. It was odd to see a child be more invested in his studies, rather than taking the time off for casual pleasantries, like socializing or playing.

It was worrying at first, so you tried to engaged him in a lot of activities that did not relate to his studies at all, like painting the Aranara figures you bought for him together (he made quite the mess on your dinner table, smearing prints of his hands on the surface— he was apologetic, but you honestly adored it), or going out on walks together.

Funnily enough, it became routine that Zandik would burst into your office without knocking, every 5 PM in the afternoon, hands on his hips as he urges you to stop whatever you're doing, just to go out for a walk together— no matter how much work you have left to do.

Of course, you can't just say no to that invitation, since it was rare for Zandik to leave your home unless it was to attend his classes, so you'd have no choice but to get up and let yourself be dragged by Zandik to your front door.

Usually, you'd stop at Razan Garden and just admire the view, breathing in the fresh air, then speak of various topics that interest you both. Or go to the market and shop together, which usually just ends up with you taking him to the cafe you used to always eat in back when you were a student.

Though, these are somewhat rare occurrences, even if you wanted to spend more time on him.

Most of your days were spent doing your job, and him being buried in his studies when you were far too busy. You feel quite guilty for not being able to balance your schedule completely; you could see it in his eyes that he wants to ask to do more things with you, but his own shyness, and still mistrustful self fights back, and the fact that you are responsible on handling a lot of classes this school year, it was just really hard to get by.

Of course, you don't often see him in the Akademiya as well— his classes are far from the college rooms that you use to teach your lessons in, and there were different cafeterias in various sections in the Akademiya.

Zandik was still distant, whether you liked it or not. You try to ask him about more personal things sometimes— though you never forced it, so he never really answered them himself, choosing silence among other things. He'd only ever speak about is his projects, ideas and topics in his class, or his research papers— or if its a necessary conversation.

You weren't even sure what foods he liked. You could assume that he likes most of the meals you cook… Though, mostly unsure of it since he eats whatever it is you give him, regardless if it was meat, seafood, or merely vegetables. He doesn't praise your cooking, nor insult it, but its more clearer when you gave him some homemade Baklava; to which he ate almost all of it, so close with leaving you none.

He also likes coffee? Not too bitter, of course, but he has mentioned in passing that he liked the smell. Awfully young for him to rely on coffee to stay awake, but alas, it is quite inevitable for an Akademiya student.

The attitude remained— talking back with snark, glaring and rolling his eyes— like you'd mostly expect from an angsty, moody teenager, but it was quite obvious to you that the mask that he has formed to protect himself was still in the process of shedding itself from him.

He was still unsure if he could bare himself raw and vulnerable to an adult, and that was fair, given that almost everyone has failed or has given up on him so soon.

Though, there was one thing that he could trust you on, and that was his studies. Even if you are from a different Darshan, Amurta, Zandik still valued your opinions since you were more open-minded and thoughtful than the rest.

So, working on personal projects that should be 3 years higher than the level he is currently in was fairly… intriguing, to say the least. It was fascinating for a kid this young to have the capabilities to best even your top students— you wonder what the things he is able to achieve if the system weren't so against him.

Ever since Zandik found out that, not only do you teach Advanced Biology, but also in Research Methods and Thesis Writing, Zandik really enjoyed placing his papers in between the massive piles of your students', so it was almost always too late before you realize it was his, which would already be graded based on your criteria, and he'd always proudly hold that paper close to his chest, knowing that he has gotten higher grades compared to your 4th year students.

Despite all the bumps in the roads regarding your new life with Zandi, including the trials and tribulations of balancing it all with your job, you've grown to absolutely adore Zandik. Perhaps you've already started seeing him as your own kin.

You could only hope that he'd feel the same way with you, in the long run.

Finals soon came after, and you'd often offer Zandik your assistance. Some of the professors he has in highschool were also yours, so you still recall a thing or two about the topics they taught. And every single time, though it started off with him accusing you of underestimating his skills and knowledge, to appreciating at the fact that you'd care enough to ask, he'd say no.

He was well capable on his own, and you know this.

You just hoped there was more you could do for him.

But you did make him an endless supply of warm, coffee milk, to which he absolutely loved to drink, muttering a thank you under his breath as he continued to read. You've already finished preparing test papers, so for the most part, you'd be reading books somewhere in the same room as he was in.

Its quite heartwarming to just spend time together, even without interacting with each other. Just doing your own business in the presence of the other; it was more calming, soothing, to know that you're not alone.

Then, you'd tell him it's time for bed whenever it gets too late. It was a difficult battle though, since he'd always call you a hypocrite and point at your own eye bags, saying you stay up late as well, doing work. "Why am I forced to sleep and you get to stay awake?" He'd argue with a smug smirk on his lips, knowing that he'd made an irrefutable counter.

So you'd huff and go to sleep early, just for his sake— in turn, Zandik would grumble under his breath as he tucks himself to bed. Not after forcing him to brush his teeth of course; he hates to do so because the toothbrush he'd always use doesn't always last from his sharp teeth, but you are quite adamant when it comes to his dental hygiene.

Of course, you weren't foolish enough to believe that Zandik would never dare to rebel against you. Encouraging independence and letting him have the confidence to stand up for himself, meant that he was bound to challenge the rules that you have set, even if you only had his well-being in mind.

A night before the finals, you practically had to (gently) wrestle him to bed, wrapping him in his blanket, telling him to finally sleep, and not pull an all-nighter just to study. Since he was trapped, there was nothing left for him to do but to begrudgingly follow through your demands.

But you were a teen back then as well.

So you sat in the living room, instead of going to your bedroom to finally turn in and rest, completely devoid of light. You waited, and waited— you'd almost fallen asleep on your couch, if it weren't from the sound of Zandik's door opening.

With the silent pitter-patters of his feet against the wood, walking towards the kitchen, rummaging through the cabinets to find a candle, you hear him hum quietly in victory as he finds one. As soon he lights it with a match, he lets out a strangled yelp when he saw you standing across him, right at the entrance of the kitchen; arms crossed and brows raised.

"You should be asleep," You take a step closer to him, and you see him suck in a breath. He couldn't see your face, your expressions unknown in the darkness, replaced with shadows that seemed to haunt him. The hand holding the candle began to tremble, and you frowned.

But he kept the snark in his tone, baring his teeth with a glare, red eyes bright into the night, "It's finals tomorrow," He simply growled, standing his ground, "My professors already hate me enough— imagine if I fail."

"You won't," You tried to reassure him, reaching out your hand towards him, but he was quick to swat it away, scoffing at you.

"And if I do?"

Sighing softly as you retract your hand away from him, you fell into a deep thought. What could you do for him? What would make him feel better? At east enough to finally let himself fall asleep?

"Fine, I'll let you study a bit more," Zandik blinks at you, shocked that you'd still let him, even though you were clearly strict on him getting sleep, "But I'm required to help you this time, okay?"

There was a long stretch of silence as Zandik look down at his feet, contemplating whether he should agree or not. His fingers fiddled with the ends of his sleeves, furrowing his brows, before he finally grunts in defeat, "Fine…" He agrees with your conditions, trailing behind you after he handed you the candle.

You tucked him in his bed, blanket under his chin, while his expectant eyes stared at you, awaiting what you'd do next. Sitting on the edge of his bed, you open the book he was previously studying with, and put the candle in an area where it lit up the text enough for your to read. "What page were you? Hmm, I see, I am quite familiar with this topic," You hum, fingers exploring the texture of the paper, before finding a line of text on the very first paragraph, "The origin of the…"

And so you read.

Every line, every word— you spoke in a way how you'd teach. Read a paragraph, and explain the deeper meaning of it all, in the most engaging way you could without projecting your voice. You only had one audience, after all, a small, sleepy boy who was struggling to keep his eyes open, as soft questions emerged from his lips from topics he didn't quite understand.

You'd answer them, understanding and ever-so-patient, you'd never turn his curiosity to learn away.

Most parents would grab a story book for their child to read, just to help them fall asleep whilst they are to dream in a realm of fantasy. If you'd tried, Zandik would probably hate that, claw at you and tell you that you're the worst. You understood how important this was for him, despite him not being so engaged to the Akademiya due to the people within it.

"My professors already hate me enough— imagine if I fail."

A truth that is too harsh for you to accept. You do not know what this child has done to garner such violent emotions from others. Was it merely his irrevocable fate? For people to see him as this monser that you cannot see for yourself? If it was, then what an awful one to befall on a kid such as Zandik.

You quite adore him, after all.

It didn't take long at all to hear him yawn, though he tried to hide it by muffling it with his palm. Holding back a laugh, you continued reading the text, flipping page after page, visualizing your interpretations the best you could with words, until you finally hear soft snores coming from your side.

Closing the book as quiet as you can, you smile to yourself. He always looked most peaceful when he was asleep, eyes closed and body completely calm. Nothing were to ever harm him in his slumber, and if there were anything that would cry, then they'd have to get through you first.

And you couldn't help it, your hand itching to reach for his head. With enough gentleness, you managed to press your palm against his head, feather light touch to not risk of waking him up.

Yet, to your own pleasant surprise, you feel him lean towards it, chasing the warm from your hands, smiling in his sleep.