#writegift

“Do you believe in God, ” you asked, through my bolted door. “Do you believe in endless tears, ” I replied. You were silent for a long moment. I almost thought you had gone. “Don’t you believe in heaven, ” you asked. “Don’t you believe in being forever lost, ” I answered back; a question of my own. “I believe in Jesus, ” you stated. “I believe in human monsters, ” I countered. You read a scripture to me. I listened. The door never opened. You never walked away. You simply kept speaking I simply kept listening. You were offering I was thinking. You were outside I was inside We repeated this dance, religiously, You and I And you keep coming back. And I keep listening The door does not open. You never ask me why I accept your lesson You accept my fear … Today, I prayed.

Studying quietly next to my son, I heard his heart beat today, And understood, for the very first time, THIS…this, is the true sound of love …and it is …Priceless

Would life have ANY meaning without death? Conversely, Can death have ANY meaning without life? The two remain separate Yet, Deliciously entwined; Each, Completely dependent upon the other’s Purpose And meaning, For its own, solitary existence. A fear filled, Symbiotic wedding, Collaboratively espousing both, Forever, Into a misunderstood, Intricately difficult marriage. A dance Is it, therefore, a crime, To breathe … To endure One side of this relational consciousness; This animate entelechy And Yet, To cling Desperately desiring Wanting, Craving, Hungering, Needing, D E M A N D I N G The perceived simplicity of ultimate escape; Of oblivion; Of Relief; Of the perfect rescue Offered teasingly and ONLY By the duality Of a shared, conscious existence. This has become the unforgiving dilemma, In which, My waking mind now drowns, And, My dreaming mind now attempts escape. The heavy shadow Of secret, Consuming necessity Upon my daily duties and obligatory smiles, Belies me; Heaving… Staggeringly… Weighted. Time unravels. Normally rewarded spaces; Concealed between the moments; Are normally found quiet, Hope filled. They stand as unburdened sanctuaries; Shelters against the experiences Of life; Sadly, they’ve become polluted. Obsessive curiosity; Monstrous heartbreak, And Soul shattering loss of ability to trust… Beyond one’s own, Protectively, ceremonious conventionalism, Demands an answering. Does separation of death Truly, Sever intimacy, and knowledge of existential existence? Did I live If I am dead? Am I dead, If I Have lived? Is there a whisper, carrying my name upon it’s billows; Moving freely through world, and time… After I Have Chosen My Path? Does, my soul travel upon unique memory; Excreting experiences ‘Til the last empty, hurt Has been successfully released… Allowing a graceful fading to nothingness? Question upon hurt And Experience upon question, Upon sadness; Upon fear; Fueling my dissipating soul… Propelling it’s frozen; Shivering core, Ever forward Will there never be relief? Can, this chosen transition To the next Great Realm Of Possibility, Honestly ever bring comfort Hope Or the eternally sought rescue I need? Where is that caring, truthful soul; Punished brutally; Fearful; destroyed Yet, She is eager to disclose The ONE precious secret To ME; The Lost Life Navigator? Where is the weary Warrior; Ready to warn ME? Prepared to allow ME, One small peek, One gentle reminder…. Of a possible… Heavenly… Tomorrow? Where is MY guide? She is so desperately needed MY Curiously eager soul Calls to HER, R E A C H I N G Through the vastness of space; Time; Sempiternity; Pleading HER skillful direction, Deep…deeper…even deeper, Yet Into the depths of a long forgotten, Magically, enlightened Quintessence A deeply buried, Unrecognized; Unthought; Felt, yet, unrecovered Palpable knowledge. Which HAD always, ETERNALLY, existed! Hidden Here, in the depths of discovery, Waiting… Waiting for MY broken soul To become ready To receive, And, to accept its answers Its Existence NO !!!!! My mind ! It has been deliberately disturbed! Outside! A noise! Loud! Booming! Drawing me… A W A Y …… Yanking me in an unspeakable instant, From the tranquil familiarity My soul had so suddenly found. In finding, But not quite reaching home….. No precision in thought deed or action are necessary… NOW Only seclusion of mind Complete silence Can help me, now, IF I am ever To return HOME….Again Home It IS calling; Reaching; Begging my return. My longing is unbearable. A Loneliness, I can’t begin to explain; Intolerable agony I must act! I must go back! My decision MUST be final! For, a life without meaning Is Indeed, A TRUE death, And, A soul without a home… Truly has …. NO MEANING ……….

Accessorize your ambition. #CrossPens #writegift

“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.” I used to have many doubts about my career path and blogging full-time. I went back and forth: should I go for it? No, maybe not. I really want to, but maybe I shouldn't. As much as I wanted to make the right decision, my heart yearned for my dreams. The "what if's" kept me thinking about the endless possibilities. So no matter how scared or uncertain I was, I decided to go for it. I followed my dreams and turned them into reality, and it has been the best decision I've ever made. I partnered with @crosspens to share you my story. "Dream" is engraved on my pen to remind myself that anything is possible as long as I believe. #writegift #ad

How dedicated are you to reach your dream? Are you really ready to take that leap and sacrifice it all? I partnered with @crosspens to have engraved "leap of faith" on my pen as a simple reminder of how FAR I have come and the risk Im willing to take achieve all my dreams. #longstoryshort #writegift #Johnthebaptistla (at Hollywood Hills)

"White is the loneliest color." So much truth in such few words. I grew up thinking so many things were black and white. White being all the good things we should do, be, or aspire to. As I went through a rough two years discovering myself post college, I finally understood that white is synonymous with loneliness. A blank page, a blank slate, no memory, no pain. Truth is, I want to be stained. I want to be flawed and to experience life for all of the highs and lows it has to offer. Give me every color and hue in between. The moment I realized this, I was able to stop bringing myself down and embrace all of the things I had been through because all those colors make me who I am today. This acceptance is how I took the leap towards a new career path, pursuing the man of my dreams, and putting together a collection of writing that is so tender and raw, but real. I refuse to be lonely anymore. Long story short, I'll never aspire to emptiness again. That's why I've engraved "White is the loneliest color" onto this @crosspens pen to remind me all of the colors that are out there for me to seize and experience as I will. #writegift #longstoryshort #ad