Would life have ANY meaning without death?
Conversely,
Can death have ANY meaning
without life?
The two remain separate
Yet,
Deliciously entwined;
Each,
Completely dependent upon the other’s
Purpose
And meaning,
For its own, solitary existence.
A fear filled,
Symbiotic wedding,
Collaboratively espousing both,
Forever,
Into a misunderstood,
Intricately difficult marriage.
A dance
Is it, therefore, a crime,
To breathe …
To endure
One side of this relational consciousness;
This animate entelechy
And Yet,
To cling
Desperately desiring
Wanting,
Craving,
Hungering,
Needing,
D E M A N D I N G
The perceived simplicity of ultimate escape;
Of oblivion;
Of Relief;
Of the perfect rescue
Offered teasingly
and ONLY
By the duality
Of a shared, conscious existence.
This has become the unforgiving dilemma,
In which,
My waking mind now drowns,
And,
My dreaming mind now attempts escape.
The heavy shadow
Of secret,
Consuming necessity
Upon my daily duties and obligatory smiles,
Belies me;
Heaving…
Staggeringly…
Weighted.
Time unravels.
Normally rewarded spaces;
Concealed between the moments;
Are normally found quiet,
Hope filled.
They stand as unburdened sanctuaries;
Shelters against the experiences
Of life;
Sadly, they’ve become polluted.
Obsessive curiosity;
Monstrous heartbreak,
And
Soul shattering loss of ability to trust…
Beyond one’s own,
Protectively, ceremonious conventionalism,
Demands an answering.
Does separation of death
Truly,
Sever intimacy, and knowledge of existential existence?
Did I live
If
I am dead?
Am I dead,
If
I Have lived?
Is there a whisper, carrying my name upon it’s billows;
Moving freely through world, and time…
After I Have Chosen My Path?
Does, my soul travel upon unique memory;
Excreting experiences
‘Til the last empty, hurt
Has been successfully released…
Allowing a graceful fading to nothingness?
Question upon hurt
And
Experience upon question,
Upon sadness;
Upon fear;
Fueling my dissipating soul…
Propelling it’s frozen;
Shivering core,
Ever forward
Will there never be relief?
Can, this chosen transition
To the next Great Realm Of Possibility,
Honestly ever bring comfort
Hope
Or the eternally sought rescue I need?
Where is that caring, truthful soul;
Punished brutally;
Fearful; destroyed
Yet,
She is eager to disclose
The ONE precious secret
To ME;
The Lost Life Navigator?
Where is the weary Warrior;
Ready to warn ME?
Prepared to allow ME,
One small peek,
One gentle reminder….
Of a possible…
Heavenly…
Tomorrow?
Where is MY guide?
She is so desperately needed
MY Curiously eager soul
Calls to HER,
R E A C H I N G
Through the vastness of space;
Time;
Sempiternity;
Pleading HER skillful direction,
Deep…deeper…even deeper,
Yet
Into the depths of a long forgotten,
Magically, enlightened
Quintessence
A deeply buried,
Unrecognized;
Unthought;
Felt, yet, unrecovered
Palpable knowledge.
Which HAD always, ETERNALLY, existed!
Hidden
Here, in the depths of discovery,
Waiting…
Waiting for MY broken soul
To become ready
To receive,
And, to accept its answers
Its Existence
NO !!!!!
My mind !
It has been deliberately disturbed!
Outside!
A noise!
Loud!
Booming!
Drawing me… A W A Y ……
Yanking me in an unspeakable instant,
From the tranquil familiarity
My soul had so suddenly found.
In finding,
But not quite reaching home…..
No precision in thought deed or action are necessary…
NOW
Only seclusion of mind
Complete silence
Can help me, now, IF
I am ever
To return HOME….Again
Home
It IS calling;
Reaching;
Begging my return.
My longing is unbearable.
A Loneliness,
I can’t begin to explain;
Intolerable agony
I must act!
I must go back!
My decision MUST be final!
For, a life without meaning
Is Indeed,
A TRUE death,
And,
A soul without a home…
Truly has ….
NO MEANING
……….
