#writeaway

You live in my every breath, every waking moment— a constant echo of a life I must now live without you. I write these words in agony, grieving the unknown of tomorrow, aching for one more morning wrapped in your arms. We live knowing tomorrow is never promised. Yet how cruel it is that this goodbye feels eternal. If I could, I’d fold every goodbye into a paper plane and send it soaring back to yesterday— to the moment I still had you, to undo what was spoken, to hold you again, knowing it wouldn't be the last. I wish the wind would carry them far from us. I wish the rain would wash them away. I wish those words never left your lips. I wish I didn’t miss us like this. But wishes are paper planes too— lost to the wind, folded in silence, never quite reaching home.

Yet if paper planes can find their way home, against all odds, as I hope we do, carried by gentler skies, forgiving all that's been lost, perhaps in another time, we’ll exist again— without goodbyes.

© Raina Rose 

Im sorry I'll let you go.

Im sorry i will leave with your life story and leave all my secrets with you.

Im sorry i wasted 8 years of your life and im sorry i didn't leave sooner.

Im sorry i will break your heart and im sorry i will leave you alone with your angry father and our lovely dogs.

Im sorry i won't see them age and won't know when they will pass away.

Im sorry i loved you more than all those girls before and im sorry i took such good care of you.

Not because you didn't deserve it,but because me leaving will be harder for you because of that.

Im sorry i'll leave.

Im sorry we will not age together and i fear the day i will run into you in a few years.

But mostly i am sorry that you are not the one.

Im sorry my children won't have your sad brown eyes and won't hear your soft voice.

I too, was a sunflower once

a summer song, a bard in motion.

I too, longed to be kissed by poems

to be fallen apart, crumbled against the palms like golden dust….

I too, inked moth’s madness onto my skin

chained my fate with ember sparks.

melted wax running down my shoulders

like sweet release of an angel's sin,

my ablaze skin

death's breath against my chin

but the fire that never really burnt out

was fuelled by the flames of my heart.

had the dead dreaming of the fireflies

ripped open my ribcage;

had the song of ocean turned my world upside down

had this bizarre triumph condemned me

to you for my heaven and inferno;

had my twisted fate, been a second too slow

I would've plummeted a supernova from the sky….

ruins of my hubris rained like burnt crystals

warped out of shape and time

was it my destiny to drown?

half ashes, half ocean in my lungs?

was it laugh of a madman?

echoing as I danced my way down?

one kiss. heaven’s venomous lips.

fallen. from one blue to the other.

to steal moment's golden bliss.

was it love? or damnation of a poet?

I know how it felt.

to long the eternity once for myself.