|| survived my endoscopy and biopsy on Friday and am lowkey still aching, but it's manageable! I won't get results for it for a couple more weeks, but there is suspect that there may be a benign tumour there. Had a consult today and for the moment they want to hold off any potential surgery to my pancreas due to my 'young' age, but more discussions about that may come about after more info on results come back.
I do have to get yet another scan done, this time focusing on my liver since there's a lesion there too pftt Docs just want to check if the lesions that appeared there correlate to the lesions on my pancreas and stuff.
More appointments incoming over the month, and likely more, but I've been pretty much in and out of the hospital for a year now so it's become pretty normal ๐โจ
Admittedly things have been pretty stressful, but one perk is that my uncle and my cousins rugby team started a fundraiser to help support my cousin who got diagnosed with a serious strain of cancer this year. They've managed to raise enough money to get new amenities for her, and that should help make her feel more comfortable and safe when she's allowed to come home.
Anyway, that's another update. There is more stuff but i've overshared enough kjdsdk but yeee felt like I should give reasons for my lack of activity still. I really do want to come on here more and draw, but haven't felt much motivation or energy for it. Hopefully I can kick myself back into gear again soon tho ๐ ||
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alr- ykw? Iโm fucking tired of being a pussy to speak my opinion about literally anything in fear of ppl hating me or calling me a fascist or some shit. im saying this and i donโt give a single fuck if anyone hates me or unfollows me after this.
i fucking hate the state of the internet and the world. I hate how ppl donโt think anymore. i hate how ppl never take a split fucking second to be open minded and hear out the other side of the story. i hate how ppl bring up absolutely fucking nothing burger controversies that they never thought for a second that yknow- maybe whoever was involved had already learned and taken accountability for their actions and has now grown as a person since then?? fucking crazy right??? /sarcasm
i fucking despise the TADC fandom. everyoneโs โโโโcriticismsโโโโ are not even fucking criticisms. this is just the fucking Hellaverse all over again. ๐ the TADC fandom single handedly ruined the show for me bc no one is respectful of their fucking opinions. cos apparently thatโs just not a thing anymore.
ppl have sent the creator and other fans literal DEATH THREATS bc they disagree with the pettiest fucking thingโfor example: everyone fucking dog piled this one fan simply bc they said they thought that Gangle was annoying.
like- yeah??? okay??? so???? they can have their own opinion??? theyโre allowed to not like her??? itโs almost like sheโs a fictional fucking character and you donโt have to defend her like sheโs a real person?????
like- am i pissing on ppl that donโt like Khan? FUCKING NO??? hell, even if their personal takes about him could be further from the truth, at the end of the day, heโs a fictional fucking character that doesnโt have thoughts or feelings and doesnโt need defending. why? COS PPL ARE ALLOWED TO HAVE THEIR OWN OPINION(S) ON INNOCENT SUBJECTIVE THINGS. Itโs seriously not that fucking serious. ๐ actually go cry me a fucking river if ur getting in your feelings about how someone is trash talking your fav. LIKE- LITERALLY JUST IGNORE IT??? THE BLOCK BUTTON IS RIGHT FUCKING THERE??? NO ONEโS STOPPING YOU???? THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT MATTERS IN LIFE THAN GETTING BENT OUT OF SHAPE ABOUT FICTIONAL CHARACTERS??? (I would give yall another example but I promise u Iโd be here forever if I listed everything I know /gen /srs)
another thing that makes be wanna rip my fucking hair out is how ppl accuse someone of something/claim something, and donโt show any kind of fucking proof or evidence to back up their claim. โjust trust me broโ is not a fucking critique (it may absolutely be a valid complaint, but not a critique. for example: u donโt like Jax bc u donโt like sympathetic bullies/characters and ur just sick of seeing the trope everywhere. but apparently ppl are not ready for the conversation that just bc you donโt like something, that doesnโt automatically mean itโs objectively badโor in this case, it doesnโt mean the creator is a bad writer or the character is an awful character).
of course excluding anything that is actually dangerous and someone could get seriously harmed by, the shit that ppl get themselves into are not a problem anymore as soon as you turn off your computer.
itโs actually genuinely pathetic how ppl bring up such nothing burger of problems about a person or persons they donโt like just so they can get them โโโcanceledโโโ and it makes them feel better to see their down fall cos they simply donโt like this one person.
but at the end of the day, yes, I do agree that TADC, and not just TADC but other medias too, has its flaws and needs polishing in some places. but itโs seriously fucking unnecessary to build a whole fucking community out of pure *petty hatred for something that literally doesnโt fucking matter. these communities, that are apparently called โhatedomsโ whoโs whole and one and only purpose is to slander the fuck out of something.
*โpetty hatredโ meaning ppl hating on a flawed show while there are WAY bigger fish to fry and worry about. (thereโs a literal war going on out there and ppl are dying, Sharon. no one cares ๐๐๐ /silly)
basically, TLDR for what im trying to get out of all of this brain vomit: if ur not catching onto the bit, getting the writing, getting what story the writer is trying to tell through their writing, not understanding, refusing to understand, and just ruining it for everybody, leave.
The amount of emotions I've felt today all at once is crazy. Idk what really started I guess when I got aggravated and angry, my chest started to hurt and then I started crying all of a sudden.
Little bit of a vent/negative post below the cut. Ya ain't obligated to read it, but I would appreciate it all the same.
I think I am gunna take a little bit of a break from writing, for a few days. I've hit something of a bad mental space for the last few days, and I've started to feel like my writing is subpar? As though I don't bring anything to the rp spaces I occupy, and stupid stuff like that.
I've started to feel as though I could just up and delete my stuff, and nobody'd really notice. And I hate feeling like that. It makes it seem like the friends I've made and the people I know through rp aren't supporting me-- which is simply not true.
I'll bounce back, I'm sure, but for now. I'll just be around for chatting ooc and maybe plotting. Feel free to send any prompts in if you guys wanna, and any threads I have I'll keep open for when I get back.
In the meantime, stay safe and take care of each other.
Love ya,
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