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the way I can go from.normal to suicidal is crazy
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Meeting with HR about alli in the next few days 🤭 I was very hesitant to bc I’m not facing the worst of her wrath right now but I realized it’s only a matter of time before I look at her wrong and she decides she wants me gone. Going to bring up the way she talks to everyone but also the way she speaks about men and children too. Because as someone whose worst nightmare is having a baby the way she talks about children (both client’s AND our coworkers’ kids) is disgusting. Like hello? Are we forgetting children are arguably the most vulnerable group of people on the planet? Have you forgotten you were once a child?
I hate how I still feel every minute of it years after it happened
it is genuinely infuriating how many people grasp the concept of "there are several different sects of christianity, some of which are conservative and controlling, but others which are more progressive, and you can't treat the whole religion as a monolith", but absolutely cannot wrap their minds around the idea that islam, the second-biggest religion in the world, is also not a monolith.
i am convinced no matter how much they claim to be accepting and understanding nobody on a higher level of functioning will ever be able to actually understand me and see me as anything more than stupid or dramatic
I will never feel safe around them
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in my own words
love the fake wokeness of tumblr rpc. so many posts about wanting more female muses but whether it is on this blog or my now archived smaller multimuse my female muses were the ones that got the least attention, even when I did a ton of reaching out first.
the same can be said about all the people who want more bipoc in dc but then don't interact with my dc characters who have bipoc faceclaims.
why the hell am I actually on tumblr- I am literally a sex repulsed asexual on the horniest site known to man. it doesn’t help my case at all that Murder Drones fan content is mostly smut/freaky shit and it’s all that comes up when I try to casually scroll through art. im genuinely scared to scroll through my fav ship tags in fear of getting flashbanged (Ik, it’s pathetic)
I feel ashamed to admit it, but I’ve gotten jumped by freaky shit so much that im angry now. Im genuinely so sick of it. Even when I follow advice to just look at fluff I still run into the shit that makes me nauseous. and it also doesn’t help that there is literally more Nuzi smut out there than sfw fluff that it has come to the point where I cannot find fluff (same with Khori) the problem isn’t that smut of my favorite ships exist, it’s the fact that that’s all that exists. I cannot find more fluff than of what fluff I’ve already seen. There is more freaky stuff than fluff, and that’s what’s frustrating. I’m given advice to look at fluff, but sfw non-explicit non-suggestive non-spicy fluff barely exists.
So im lost. I don’t know what to do. im tired.
