#toxicbehavior

Manipulation can be hard to spot, but here’s a sign: if someone constantly blames you for your reaction to their toxic behavior, but never acknowledges the disrespect that triggered you, they’re manipulating you. ✩₊˚.

They twist the situation to make you feel guilty and avoid taking responsibility for their actions. It’s not your fault for reacting to mistreatment. Healthy relationships involve mutual respect and accountability, not shifting the blame. If someone always turns the focus on how you reacted instead of addressing what they did to cause it, that’s a red flag. ⋆☾⋆

“Ya Allah, aku berlindung kepada-Mu dari sifat gelisah (pesimis), sedih, malas, kikir, pengecut, terlilit hutang, dan keganasan orang lain." 🤲 -Diriwayatkan oleh Anas r.a-

When we call out people’s toxic behavior, the usual reaction from them is to blame us rather than taking responsibility for their mistakes.

In some cases, they even point out some irrelevant life and imagined hurt and play a victim card while showing themselves on moral high ground.

so. . .this needs to be addressed right now: something i love doing in the mornings is scroll through the explore page of instagram. today i saw a post of a couple on the beach where the chick jumps into the guy's arms, wraps her arms and legs around him and they kiss - freaking adorable, right? that's what i thought.

so. . .i go to the comments to be like 'dawww! #goals', but when i get there i see only 3 things:

1) people commenting on how the guy seemed barely able to hold the girl coz she's bigger and he's on the skinner end of the spectrum

2) people going overboard complimenting the girl for being thicc and not conforming to the skinny standards put on women

and 3) people branding themselves as 'heroes' for saying maybe the focus should be on the fact that the guy is "too small" instead of only focusing on the girl's body

. . .what the actual fuck!? seriously, why does it have to be about who's body is 'wrong' at all!? why can't the focus just be on two people being happy together!?

i know people who don't persue relationships just because of their body insecurities and wondering how they would look with someone based on other people's opinions! ffs, i'm struggling to not be one of those people!!

can we just collectively get out of this mindset? it's just a meat suit! it's never gonna meet some universal standard of perfection and, even if it does, physical appearance should not be a defining factor in relationships! and before someone comes at me being like "what if someone is super unhealthy", that is caused by a mindset issue, which is serious and needs attending to and not what i'm talking about here.