Guidelines on Confidentiality
& Setting goals
When clients share personal and confidential information it is important before anything is said that you explain what is meant by confidentiality; this includes:
An agreement that anything that is said will remain confidential between you and them, that you will not disclose to anyone else the matters that pass between the two of you without first obtaining consent.
That you retain the liberty to question the validity of what is being said.
That confidential information about matters of a very serious nature may require disclosure to a third party, that you will explain why you think that this is the case; it may be for legal reasons to do with abuse, harm others.
It is very important that you are not left in possession of confidential information which binds you into a difficult relationship of secrecy.
Ensure that you have someone with whom you can speak about the confidential information you are handling.
If the person with whom you are speaking is not willing to give you permission to operate within these guidelines it is important that you explain that you are unable to help them any further.
Any information that you hear about a third party during a confidential conversation should also be treated with the same respect as other matters as it may or may not be true.
All sessions are confidential and information regarding sessions cannot be released without written permission.
The areas of confidentiality include the content of sessions.
Any records of sessions must be kept secured and must not become part of any other records.
There is no routine communication with anyone without the knowledge of the member and their written permission.
All individuals are expected to be professional and always maintain confidentiality, whether dealing with actual records or conversations and abide by the obligations of confidentiality agreements.
Exceptions to confidentiality include situations involving serious risk to your safety or to the safety of others; serious risk to property; communications concerning the abuse or neglect of minors or elders and cases involving sexual harassment. Setting goals
Here are 7 Must-have conditions to set goals.
State your goal in positive terms. People often set a goal in terms of what they don't want: "I don't want to smoke, to be angry..." change these to I want to be smoke free, I want to be calm… See the difference? Hear the nuance? Are you ready to state positively every goal you want to achieve?
Make sure the goal can be self-initiated and maintained. The goal doesn't depend on the attitude of your neighbour, on the behaviour of your wife or family. The success of your goal must depend on you, and you alone.
Your goal must be sensory specific. Here comes the importance of clarity. The clearer the picture, the more compelling and the more attractive it is, the greater the drive to reach your final destination. Act as if the goal is already achieved. Make a very clear image, in rich details, and you will be so enthusiastic that you will automatically attract the solution.
State the context of the goal. "Where and when will my goal be achieved?" The answer can be obvious for some goals but not at all for others. Try to be as specific as possible.
Run a Quality Control check on the goal to ensure balance in all areas of your home/work life. Above all, you don't want to lose your balance. When you run this 'Quality Control Check", you play a win-win strategy. Everything is one system and the whole system must win. You will find peace of mind in knowing that you are in harmony with the system. Step back and look at all areas of your life. Is your goal worth it?
State the resources needed to achieve the goal: what is the price to pay? There is always a price to pay, for everything. There is always some kind of sacrifice to make when you set a worthy goal. In this step, you will define all that you will need, in terms of time, money and energy.
State the value and the consistency of the goal. Why do I want to reach this goal? Why is it important to me? Is this goal in harmony with my vision, beliefs and values? Answer these questions. If you don't seem to be satisfied with the answers, maybe you should change your goal. Set a new goal until you feel it is in harmony with your passion, vision or mission.
Much of persuasion and other forms of changing minds is based on a relatively small number of principles. If you can understand the principles, then you can invent your own techniques. It thus makes sense to spend time to understand these principles (persuaded yet?).
Alignment: When everything lines up, there are no contradictions to cause disagreement.
Appeal: If asked nicely, we will follow the rules we have made for ourselves.
Association: Our thoughts are connected. Think one thing and the next is automatic.
Assumption: Acting as if something is true often makes it true.
Attention: Make sure they are listening before you try to sell them something.
Authority: Use your authority and others will obey.
Bonding: I will usually do what my friends ask of me, without negotiation.
Closure: Close the door of thinking and the deal is done.
Confidence: If I am confident, then you can be confident.
Closure: A drowning person will clutch at a straw. So will a confused one.
Consistency: We like to maintain consistency between what we think, say and do.
contrast: We notice and decide by difference between two things, not absolute measures.
Daring: If you dare me to do something, I dare not, not do it.
Dependence: If you are dependent on me, I can use this as a lever to persuade you.
Distraction: If I distract your attention, I can then slip around your guard.
Evidence: I cannot deny what I see with my own eyes.
Exchange: if I do something for you, they you are obliged to do something for me.
Experience: I cannot deny what I experience for myself.
Excited: When I am excited I am fully engaged and hence more likely to pay attention.
Framing: Meaning depends on context. So control the context.
Harmony: Go with the flow to build trust and create subtle shifts.
Hurt and Rescue: Make them uncomfortable then throw them a rope.
Interest: If I am interested then I will pay attention.
Investment: If I have invested in something, I do not want to waste that investment.
Logic: What makes sense must be true.
Objectivity: Standing back decreases emotion and increases logic.
Pull: Create attraction that pulls people in.
Push: I give you no option but to obey.
Repetition: If something happens often enough, I will eventually be persuaded.
Scarcity: I want now what I may not be able to get in the future.
Similarity: We trust people who are like us…so be like them!
Specificity: People fill in the gaps in vague statements.
Substitution: Put them into the story.
Surprise: When what happens is not what I expect, I must rethink my understanding.
Tension: I will act to reduce the tension gaps I feel.
Threat: If my deep needs are threatened, I will act to protect them.
Trust: If I trust you, I will accept your truth and expose my vulnerabilities.
Understanding: If I understand you, then I will interact more accurately with you.
Neil Benbow
(c)neilbenbow2026
An archive resource for my writing, featuring psychotherapy articles, short stories, letters, oddbins, and poetry.
