angst; Abusive Overthinking (everyone hates it)
Please don't take this seriously
YOU ARE ENOUGH
It haunts you like a ghost, you can't get rid of it even if you tried
It took a time when you were young, very young,
There came a time when your family mostly hanged out with one another, not even realising you were also there.. seeing the joyful faces as they played outside together
Meanwhile you stood inside the house not wanting to bother their precious time
You're not good enough for them
Another time was when you were out with friends, or so you thought they were your friends
You went out shopping with them, trying out new outfits for the party that was going to later in the week
You were so excited to try out new different clothes with them, hoping their would give you compliments and such to only find out they were horrible people
'Are you sure you wanna wear that to the party?'
'I don't know if you fit that well'
'It doesn't give sexy vibes you know?'
Finally turning into an adult, your overthinking becoming more and more abusive to your own thoughts
You were going out by yourself, thinking it was a good time to give yourself some alone time, away from the thoughts that like to flood your mind
But you were dead wrong.. eyes everywhere, staring at you
Rushing over to the bathroom as you stared into the long length mirror in front of you, you gave yourself a look
You need to hide yourself
Now you are 24 years old..
Going into the military has got to be the boldest decisions you have ever made but it was an opportunity to get away from everything
Hoping that the training and the military stuff were sure to get you away from the evil thoughts
It was around dark, slightly dim from the moon light where you were assigned a mission with Task force 141
The four men were nice, welcoming and serious when needed
But you're thoughts came running
You're not strong enough for this
"Name.. love?" John's voice slipped in, causing your breath to hitch from your repeated breathing form nearly having a panic attack
You looked around, from seeing John's worried face to Gaz's furrowed look to Johnny's curious expressions to Ghost cold eyes behind his mask
Your heart continued to beat rapidly, beating against your chest
"Ye-Yeah I'm fine.." You slowly said as if you were unsure yourself
"You don't look oke' You look like you seen a ghost" Johnny's concerned voice spoke as he scooted closer to get a good look at you
Your eyes were wide, your pupils slightly blown wide, your face looked pale and your brows were slightly furrowed
Slowly reaching his hand up, making you flinch as he backed off
"Wh-What are you doin'?" You were confused
"Was going to check your forehead"
"I said I'm fine" You're voice was serious
"Cut the bullshit, a few seconds ago you were freaking out" Ghost interrupted "Tell us what's going through your head"
You looked down at the floor until he though started running up again
They're going to think you're insane
They will see you as weak and pathetic
"Love, you're doing it again.." Now it was Gaz to focus back to reality as you felt his hand on the lower of your back
"Sorry.." You muttered a apology
"No need to say sorry kid' It's your thoughts that are filling your mind with negative information, it happens to everyone yeah? But I just wanna say one thing.."
This is not proof read btu I can't be bothered also
NEVER LET YOUR THOUGHT THINK BADLY OF YOURSELF
