Out drinking with your friends and suddenly you hear yours and Simonâs âsongâ
cw: drunk calls/texts, as vague of a description of throwing up that I could manage
You thought you were over it. Over him. Itâs only been a couple months but they werenât really a hard couple months. You were fine. You were fine. So there was no reason for you to be staring at yourself in the bathroom mirror listening to the muffled sounds of the bar as mascara runs down your cheeks. Because you were fine.
There were more drinks than you could count buzzing through your system and it was like your phone was screaming your name, begging you to take it. Call him. Text him, anything. Just hear his voice again. It was a stupid idea but you were too drunk to care anymore. You fish your phone out of the pocket of your jacket and sway on your feet as you slowly unlock it and find Simonâs contact.
You dial the number, half expecting to have been blocked but it rings. And rings. And rings until youâre sent to voicemail. You hang up and try again. Voicemail. But by the fifth call, you decide to actually leave a message.
âHey. Sâme. UhâŚâ you exhale through your mouth, laughing at yourself for being so stupid. âMâdrunk. But that- thatâs not why Iâm callin. I mean it kind of is, but I miss you.â
You stop talking for a few seconds, staring yourself in the mirror again. âHeard our song. Remember that one I kept playin in the car until you started singin along? Now Iâm cryin in the bathroom and-â
Youâre cut off by the time limit on the message and the call hangs up. But that doesnât stop you, you call again and leave another message until youâre cut off and keep repeating that until youâve said all that youâve needed to. Then you put your phone away and stumble out of the bathroom, slurring to your friends that you were going home and you walk out into the cool night.
It was three in the morning and you were hammered crying over your ex. You check your phone for any response but there was nothing so you get to texting.
You look up at the street signs and try your best to remember the way to his apartment. Not that it was difficult, you would go out of your way to drive through his neighborhood sometimes. You find your way to his building and have to crawl up the stairs because you could barely walk anymore. Once you find his door, you lean against the door frame with your face in the crook between the frame and the door and start your drunk singing to try and get his attention.
âSimon, mâhere. Open the door yeah? I wanna talk.â
You keep on with your mumbling and pitchy singing until the lock clicks and the door opens, revealing an out of focus but peeved Simon meeting your hazy eyes. âYâhave any idea what time it is?â
His voice made you want to cry. Even sounding angry with you, it was so nice to hear again that you almost broke down into tears right at his doorstep.
You whimper and push past him to get inside, not that he made any move to stop you anyway. You bump into walls and take a deep breath, remembering everything youâd ever done together. You start crying again as you make your way to his couch and flop face down, falling asleep immediately. Simon watches everything and sighs deeply, closing his eyes before locking the door again and laying a blanket over you. He leaves a trash can and water close enough for you to reach and goes back to bed.
The next morning, you wake up slowly and are immediately overcome with unbearable nausea. You shoot up and find the bin, emptying your stomach into it all before you could realize where you were. When you were done, you look around and your heart sinks.
âOh fuck. Oh no. No no no no no.â You shakily stand up and pat yourself down to make sure you still had your things and book it to the door to make your escape.
âYâshould eat somethin before yâgo.â Simonâs voice stops you in your tracks and you turn to see him standing there with a fresh cup of tea. He holds it out and you kind of have to take it, he already caught you trying to leave.
You say nothing and go to sit at the table while he makes something easy on your stomach, also in silence. He brings you a plate of toast and some eggs, sitting across from you. You eat as quiet as you could and stare at your plate just wishing you could disappear.
âWhyâd yâonly call me because yâwere drunk?â
You look up at him and struggle to swallow the bite of toast youâd just taken. âIâŚIâm sorry.â
âI heard that one song. And it just brought me back.â You explain, fighting back another wave of tears. âI miss you, Simon. I thought I was over you. Iâm not.â
âI can see that.â He huffs and leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. âAnd what, yâthought callin me at three in thâmorning would change my mind? Instead of actin like a normal person and givin it a try sober?â
âI said I was sorry, I-â
âIf youâre sorry, youâll call when youâre coherent and not pityin yâself. Try again and maybe Iâll wanna talk.â Simon stands up and start heading back to his room. âAnd be out in ten minutes, I got work.â
You watch him disappear and canât even finish eating. You leave, waiting until you got home to cry. But there was an odd sense of hope. He said to try again, maybe you could fix what you broke?