#hypergamous dating

I am here for everything.

And anything.

number 1: meditation— at least 5 minutes per day

number 2: prayer— morning, afternoon, and night

number 3: going outside— inhaling stale inside air < outside air

number 4: not sitting for more than an hour at a time

number 5: being consistent on this blog (this helps with motivation and is my online journal)

number 6: being active for at least 45 minutes daily— whether it’s a strenuous workout or a hot girl walk

number 7: swapping 30 minutes of a tv show or listening to music with a podcast, self-development video, or reading a book

number 8: positive self-talk / mirror work whenever i walk past a mirror

number 9: falling asleep to affirmations from youtube

number 10: spending less time on my phone— allowing myself 1-2 hours a day on social media and the internet (i used to spend ALL day on my phone)

number 11: drinking at least 60oz of water

number 12: parenting myself (for example: if i’m getting carried away with being on my phone and i have to run errands, i make myself to get off my phone and to walk out the door)

Being able to properly communicate is essential.

Too much weight is put on beauty in circles with younger women when beauty alone doesn’t do much for you in real-world circles. If you’re unable to open your mouth and communicate with other people, befriend them, and network, you’ll have a hard time leaving the spot you’re in. Everywhere I’ve gotten in life is because I know how to open my mouth and make friends; from my school to my job to my relationships, I take a very active role in my own life, advocate for myself, and do whatever it takes to advance myself.

You have to be able to talk; your success depends on meeting people and using your connections as a springboard to make it into more exclusive social circles and larger events. I also don’t believe in starting off at huge events if you want to make your mark; I think it’s easier to create lasting relationships if you make your way through more intimate events and secure invitations to larger events (as opposed to paying your own way), and you should know that the people you’d imagine are at these huge events aren’t as accessible or friendly towards strangers as you would imagine and all bets are off if there’s alcohol.

You have to have a history of healthy relationships as well; if you cannot make or keep friends, you will not be able to make or keep a relationship, and people will view you as a red flag. Naturally integrating into society is the goal, not standing out and drawing unwanted attention to yourself. Too many young women think that standing out and drawing attention to their presence is necessary, but in my opinion, if you feel the need to be loud in order to be noticed, people will assume that insecurity is the name of your game.

I posted about visiting my brother at Cambridge a few days ago and immediately got asked how I was able to go to so many events, and the answer is that I’ve spent time getting to know people and befriending them. I had someone to introduce me to the crowd, but after that, I did what was necessary to make my own friends. I’m asked out to events in New York because I’ve used my job as a way to get to know people, and I’ve networked at events I’ve been invited to. I took the initiative to conduct my own interviews when I began applying to schools, I volunteer, and I have a bustling social life that I created for myself. I have support, but more importantly, I don’t doubt my own social skills.

I’ve noticed that women on this website will tell you what you want to hear, especially when it comes to social skills. The truth is that it’s very hard to exist in the world without having passable social skills, and being attractive isn’t a crutch that works in every situation. If you’re not willing to put in the work to help yourself and go through a course of exposure therapy (the only way to build and polish your social skills is by socializing, shocker), they will not get better. You have to put yourself in uncomfortable (not unsafe) situations and learn how to navigate them; that’s the only way to become a skilled/effective communicator.