#milena dates

Being able to properly communicate is essential.

Too much weight is put on beauty in circles with younger women when beauty alone doesn’t do much for you in real-world circles. If you’re unable to open your mouth and communicate with other people, befriend them, and network, you’ll have a hard time leaving the spot you’re in. Everywhere I’ve gotten in life is because I know how to open my mouth and make friends; from my school to my job to my relationships, I take a very active role in my own life, advocate for myself, and do whatever it takes to advance myself.

You have to be able to talk; your success depends on meeting people and using your connections as a springboard to make it into more exclusive social circles and larger events. I also don’t believe in starting off at huge events if you want to make your mark; I think it’s easier to create lasting relationships if you make your way through more intimate events and secure invitations to larger events (as opposed to paying your own way), and you should know that the people you’d imagine are at these huge events aren’t as accessible or friendly towards strangers as you would imagine and all bets are off if there’s alcohol.

You have to have a history of healthy relationships as well; if you cannot make or keep friends, you will not be able to make or keep a relationship, and people will view you as a red flag. Naturally integrating into society is the goal, not standing out and drawing unwanted attention to yourself. Too many young women think that standing out and drawing attention to their presence is necessary, but in my opinion, if you feel the need to be loud in order to be noticed, people will assume that insecurity is the name of your game.

I posted about visiting my brother at Cambridge a few days ago and immediately got asked how I was able to go to so many events, and the answer is that I’ve spent time getting to know people and befriending them. I had someone to introduce me to the crowd, but after that, I did what was necessary to make my own friends. I’m asked out to events in New York because I’ve used my job as a way to get to know people, and I’ve networked at events I’ve been invited to. I took the initiative to conduct my own interviews when I began applying to schools, I volunteer, and I have a bustling social life that I created for myself. I have support, but more importantly, I don’t doubt my own social skills.

I’ve noticed that women on this website will tell you what you want to hear, especially when it comes to social skills. The truth is that it’s very hard to exist in the world without having passable social skills, and being attractive isn’t a crutch that works in every situation. If you’re not willing to put in the work to help yourself and go through a course of exposure therapy (the only way to build and polish your social skills is by socializing, shocker), they will not get better. You have to put yourself in uncomfortable (not unsafe) situations and learn how to navigate them; that’s the only way to become a skilled/effective communicator.

I’m currently active on one dating app at the moment, and my profile is a clear view of who I am. I’m presenting myself the way I want to be viewed, my current prompts and main “about me” section give insight into how I expect to be spoken to and treated, and I’m running a tight ship. I haven’t matched with a single man who hasn’t read my profile in months, and it’s been a very long time since I went on a disappointing first date. Even my photos give off a clear vibe of who I am. I was intentional with the ones I chose because I had less than satisfactory responses to my old set, and I had a better idea of what to do this time around for more appropriate responses.

He was raised by boomers; there’s nothing wrong with being raised by older people, but he has a boomer mindset that doesn’t exactly translate over well to this era. His father, the CEO of a major steel company, donated so much to AttyDC’s boarding school and Ivys that there are buildings named after their family, but ADC seems to not care that the pre-2008 recession dollar isn’t the same as the dollar of today. I guess what I’m saying is that he’s very into the idea that everyone should be able to pull themselves up by the bootstraps, but he won’t acknowledge that today’s youth doesn’t even have boots.

He’s also more religious than I ever expected. I don’t necessarily have an issue with him being religious, but I do have an issue with him actively obsessing over Israel; I think it’s cringe for a guy to be fanboying over a whole country, sorry. The main wall I’m hitting is the money wall; if I’m in it just for money and morals don’t matter, it would be incredibly difficult for me to meet someone better than him in America. He has money and political clout (in this current climate), but he’s honestly so unlikable. I’m dreading seeing him for lunch today, but I know it’ll be worth my time, and I have to go on this date to decide what I’ll be doing for the New Year and tell him my choice.

This is neither here nor there, but I always forget how stereotypically Waynflete he looks until I’m actually faced with him and his Schoffel. My opinion of blonde men is also low, but there’s something charming about the way his hair catches the light. He’s pompous; that’s his downfall. He can be a bit callous at times in a way that one can clearly tell that he’s not being facetious; he legitimately believes that he’s better than people (and knows that he’s better off). He’s very stiff upper lip and signet ring, and I don’t know if I like it or if he’s too Tatler-adjacent for me.