#hypergamous lifestyle

Look 50/59 from Calvin Klein Collection Fall 2026.

the biggest lesson i'm learning from these women is that they delegate. they delegate like it's the cure. they delegate like there's no tomorrow.

i remember when i told The Queen™ (of this group) that The Strategist™ told me that I should begin hiring "assistance".

i actually thought this woman was going to be as confused as i was but she just softly laughed and agreed with her.

i don't come from a world where you hire "assistance". in the world i come from you either were the help or you just handled it yourself, so for me, hearing that i should begin hiring, (or at least thinking about it), is a bit jarring.

even though i know she's right.

so i started to look at this from a different perspective. and i realized that they're not simply "putting things off on other people" because they're lazy or they don't want to deal with it;

they're doing it because they don't believe in showing how much they can endure.

or being the workhorse. the strong, independent woman. and they definitely don't believe in being the mule.

and as a black woman, (especially one who's been caregiving), this hit home and hit a nerve all at the same time.

i remember when being seen as "the strong, independent black woman", stopped being such a compliment and something to be proud of. i remember when groups of black women began saying publicly to stop calling us that. i didn't quite understand it at first (perhaps i was too young) but i get it now:

being seen that way doesn't just overwork you or puts you at risk of being overworked — it erases your right to be delicate, supported and protected.

or as i was told: "when you are seen carrying everything, you will be treated as someone who should carry everything."

it's one of the reasons why you have so many men grow up thinking that women should handle everything: because they watched their mothers do it.

and these women avoid that at all costs.

i thought they delegate so much because they're trying to protect their time.

but it's deeper then that.