When you give from overflow, not obligation, something beautiful happens inside you: your soul remembers its purpose.

Giving connects you to something eternal.

It says: “I have something that can make this world softer.”

You start realizing — fulfillment isn’t found in having, but in offering.

Each act of giving becomes a mirror that reflects your own worth.

You begin to understand that wealth isn’t the number of things you hold — it’s the number of hearts you touch.

I feel like most advice focuses on what you should be getting and not what you could be giving so its kind of hard for me to find traits or behaviors that would be good to have in a healthy relationship.

Could you share your thoughts on this? Maybe seeing some examples would inspire me to think of others as well.

Thanks so much and happy holidays🫶🏼❄️🧣

Hi darling,

That's a great question! I think it's fair to say that anything you require, you should also be willing to provide (to a point, until our obvious gender differences come in).

Now this list is from my own perspective as a woman, but it's a starting point so you have more clarity over what you want in a relationship. (I'm mostly refering to non-physical things, as physical aspects are self explanatory and also subjective to each couple's needs/preferences.)

Common things you should both provide:

Emotional/mental things like: loyalty, commitment, kindness, understanding, emotional support, emotional intelligence, abundance mindset, generosity, financial education & responsibility, etc.

It can also be more practical and specific things like: driver's license, having a car, having a house, being debt-free, a stable job, x amount of annual salary etc.

What you can provide as a woman:

being a provider on the emotional/spiritual plane: nurturing, understanding, compassion

being receptive

bringing beauty into his life (examples: interior decor, making your home more beautiful and welcoming; your physical appearance; your well-educated and insightful mind; your gentleness and grace, your spirituality; just overall making his life more colorful and radiant)

feminine wisdom (the sacred feminine provides a different kind of wisdom than the divine masculine, they are not the same. Our wisdom derives from nurturing and creation, theirs derives from a sense of leadership, efficiency, community, building foundations, protection, etc)

innovation, creativity, inspiration

the free-flowing powerful energy of the divine feminine (think passion, laughter, joy, dancing, picking up new hobbies or a new recipe, etc)

What he should provide:

structure

safety & protection

leadership (not control but leadership, there's a difference)

being a provider on the financial/physical plane

stability

being a (safe) container for the divine feminine: supporting her creative energy, her wild feminine, her ebbs and flows

generosity

action & initiative (long-term planning as a couple, planning vacations or trips, iniative in leveling up different aspects of your lives as a couple)

the list goes on.

More articles on "green flag" behaviours in dating:

What a healthy relationship looks like

Why you should avoid FWB and situationships

High value dating: do's and don'ts

29 green flags of the High Value Man

Red flags of the Low Value Man

Hope this helps in getting an overview over what you want in a relationship, and what you can provide. 🫶

Asking for more doesn't seem to help much

Hi angel,

If you follow my blog for a while you'll know where I stand on this.

Never settle.

When you settle (for anything in life), you're telling the universe "I don't want any better, this is fine" so that's exactly what you get. However when you know you deserve more and are brave enough to let go of what isn't enough for you, you're making space for even more abundance, for something even better. In my case, this has been proven true time and time and time again.

Don't settle babes, especially when it comes to relationships. It's not just about you. Do you really want your partner (who isn't enough for you) to live their whole life being half-loved and being seen as not enough? Would YOU want to be treated & seen that way by your lifelong partner? That idea alone should horrify you.

Then don't dish out what you can't take. Mirror the energy you want to receive! That's how the law of attraction works too. Be the energy you want to attract.

PS: it's also important to note what your expectations are. If you're an avid romance book reader, keep in mind you'll never find 100% of those characters in real life because they're not real. But it's valid to ask for loyalty, love, passion, compatibility, etc, all the beautiful things. You shouldn't feel lukewarm about your significant other.

I keep asking my partner for more romance and he always replies "I don't know what you want" so I end up feeling deflated and like I'm missing out on what I need emotionally.

How can I ask without asking?

Hi darling,

You don't. This is only a valid question in the first months of the relationship, and even then a man should have common sense on how to romance you.

You're not looking to be romanced. You're looking for your partner to show that he cares without you having to ask for it. If you have to ask a man for it, he doesn't really love you. I said what I said.

A man will always go to the ends of the earth for his dreamgirl, get her flowers, treats, gifts, regular dates ad infinitum, she'll never have to ask because he's already thinking of how to make her happy and avoid losing her.

"I don't know what you want" is the lazy man's reply when your bare minimum request of affection is a nagging nuisance to him, getting in the way of him enjoying access to everything you give without having to reciprocate the effort back.