β A STUDENTβS GUIDE TO HOGWARTS CLASSES.
FOR EVERY CLASS . always sit where you can see (or avoid) the professorβs mood swings. bring a spare quill, and for Merlinβs sake, read all instructions on the board
β β. ASTRONOMY.
DEALING WITH PROFESSOR SINESTRA . sheβs chill if you stay quiet. just donβt interrupt her passionate stargazing rants, or sheβll assign extra homework on constellations literally no oneβs ever heard of
HOMEWORK . star charts and essays on planetary motion. tedious but straightforwardβaccuracy is everything
TIPS TO EXCEL . memorize constellations and learn how to cast Lumos just dim enough that you donβt blind everyone during late-night pitch black lessons
EXTRA CREDIT . spot and track a rare celestial event, like a comet. (bonus points if you can pronounce its Latin name to Sinestra without choking)
AVOID MISHAPS . never mix up Mars and Mercury on your chartβyouβll be doomed in astronomy and divination
β β. CARE OF MAGICAL CREATURES.
DEALING WITH PROFESSOR HAGRID . show genuine interest in his creatures, even if they look like they could eat you (they definitely can)
HOMEWORK . research magical creature habits and write about their care. watch outβhe loves long essays (he can basically make students write books about his favorite subject for him)
TIPS TO EXCEL . always wear dragonhide gloves and boots that cover your ankles. treat the creatures and Hagrid with respectβheβll notice
EXTRA CREDIT . help feed or clean up after the creatures during your free periods or after class. itβs messy, but he appreciates it immeasurably
AVOID MISHAPS . never, ever call a Blast-Ended Skrewt βgrossβ within his earshot
β β. CHARMS.
DEALING WITH PROFESSOR FLITWICK . heβs sweet but sharp. pay attention, or youβll be called on mid-yawn to demonstrate something tricky.
HOMEWORK . practice spells at home. if your wandwork looks like youβre conducting a dance recital, youβre doing it wrong.
TIPS TO EXCEL . focus on precise wand movements and pronunciationβno βswish and flickβ means no charm
EXTRA CREDIT . perform an original charm in class and explain how you invented it (hint: slap a name on something flashy, and ramble about how Flitwickβs class gave you the βtools to do itβ)
AVOID MISHAPS . donβt use charms on your classmates (no matter how obnoxious they are) unless you want detention for βunsanctioned spellcastingβ
β β. DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS
DEALING WITH THE PROFESSOR . varies wildly year to year. if theyβre twitchy, donβt ask questions. if theyβre confident, challenge them slightlyβthey love it
HOMEWORK . spell practice, theoretical essays on defensive strategies, and (sometimes) practical exams.
TIPS TO EXCEL . master shield charms earlyβProtego is your bread and butter. always watch your back in βsurpriseβ practical tests (the surprise could be a curse aimed at your back)
EXTRA CREDIT . propose new defense tactics for obscure threats like lethifolds or hinkypunks, it shows interest in the less βcoolβ aspects of the dark arts
AVOID MISHAPS . donβt hex yourself in class while demonstrating a jinx. you wonβt get in trouble. but itβs embarrassing.
β β. DIVINATION.
DEALING WITH PROFESSOR TRELAWNEY . just nod and act fascinated. sheβs happier when you look like you believe her
HOMEWORK . dream journals, tea-leaf sketches, and guesses at what the stars are βtellingβ you
TIPS TO EXCEL . make up extremely dramatic predictions that sound poetic. extra marks if you add impending doom for a classmate
EXTRA CREDIT . spot a βtrue visionβ (or just pretend you did). a fainting act doesnβt hurt
AVOID MISHAPS . never laugh at her predictions, even if they sound ridiculousβsheβll doom you for life (and you never know what fate holds)
β β. HERBOLOGY.
DEALING WITH PROFESSOR SPROUT . show some love for plants, and sheβll adore you. donβt sass her or underestimate how dangerous some herbs are
HOMEWORK . care guides for magical plants, essays on uses for their parts, and detailed sketches
TIPS TO EXCEL . be gentle with the plants, even the ones with attitudes. also, if youβre prone to daydreaming, please keep a note of which vines bite
EXTRA CREDIT . cultivate a rare magical plant and present its uses in class (good luck on that, thoughβ¦)
AVOID MISHAPS . always wear gloves when handling anything spiky, slimy, or screaming (good rule of thumb for life, to be honest)
β β. HISTORY OF MAGIC.
DEALING WITH PROFESSOR BINS . he doesnβt even care if youβre awake, but it helps if you look like youβre taking notes
HOMEWORK . endless essays on goblin rebellions, giant wars, and other events youβll most definitely forget by next term
TIPS TO EXCEL . use mnemonic devices to remember key dates. start essays earlyβhe grades on length and detail
EXTRA CREDIT . find obscure historical details to add to essays. mentioning βprimary sourcesβ makes you look smart, and Binns doesnβt typically look into it further
AVOID MISHAPS . donβt doodle in your notes too obviouslyβhe might drone on even more if he catches you
β β. POTIONS.
DEALING WITH PROFESSOR SNAPE . know your ingredients and donβt speak unless spoken to. follow his instructions perfectly and try to look invisible. or heβll eviscerate you
HOMEWORK . brewing practice and essays on potion theory. if you mess up the potion, heβll expect twice the length in your essay
TIPS TO EXCEL . re-chop your ingredients before class, and try to do other prep work. Snape hates inefficiency and watching students bumble around their work station
EXTRA CREDIT . create a new potion under his supervision. (warning: he will make you test it out yourself)
AVOID MISHAPS . donβt ever blame Snape or his instructions if something explodes. just accept it and clean up quietly
β β. TRANSFIGURATION.
DEALING WITH PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL . sheβs strict but fair. do your work well, and sheβll respect you; slack off, and sheβll make you wish you hadnβt
HOMEWORK . spell diagrams, written explanations, and frequent wandwork practice
TIPS TO EXCEL . precision and focus are key. get creative, but donβt try anything too wild without permission
EXTRA CREDIT . demonstrate a flawless human-to-animal transfiguration (with her approval)
AVOID MISHAPS . never let your transfigured objects escapeβchasing a hopping teacup through the halls is not fun, and youβll never hear the end of it
β β. ARITHMANCY.
DEALING WITH PROFESSOR VECTOR . sheβs sharp and no-nonsense, but sheβs got a soft spot for students who genuinely try. donβt show up without your charts; sheβll notice
HOMEWORK . endless numerical equations and analysis of magical patterns. expect to translate runes into numbers and vice versa
TIPS TO EXCEL . understand how numbers relate to magicβthis isnβt just math, itβs magic theory in disguise. double-check your work; one wrong digit can tank your entire assignment
EXTRA CREDIT . present a new numerological correlation, like how the number β7β might affect potion brewing. bonus if itβs creative but realistic
AVOID MISHAPS . never guess at a solutionβProfessor Vector will spot laziness in seconds. keep your workspace neat, or the equations will haunt you
β β. ANCIENT RUNES.
DEALING WITH PROFESSOR BABBLING . sheβs patient and incredibly smart, but donβt come to class unprepared. misreading a rune will make her launch into a lecture about βrespecting the symbolsβ
HOMEWORK . translate ancient texts, decipher rune sequences, and write essays on magical etymology. sometimes includes carving your own runes for practice
TIPS TO EXCEL . memorize the rune meanings and their magical propertiesβflashcards help. pay attention to detail; even a tiny line can change the meaning of a rune
EXTRA CREDIT . create your own rune sequence that produces a magical effect and explain its purpose. creative runework always gets top marksβit shows you care
AVOID MISHAPS . donβt mix up Nordic and Celtic runesβthey have very different contexts, and Professor Babbling will lecture you for days
β β. MUGGLE STUDIES.
DEALING WITH PROFESSOR BURBAGE . sheβs enthusiastic and loves students who ask questions, even obvious ones. if you show respect for Muggle ingenuity, youβre golden
HOMEWORK . research papers on Muggle inventions and their impact, as well as practical exercises like identifying Muggle objects
TIPS TO EXCEL . donβt overthink itβMuggles live without magic, but theyβre surprisingly clever. show curiosity and avoid using the word βprimitiveβ
EXTRA CREDIT . present a Muggle artifact and explain how it works. bonus points if you demonstrate something functional, like a can opener or a bicycle pump
AVOID MISHAPS . donβt call electricity βthe Muggle version of Lumosβ unless you want a 10-minute tangent about how theyβre completely different
β β. FLYING.
DEALING WITH MADAM HOOCH . sheβs strict but fair; listen to her instructions, and sheβll let you have some fun. mess around, and youβll be grounded faster than you can say βQuidditchβ
HOMEWORK . practicing broom control outside of class and writing essays about famous flyers or the mechanics of flight
TIPS TO EXCEL . focus on balance and broom gripβthis isnβt about speed (yet.) always stretch before class; cramps mid-air are embarrassing and painful
EXTRA CREDIT . show off advanced flying techniques, like tight turns or broom dives (but only if youβre really confident). bonus for clean landings
AVOID MISHAPS . never try to show off in front of the first-yearsβwobbling on a loop-the-loop is not a good look. keep your broom maintained; a splintered handle spells disaster.
[ there you have itβfollow this guide, and youβll not only pass these classes with flying colors, but you might even look like you know what youβre doing while youβre at it, and maybe youβll avoid getting hexed by Snape. weβll see ]

















