I want to have no genitals whatsoever. I’ve wanted this for a while. But I keep ruminating in my head over whether I have repressed CSA trauma. Like, feeling like I need to figure that out before I ever seriously consider a nullectomy. Or that seriously considering it at all is off the table and I just need to figure out why I’m like this.

In my defense, there are other traits I have that tend to be indicative of repressed trauma. Even if I didn’t want any form of SRS. But I also feel like the desire to not have any genitalia isn’t a desire that a rational person would have. And that it has to be sexual trauma of some variety because no one would want nothing as part of their ideal body normally.

I feel like I treat nullectomy/nullification surgery as a class all of its own. Like, wanting a vagina or a penis or both is fine. Wanting neither means there’s something wrong with you. And by proxy something wrong with me. I would dismiss this as my brain just making fun of me over anything I’ve ever wanted ever. Because it doesn’t want me to have nice things. But these beliefs also affect how I view other people who want nullification.

Context [link]

It is varsexism, yes (though I wouldn't say towards transnull people specifically, as anyone of any gender or sex can desire nullification.)

I am glad you recognize that your internalized self-hatred and experiences with CSA has influenced the way you view this procedure. It's good that you have self-awareness.

While it is perfectly valid to crave nullification due to sexual trauma, you should work on understanding other reasons people may have for desiring nullification.

Some common reasons I've seen are:

1: The person has a gender or sex identity that - for their personal experience (as people can have different gender or sex goals) - would be most affirmed through being without genitals, or with having buried genitals.

2: The person is uninterested in sex or repulsed by sex due to being ace-spec, and feel as though their genitals are a nuisance.

3: The person wishes to dedicate themself to abstinence for the sake of religion/spiritual beliefs.

There are, of course, many other reasons why nullification is desired for a lot of people. But those are the most common ones - alongside your sexual trauma example - that I've seen.

Your mindset also negatively impacts intersex people [link] on the agenital spectrum. Having absent, closed off, small, or buried genitals is just as natural as any other genital formation.