#enben

*(Read: Assertive of our boundaries and stood firm on the fact that our identities are deserving of respect)

We should be allowed to make a sour face or take a cold tone with someone when they carelessly misgender us for the fifth time in a row despite multiple corrections. We should be allowed to complain about erasure and ask where our needs and experiences come into play when we hear people reinforcing binary normativity in their discussions of gender related issues. We should be allowed to be visibly/audibly angry with other trans people when they try to forcibly categorize us as fem or masc, or imply that our enbyness is a mere phase that will eventually lead to "real/full" (binary to binary) transition.

Whenever the terms transfem and trans woman are used interchangeably it is exorsexism.

Whenever tme/tma is used to ignore enben or categorize enben into woman lite or man lite it is exorsexism.

Whenever all transfems are reffered to as sisters it is exorsexism.

Whenever all transfemininity is equated with MTF it is exorsexism.

Whenever transfems are expected to medically transition it is exorsexism.

Whenever transfems are expected to pass it is exorsexism.

Whenever transfems are conflated with non-men it is exorsexism.

Whenever transfems are expected to always be transfem it is exorsexism.

Hi! Good question!

Enben is the plural of enban, the non-binary gendered equivalent of man/woman. It is derived from the term enby. I prefer to use it because enby was initially understood to be a term that referred to non-binary youth. Whilst not everyone uses it that way, I personally prefer to use enban to describe all non-binary people to both show enben that there is more vocabulary to describe ourselves, but also to subtly uninfantilise non-binary people. Enban is a more adult feeling option. It also helps popularise these terms so other enben as well as binary people are aware of nonbinary vocabulary.

not all nonbinary people use they them or even like the set. nonbinary people can use he him, she her, it its, neopronouns, or any combination of these. it is perfectly acceptable and encouraged to default to they them if you do not know a persons pronouns, but the best way to know how to call a nonbinary person is to just ask us.

nonbinary people are not "theys" or "thems" or "they thems" or any term that simplifies us to pronouns. we are not all "things" or "creatures." there are absolutely nonbinary people who are alright with, or even use, these terms, but many of us do not like the dehumanizing aspect of it and find it offensive. the best way to know how to refer to us is to just ask us.

nonbinary people may present any way they want. they can present femininely, masculinely, neutrally, androgynously, or with any other modality. nonbinary people are not required to present "opposite" of their sex and we are not required to present neutrally or androgynously.

nonbinary people can be straight just as they can be gay or lesbian. not all nonbinary people are multisexual. it is entirely up to the person to decide how to label themselves. some nonbinary people use these more well known terms and some use terms made explicitly for nonbinary people such as trixic, toric, enbian, ceterosexual, gai, strayt, uranic, neptunic, and so many more. some nonbinary people use multiple attraction labels and some only use one. some nonbinary people use consistent labels and some nonbinary people use contradictory ones. it is entirely up to the person to decide how to label themselves.

nonbinary people can choose to transition socially, medically, or both. some nonbinary people pick a different name and some use their birth name. some nonbinary people choose a gender neutral name and some choose explicitly masculine or feminine ones. some nonbinary people want to start HRT and some do not. some nonbinary people choose to take typically prescribed amounts and some choose to microdose HRT. some nonbinary people go through the medilegal process and some DIY. some nonbinary people want top surgery and others dont. some nonbinary people desire opposite genitalia and some nonbinary people are fine with their current. some nonbinary people are altersex and desire a mix, combination, or lack of genitalia. some nonbinary people are intersex and many of us are perisex or dyadic.

Oh wow, first selfie in a very long time.