Jul 17
The Sacred Rage Podcast with Susannah Clarke
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The Sacred Rage Podcast with Susannah Clarke
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Secrets make families sick and trauma gets passed down generationally. My family does not want me to talk about this. But if we don't talk openly about our shame, then nothing is every going to change. “A woman becomes a responsible parent when she stops being an obedient daughter." - Glennon Doyle
"mormon heritage" you mean my mom? my mom and nobody else? my mom who converted after i was born? that heritage?
This morning I was looking at my wife with dreamy eyes and she was talking about something nerdy and cute and she saw me looking at her and stopped and reached down and pinched my cheek and said “now we’re crab married” and all day we’ve been pinching each other gently and saying “crab wife” and that’s what love is tbh
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I make a lot of snarky posts about progmos on this app, but I really am glad my family is among them. Without them, I’d have never been able to come out and transition.
Progmos can really suck but conservative mormons and even centrist mormons, primarily the leaders of the church, are the true killers. Never forget that.
On the asscrack’s chance that I ever become famous, somebody needs to make sure that nobody ever finds the Tumblr cringeposts of when 14 yr old closeted me was -in a fit of religiously-fuelled delusion- fully convinced that Mitt Romney was the antichrist.
I didn’t even know who Trump was
I get asked a lot what "broke my shelf" and why I left the Mormon Cult. Seeing as, despite being a corpse-paint wearing goth who swore like a sailor and loved horror movies, I was one of the obnoxious Mormons who did not drink caffeine, never said goddamn or jesus christ as swears, and made saving myself until marriage a personality trait, it really did come out of nowhere. The fact I was often asked to teach classes when teachers were absent and give talks because I knew the material so well despite showing up to church dressed like a drag version of The Crow (you have to wear dresses as a girl when attending church) proves I was That Mormon.
I wish I could say it something really progressively profound, but I was born and raised in the cult in a society of people who were also born and raised in the cult so I did not know about those types of things. I frequently and unironically said; "The Church is true, but the people aren't," and loved the film Mobsters and Mormons. As I was a staunch supporter of LGBTQ+ rights, pro choice, and as feminist as an active LDS girl could be (which isn't as feminist as I wish I had been, let's be real) people assume I left because of one of those reasons. I wish that were the case, I just truly was blind to how LGBTQ+ people, PoC, and women were regarded in the Church. Likely because people actively hid it from me.
When I was in college I met a girl who was very clearly either a closeted lesbian or a closeted trans person. She also happened to be a Bible thumping holy rolling Christian whose sole purpose in becoming my friend was to Save me. That is a story all on its own. However we both liked House MD. When we saw the episode with the CNA who was concerned she was dying because the Death Cat slept on her, she tells a heartwarming story about the Seventh Day Adventists and how even after being proved wrong multiple times they actually became more faithful. I said to her; "If someone proved the Mormon Church wrong like that, I would leave immediately." She asked me if I was sure. I said yes.
The next day she brought me one paper, printed off from her home printer, of a quote from one of the LDS Prophets stating that humans would never go to the moon.
So I decided to stop being Mormon, then and there.
Why? Because if the Prophet spoke to God and everything he said was God's Truth directly from God Himself, then he could not have been wrong about humans going to the moon. Therefore, since he was factually incorrect (we've been to the moon goddammit; eat shit, conspiracy theorists) then I concluded the Prophet therefore did not speak to God, and thus the Church was not True.
Now obviously since her goal was to convert me (her family moved to Utah with the goal of converting as many Mormons as possible and thus had loads of literature proving the Mormon church fake but all from a Christian-based PoV) her next step was to get me to go to her church. (I did attend and yes, I was Saved, but that, too, is a different story.) She did state she genuinely thought it was going to take more than that. My shelf must have been pretty heavy admittedly, but at the time I wasn't aware of all the Shit™ that was running in the back of my mind.
I did not, however, realize I had been raised in a cult until a decade later. At the time I simply thought this isn't the religion for me. I did not do any serious unpacking and unlearning and research until after I had realized it was a cult.
So there you have it. That's what broke my shelf.