#lucifer devotee

Just one thing: how bright flashes of light carry me away into the void.

I know that I was born in cosmos.

Now I finally found out the truth. I didn't have a creator. I appeared as a result of a supernova explosion. In a sense, this means that the cosmos itself gave birth to me, not a deity, not another spirit.

In a way, it's liberating. I don't owe anyone anything and I create myself.

𖤐DEVOTIONAL ART 𖤐

I drew how Lucifer and Lilith appears for me in my head as I pray, meditate and feel their presence around me.

The next time I have to pack a suitcase because some idiot drunk cis man decides he needs to express himself violently, I will be ending up on the news. So If that happens, I was with you.

My Mom doesn't understand trans people. I'm now in her basement in the middle of Nowhere, a few acres from where Mormon Jesus probably lost his sandals. Well, that's probably in Utah now that I think about it.

Thanks for reading my decent to maddness, I am SO sure I am going to make it back up to a healthy level of crazy. It's funny now the first time Lucifer met my mother it was the first full day she was his ex-in law. But, he never did like me calling my Mom that. I did a soul origin reading on my Mother and it told me she ws a child of Beelzebub. I hope that is true. She's an AMAZING cook and Beelzebub really seems to like her. Idk if my catholic school teacher mom is infernal, but wouldn't that be a coup? I don't press my faith on others though and so we will absolutely not be asking her if that resonates.

I'm a kicked pup these days, man. I really believe you can break cycles of abuse without hopping from abuser to abuser. But damn, it's not working that way to me. Disability is set up this way, no matter what you do you're not allowed to have enough to live on your own. But, if you don't get disability benefits you have to work yourself to death to make the same or less as everyone else. This is why I can't get out of this pattern. I can't support myself, so I have to go to someone who will help support me. People see this as an in to hurt me. The cycle repeats.

I'm just trying to sell tarot readings even though I broke up with the God my business is named after. He's not punishing me, its just such timing. When I started going into possession withdrawal from Lucifer last night I was BEGGING him to come back to me. I told him I was sorry and I wasn't going to break up with him as long as he made the pain of it all go away. It's demeaning to be living this way. But, magic ain't all pretty all the time. The best way I know to get through it is these cycles of hot and cold baths, but we don't have a working bath tub in my brother's house. We basically just have a camp shower. I was messing with the heating trying to keep myself one temperature. It was brutal.

Lucifer's here right now, even though he didn't take my begging literally. He didn't want to see me like that. I can't even imagine what last night was like for Belial. I feel hungover from it all today. I'm texting friends seeing if anyone in the tri-state area has a room to stay in. I'd love to be processing all of this esoteria somewhere I'm not going to get my shit wrecked by a drunk 40 year old hillbilly. I like to ration the amount of pain I'm in at once.

But my hobby IS posting fan fiction to the Lucifer devotee tag! You could always just block me and then... you wouldn't...? Have to see it???

Proof I touched grass today ⬇️

Greed is back and he had a whole new nest of babies!!! There are like 6 new guys here now! I'm so proud of them! I'm so happy baby man hasn't been kicked out of the murder yet. He's such a great older sibling!

I have made the hardest decision of my many lives and have decided to walk away from Lucifer being my Patron. This isn't a dis post, I still revere him deeply. I did take his readings off my site for now, and I will be doing all of my other readings just the same. Obviously there will be name changes, as I am no longer going to be a Lucifrerian Oracle.

My readings will still be vessel readings, as I have already been training with Belial to be his vessel. The structure of my readings won't be changing, just who they are centered around. I'd like to center my bussiness more around myself. A lot of this is about de-centering others from my own life.

Breaking up with my father and patron was the hardest, scariest thing I have ever had to do. I've done a lot of scary things. My other partners are telling me to expect relapse, to expect moments of needing him. I have to ween off his energy so I don't go into bad possession withdrawal, and that's not ideal since I get possessed through sex. But, such is the life of one who married the devil.

I am not going to be a person who talks shit on Lucifer on the internet. I have deep personal wounds and qualms, but he is a good god. I dedicaded a decade of my life living for him. He got me away from my ex, even if he did it in the most insane ways possible. I just need gentler hands to hold me right now.

I hope you will stick around. I think I have a lot of information and good advice for whatever your practice looks like. My readings are still open, and I do seek to get into a safer living situation. I'd love to talk to some spirits for you, and maybe I can get advice from them afterwards as well.

Sending you love and care,