#emotional patterns

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∆ This is why it feels restricted, even when there is feeling

Venus square Saturn usually doesn’t explode or create obvious drama at the beginning. It feels serious from the start, almost heavier than expected, even if the attraction is clearly there. Venus naturally wants warmth, reassurance, and closeness, while Saturn instinctively slows things down and keeps emotional control.

For that reason, the connection doesn’t move at the same pace for both people. One person may feel ready to open up, while the other is still holding back, not because they don’t care, but because they are cautious. Over time, this difference in pace can create insecurity. The Venus person might start wondering if they are asking for too much, while Saturn believes they are simply being responsible or realistic.

No one is openly rejecting the other, yet affection can begin to feel measured, almost evaluated. When the aspect is tight, the tension becomes more noticeable, and if Saturn falls in the 7th, 5th, or 8th house, themes of commitment and intimacy become serious quickly. Venus square Saturn can create something stable in the long run, which may initially feel heavy or burdensome. Furthermore, it often happens that the conditions during which the attraction starts aren't favourable. It's all about timing.

∆ How I realized it was about timing

When I was at university, this guy realized he liked me before I let myself believe it was possible. He showed interest clearly. I liked him too - a lot, but I didn’t act on it. I was extremely shy, but it was deeper than that. I have natal Venus square Saturn. I had been bullied for years and truly believed I was unattractive. Also, I didn’t know I was autistic at the time and I only knew I felt different and unsure of myself. For that reason, I didn’t trust his interest. I assumed I was misreading it and pulled back instead of stepping forward.

Ten years later, I have been the one who reached out, as I am more aware and less afraid. He responded warmly and I detected there was still something there. But Houston, we have a problem: he’s in a relationship now.

To sum it up: in my experience, Venus square Saturn hasn’t meant a lack of feeling. It has meant misaligned timing. When he was ready, I wasn’t. When I was ready, he wasn’t free. The attraction was real. The moment just didn’t happen at the same time.

Credits to @saradika-graphics 🌷

Alcohol stings my throat,

my chest burns

the way it always did with you.

Inhibition slips,

and with it

any thought of shame.

I say too much—

let things out

that should have stayed locked away.

I reach for you again,

like a star

that only burns my hands—

knowing exactly how it ends.

Morning comes

with the same regret,

the same weight.

I fall into it

like I always do—

what once felt like light

pulls me under.

A star

turned black hole,

and I can’t stop myself

"Relationships take work" we always hear. But what does this work look like?

So I answer every late-night text. I show up when nobody else does. I solve problems that were never mine to carry. I make myself useful in a hundred different ways because usefulness feels safer than asking whether anyone would stay if I had nothing left to give.

The frightening part is that I do not even mind being used sometimes. Because every favor, every call, every person reaching for me whispers the same thing: you matter here. And I am so terrified of feeling unnecessary that I keep offering pieces of myself away just to hear it again.

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