The Healing Mindset

"Enjoy the journey..." you always hear.

There is truth in that. You may not see it in the moment, but you'll look back with nostalgia when you finally do reach your goal.

This can be a difficult shift to make. But once you do, you will notice how energized you are by the tasks that are calling for you attention.

Keep ascending. Keep doing your part. Allow to fall away those things that you cannot do anything about and that you cannot immediately influence. Trust that those things will be handled for you. Because they will be.

Whatever you didn't get done. Let it remain that way.

It's easy to be hard on ourselves. To feel like we've messed up. To feel like we've fallen behind because of the choices we've made.

However, life can throw the most positively surprising curveballs that can put us in a space we never could have imagined.

Keep the hope. Keep the faith. Keep doing your part.

Don't work against your energy.

It's very possible to get into a state of mind where you feel like you know better than what your mind and body are telling you. Or, you choose to push forward thinking that things will get better or will not be as bad as you already know them to be.

Your mind can be your greatest asset once you learn how to manage the directions in which it tries to take you.

As always, I want to thank each and every one of you for sticking around during the recent months of reduced posting.

Since February 2026, I have been going through some personal struggles regarding a relationship that did nothing but drag me down mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically since it's start during the Fall months of 2024.

You likely noticed an increase in shared posts in late 2025 into early 2026 that leaned more toward relationship clarity and clarity in proper treatment from others. This was because at the time, I was going through a reckoning of sorts, finally waking up to what was happening to me in the connection.

I am still unpacking all of what took place, why, and how, but I can say that from the beginning of the relationship, I was spot on with what I was seeing.

Unfortunately, I wanted to give the other person the benefit of the doubt, which only led to them hurting me more and more deeply, despite them professing deep "love and admiration" for me. What they were giving me felt like anything but love, admiration, affection, or whatever other adjectives you could apply in this direction.

My mental health took a major hit. I sat with the other person through countless conversations and used all the skills I've been learning over the years. Clear and concise communication, "I feel" statements, asking them clarifying questions, the list goes on. Each time, I was only ever given lip service. One particular evening in March 2026, the other person told me that they had absolutely no recollection of the times that I'd brought any of my grievances to them, all the while, they continued to tell me just how perfect of a partner I was, and just how much they loved me...

We'd cohabitated since late 2024, something that I was initially uncomfortable with but tried to become okay with as time passed. Needless to say, things only declined more rapidly after I was home more due to a change in jobs for me in early 2025. The other person had never lived on their own before, having always had roommates, living with past romantic partners, or living with their parents when none of the other conditions applied. This was something that was rather apparent to me upon us moving in together as they had absolutely no regard for personal space or cleanliness.

As of mid-June, the two of us have separated. It was always clear that they were working with a lot of past trauma and baggage that only served to make the relationship much more difficult than it needed to be. I ended up paying the price for all of those things.

In the time since separation, I realized that I had been in survival mode since September 2025, something that really solidified throughout the Fall and into the Winter months. I never was able to fully relax or be at peace around the other person despite them wanting to be there as my partner.

It only dawned on me after the fact that they never had the space for me in their life that they wanted to have, nor did they have the capacity for the life and relationship they said they wanted. Though I realize this isn't my fault, my self-confidence and belief in myself still took a bit of a hit.

As I recover, I will be getting back up to speed in developing content for the blog and making sure I stay on top of posting.

Operating from our fears and traumas can be stifling. It can and will keep us stuck.

The thing is, operating from that mindset is one that we feel will keep us safe in the event that things do not go the way we would like them to. However, when operating from an elevated mindset, it doesn't matter if things don't go our way. We know that everything will be just fine and that we will have plenty of other opportunities to get what we are after.

Sometimes, we may be so committed to a certain bath in life that we forget about all of the other opportunities that are out there for us. We may be easily susceptible to the "sunk-cost fallacy". We've been on this path for this long, so let's just keep giving. Let's keep investing.

The better option may just be to change your course altogether.

It is easy to continue to fall into dysfunctional patterns because they are familiar. Same with dysfunctional relationships.

We come to expect the chaos that comes after a few moments of calm and we tell ourselves that we're "growing" through it and that we are better because of that.

Unfortunately, this is delusion. The chaos that comes from that dysfunction is doing nothing but draining you and keeping you trapped in a dynamic that is keeping you stuck. It feels "rewarding" after you seem to work through problem after problem that appears, but have you stopped to consider that your skills may be better used in a much better situation that is actually helping you to progress?

You've changed. You set out to change. It was intentional.

There is nothing wrong with that. In fact, it's a great thing. It means that you have the capacity for life. Because if nothing else is true about life, change is always present.