The Healing Mindset

Quite a timely message.

Sometimes, we can get so focused on trying to make our experiences "good" that we cause ourselves unnecessary suffering.

No matter where you are or what you are doing, be sure that you are present, aware, and there to learn something about yourself.

How does this situation make me feel?

Am I enjoying this?

The topic/subject of narcissism can be quite controversial at times.

Years ago, I'd done some reading and research on the topic, not knowing that covert narcissism was something that existed.

I dealt with someone for nearly two years who operated by this exact outline. I brought up issues with them, then suddenly, they would go into a harsh emotional spiral for which they desired I apologize to them for. The dynamic got old quickly and that was a relationship that I had to end.

Take up space. Live your life.

Be confident.

I know that each of these things can be easier said than done when you have been through the trauma of emotional unpredictability/abuse, and walking on eggshells.

The people who cause you to feel this way are the problematic ones. They are the ones who should be apologizing. Not you.

Personal sovereignty is a big deal.

You find yourself in thought loops. Trying to figure out what went wrong. Trying to figure out what you did wrong. Most often times, the answer to this is that you didn't do anything wrong. And the thing that went wrong is that there is someone trying their best to control the narrative of what you have with them.

Plain and simple.

They are manipulating the situation to their advantage to keep you confused. To erode your confidence and keep you in a "fog-of-war" state of being.

This is abuse.

They will try to convince you otherwise. When you call them out, they may say something like "you don't know what abuse is".

Success doesn't always have to be complex, big, or flashy.

When forging your own path, there will be some difficulty. Instead of allowing the challenges to wear you down, be diligent and disciplined. Find ways to allow those experiences to sharpen you. Learn. Improve. Grow.

I get it.

You're growing. You're even outgrowing your environment.

The part that is understandable is that even though this is happening, there is a part of you that still wants to hang on to that old environment. Those old patterns. You're comfortable there. Trust me, I understand.

However, you know that you're good at making the best of the situations that you encounter in your life. It may be a little difficult, but you can grow to be comfortable in those new spaces. Or, you could end up feeling more comfortable that you even thought possible given your new perspective and set of skills.

"Enjoy the journey..." you always hear.

There is truth in that. You may not see it in the moment, but you'll look back with nostalgia when you finally do reach your goal.

This can be a difficult shift to make. But once you do, you will notice how energized you are by the tasks that are calling for you attention.

Keep ascending. Keep doing your part. Allow to fall away those things that you cannot do anything about and that you cannot immediately influence. Trust that those things will be handled for you. Because they will be.

Whatever you didn't get done. Let it remain that way.

It's easy to be hard on ourselves. To feel like we've messed up. To feel like we've fallen behind because of the choices we've made.

However, life can throw the most positively surprising curveballs that can put us in a space we never could have imagined.

Keep the hope. Keep the faith. Keep doing your part.