#dissosciative

Have y'all always known you were fictives or could that realisation come later?

My identity as a part has always been a mystery to me it's one of the reasons I'm known to lash out so much...

Feel free to drop any experiences or such in the comments. I'd be grateful.

Everything I know is a lie. My whole reality was created by someone I now have to share a skull with! My whole family isn't here I'm on my own. My whole life and memories were created by someone else so not only am I stuck here on a planet I vaguely recognise inside the skull of the person that made me exist

I'm a made up person from a made up story written by someone in my head and his friend.

Nothing is real. Everything I know is a lie made up by someone else.

How the fuck am I meant to deal with knowing that?!

And I may not have many skills that matter. I may not be able to function much, I can't be very mobile and I don't do social well. But right now? I have crime shows, a cuddly Pikachu and a slight obsession with aesthetic boards. But you know what else? That seems to be exactly what our new persecutor needs. I've known Chris a lot longer than a lot of these guys cuz she split from my brother. Sure she won't talk to me and wants to be mostly alone. She hides at the back of my awareness, but I know she's there.

And maybe some Death in Paradise and some cuddles with my Pikachu plush is what she needs. I can tell when she reacts to the boards I like and reblog, like we're connected in some small way.

I may not have a role that counts. But right now I can help her more than anyone.

And that's what matters.

I don't know who I am.

I know who I'm not though

I'm not who they think I am, or any of the people they want me to be. But... That doesn't help with who I am.

Fuck if they'd just let me meet everyone else maybe someone could help. But that won't ever happen.

I'm just stuck. Dissociated. Who am I?! Why don't I know! Why won't anyone help me...?

If anyone is interested at all. I used to be called Ronnie? But the system recently discovered I'm a fictive of a character Axel created called Seraphim. I'm going by Sera.

I'm a mixed race elf (high elf and dark elf) from a game invented by one of Axel's friends. I was also something called an arcane, which is a magical being.

I had something called a splintered soul (literally ended up being 5 seperate souls in 1 body) but I'm the only one of them that's here. (I think)

I don't why I'm saying all of this to be honest but I'm currently probably having a panic attack now anyway coupled with deep existential nihilism...

So hello?

I guess.

Ilias finally took his mask off! He finally trusted us enough to remove it! It used to be mine a very long time ago, but he's worn it since he showed up which was about a year and a half ago? And he finally took it off!! Making heaps of progress today!

He's not ready to talk about where he came from or how he got the scars he now does but none of us expected him to ever remove it. Things are suddenly looking a little less bleak

It'll probably stalemate like this for a while but that is honestly 1000x better than she was before, baby steps in the right direction!

Good job kiddo, we're all super proud!

(well everyone currently about, I didn't do the others because I don't remember what they look like/never met them)

Small positive steps are still positive!