The worst part about researching a disability that you have is finding out over and over that so many other problems you have are connected to it. Your brain and body are literally perfectly aligned to be broken in all the specific ways that they are, all the issues cursed to be together.
Like, oh yeah! OCD is a comorbidity for another issue that I have! Of course! Because it couldn't just suck on its own! It had to bring all of its 2000 relatives!!!
And then a study or article will just be like "We studied people with [my disorder] and [another one of my disorders] and found patterns! They are connected and also have an increased rate of [damn it, it's another one of my struggles again!]" and I just have to go on with the rest of my day with the knowledge that my brain was literally set up to develop all of these problems together.
Turns out, me struggling with all these issues had nothing to do with me "not trying hard enough" My brain is literally made to work like this and that's also connected to everything else about me that I didn't even realize was a part of this whole polycule of disabilities and daily struggles.
What do you mean my impulsivity, emotional regulation issues, and executive dysfunction are all related to my trichotillomania and skin picking?! And Maladaptive daydreaming??? And OCD!!! AND-
Like. Come on :( I'm just a silly little guy! You can't just all gang up on me! That's unfair :((((
My silly ball of neurons ^v^ perfectly built to be fucked up in 20 different specific ways that are all connected somehow :D Yay!...