#cfs

yeah, it do kinda feel like I've been poisoned. A heavy, aching burn in my muscles and bones accompanied by an activation of the sympathetic nervous system that manifests itself in a feeling of impending doom, dread, 'wrong'ness that makes it very difficult to lie still.

The running theory is that this is is caused by a buildup of lactic acid in the muscles, due to our bodies defaulting to using aerobic glycolysis to metabolize cellular energy. Less efficient, less energy created, more toxic byproducts like lactic acid.

When I say I'm always tired, a lot of people probably think like... Maybe I just have low energy or feel like I didn't get enough sleep. But, no, it's a lot worse than that. Imagine, you've stayed up for 24 hours. A lot of people who've done all nighters know that feeling, you're dead tired. You can feel your reaction times being slower, you're light-headed, and everything takes an extra layer of effort. You're grumpy, hyper-vigilant, you even have some paranoia going on or even mild hallucinations once in a blue moon. Imagine feeling that all the time. Imagine, no matter how much sleep you get; how much caffeine you consume; that's how you feel on a sliding scale every single day. Some days you're just super fucking tired and sluggish, sure, those happen too. And, they're bad on their own. But, you never feel rested. You are always, to some degree, in that state of feeling like you haven't slept in forever. Now, imagine living in the US where you're expected to work for a living even in that state. You're driving. You are on the road in that state, because of our car-based infrastructure. When you do have a job and you're working, you have to figure out how to find a flow where you don't just constantly collapse or fuck everything up because of the tired state you're in. You are now not only in danger, yourself, but as a result you're potentially endangering others because of being expected to just "deal" with your fatigue.

Now, do you see why it's so god damn ridiculous that this disability isn't taken seriously by not only society at large; but the government when you apply for disability?